Tag: valentines
In Search of
I need a date for a wedding.
Michelle and Josh are tying the knot on the day b efore Valentines (Bill’s birthday in fact) and of corus ei am invited which is great but at the same time — going alone is not something I want to do.
And yet candidates to go to the wedding with me – friends or more – are few and far between. Some people have tread on that friendship with me and I’d be reaching down to ask her to go. Others are either too far or just might feel too awkward to go. Of coruse, me not even asking and jumping to conclusions makes things worse than they are.
But then again, it’d be easier if I knew exactly who to ask and wasn’t just takign them as a friend…. But seeing I’m not in arelationship and not nearly in one… it’ll be just friends for this thing.
A Year Ago
A year ago, I was in love.
Yes John was in love.
And it was the beginning of the end of that love and the first signs of a shit year that I was due to have.
Put off, led on, put off, strung along, that is how I would term things and how they’ve been with a former friend and former desire. Someone who I felt so comfortable with and yet even when the relationship seemed so mutual – it wasn’t. No, there was this underlying, unspoken dread that never came out honestly. The shifting, the bullshitting, the tap-dancing around issues… You would have thought that George W. Bush or one of his administration officials were in charge of running things between us…
You would think that at least I could have retained a friend through all this but that isn’t the case either. No, someone stopped being a friend when they were too tense to deal with me in a time of need. My bitter beginning of my resurrection post is an ode to that.
But where am i now? In the realm of bitterness, I can’t help but think about the past and think about the good times over the bad. I can’t help but think of the dreams and the past wants. Then I remember some of the things said and done and I just have it handed to me, the fact that the past is dead and done with. It’s been tossed to the garbage and only given passing thoughts by parties who were involved within these events, thoughts, memories, desires, etc.
I’ve kept my silence about things for a few months – though bitterness has been with me throughout over things and how they came to pass and such. That’s the one thing that won’t be acknowledged or thought highly of by anyone but it’s one moral standing that I’ve kept throughout the good times and bad – I’ve tried to take the high road with things even when I find out the ridiculous is the truth. I’ve given extra chances and wanted for those chances to work out but alas, the old proverb “Hurt me once – shame on you, hurt me twice – shame on me” held true.
Here’s to the lonely hearts out there, and those who regret their actions in the past…. Here’s to those who cherish what they have, and those who cherish what they chase. Here’s to those who face up to things, and here’s to those who realize they’ve got more than they deserve….
Happy Valentines Day
It could be, it might be… it is?!
THe scent of pollen is in the air, things are starting to take a greener shade and of course there is a warm snap here….
It looks and smells like spring in Florida… It’s only the first week of February and spring seems to be here…
Pitchers and catchers report soon, of course, which underlines this fact… Valentines Day is also fast approaching which usually is spring-ish here (spring love and all that BS)…
Ah yes, the long and dry season will give away to a drier season here in the SUnshine state until it gets too friggin hot to enjoy the Florida sun…
(that’ll be April :tongue )
Happy Valentines Day Sarah
Well it’s been a month since I left a entry into my journal in any way shape or form. I’ve avoided this for one reason or another and in fact my journal came back to haunt me again a few weeks ago so I don’t know for sure if I should continue saying anything in these things. Is it because I want to be secretive? No, it’s more along the lines I don’t want to confuse anyone or upset anyone like I can do in here.
That leads me to my writing today. Today is Valentines Day, a day of heart, a day of joy for those who have found love and a day of misery for those without it, or a day or longing past romance from those you may very well be in love with but haven’t experienced the romantic side from your other in a while.
I’ve admittedly been in love since August with someone I haven’t ever met in person… Someone that has meant a lot to me because she’s not only been there to listen to me, but because we’ve just clicked in a lot of ways and I feel like she makes me better when I am with her. A better human being, a better comedian, a more thoughtful person, etc…
I don’t know what the future will bring us – if things will last any longer than a week or things are long term in the grandest meanings of the word – and of course I’ve had my doubts before (and still do of course, who doesn’t at times) but I realize the reason I am doubting a lot of the time is because of my own past or my own insecurities and paranoia… Life just tends to throw you off course whenever you see something you want and you have to keep going towards it while you can until what you desire moves either clearly out of the picture or is in your grasp.
1-4-3, S.M.R :kiss :rose
OK, now that i have gotten matters of the heart out of the way, it’s time to tell everyone just what I have been up to the past month that has made me not want to come on here and rant and rave… Well, I got fired from Target for starters. Not fired from screwing up but pink slipped. Cut backs and what not. I’m not exactly medically sound right now but I know I can get through this like I get through everything else that has ever made me intimidated before in my life — because I’m just too damned good to let it go to my head (you don’t know how bad a pun that was just now).
I’ve been all over the web trying to find something to pass the time – be it talking on instant message programs to talking on Message boards. I single handedly turned around the Segway-open mailing list as I may or may not have already reported. Segway’s, by the way, start shipping on March 1st. You’ll be seeing more of those buzzing around you soon enough.
George Dubya “Warmonger” Bush is dead set on a war in Iraq…. This goes as no surprise to me because they’ve been planning this thing since Bush took office in 2001…. Yet the entire world is against the US efforts to start a war and that is causing a bit of a problem.
Of course there is also the fact that Osama Bin Laden has issued a couple of new Communication tapes — which is always foreshadowing to an attack. The US is on a heightened terror alert right now and rightly so.
Oh yeah, and before I close this Journal entry off, I think that I have avoided a subject matter that in itself is huge that should have gotten it’s own private entry in here over the past month (but I’ve been too lazy to get to it) —
TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS! SUPER BOWL CHAMPIONS, BABY!!!!!!!!! DEFENSE WINS IT ALL!!!!!!!
