Tag: school
The real class warfare
If anyone hasn’t watched TV and seen the faces and heard the stories of people who have been effected by Hurricane Katrina, you’re fortunate.
If you’ve blamed them for staying in New Orleans or where they are — all the while being happy with how the Government has cut your taxes or happy that Corporations are racking up huge profits… you’re part of the problem…
You might have caught Kanye West tonight on NBC’s concert special to raise relief money for victim’s of Hurricane Katrina. If you missed it, Kanye said on air (before a hasty cut by NBC to Chris Tucker) “George W. Bush doesn’t care about black people.”
Though I can grasp Kanye’s sentiment and where he’s coming from, he’s shooting with the wrong gun by making this statement. The race card doesn’t have to come out as-so-much a more observant look at what is gone wrong with this country.
The weak / slow response to Hurricane Katrina (to put it simply) represents how the separation the President and most of the government from the people (both parties are guilty of this at current). There is the aristocratic class of businessmen and politicos, donors and blind supporters that get top-of-the-line treatment with focus on issues that are concerns of theirs (wedge issues that do not effect day to day life – Abortion, gay marriage, FCC decency standards, etc) while the issues that effect the general populous (being of any race, creed or color) get ignored. Infrastructure is falling apart in the US, schools are in atrocious conditions, health care and insurance are domineered by for-profit corporate interests that keeps people from protection and medical care they need. Poverty is on the rise (and has been the last 4 years) yet you are told a rosie economic picture from the government or talking head economists because the only thing that matters is the statistics or the investor class… Not the people working, not the pay rates of the blue collar class. Not the fact minimum wage has not been raised for 8 years. Just profit margins.
I don’t think it’s a black-and-white thing that Kanye said (and other African Americans are going to agree with) as-so-much a rich-vs-poor thing. Aristocrats-vs-commoners thing. Many of us commoners can’t even begin to comprehend how bad poverty is… You can hear it anyplace they talk about the tragedy that is New Orleans: “They should have gotten out! They should have gotten to Superdome, they should have… they should have…” We can assign blame but we can’t understand the logic. We can assign blame but we can’t grasp their lives. We can assign blame but many of us would take the same route in our suburban homes that these people did in their urban apartments and houses.
We truly don’t understand shit with regards to poverty and the plight of the working class if we’re going to keep allowing corporate interests and special interests to control the country with their interests at heart, not the interests of the citizens of the United States. I don’t believe Bush can grasp what the common person suffers. I could never believe John Kerry (or Hillary Clinton) would be able to comprehend it either, or Al Gore… It’s the same-old aristocrat class that is so out of touch with America that we suffer at their ineptitude.
In fact we’re dying because of their out-of-touch status.
Kanye’s blast at Bush is a blast at the fact the government has turned a blind eye on these people — and they’ll continue to do so from both parties unless we wise up and vote with our heads… We need leadership in this country, and we’re not going to get it from someone who doesn’t understand what it is to live among the people.
Light My Fire — no, put it out. Please.
It’s been a while since I decided to read any non-ficiton. Usually it’s biographical works on icons of the Entertainment industry (ie: Beatles or the Doors). Keeping with that trend, I decided to pick up Ray Manzarek’s Light My Fire, it’s a Doors autobiography I’ve been meanign to read for some time.
And yet, as I’m still in the early areas of the book, I’m trying to understand why I thought it was a must read? Probably because of all the positive reviews of the book when it originally was released. Can’t be bad at all then, can it?
From a writing standpoint, it can be all that bad. And worse. Though Manzarek has a unique perspective on his tail…. He’s not a writer.
The book comes off much like a personal journal would, I guess… Reporting the mundane as well as the gripping, life-altering events of Ray’s life… But Manzarek loses focus and direction on any given topic quite easily. At one moment he’s about to discuss finding a live performance of the Blues in the south side o fChicago, and the next moment he’s rambling about attire he wore to graduation from the 8th grade…. One moment he’s about to get into his first exposure to Beat poetry, the next he’s laying the smackdown on facism and intimidation of the California Highway Patrol. He goes off on the broadest tangents and does not focus on the event that inspires the tangent thought.
Another instance of Ray veering wildly is a recounting of Jim Morrison’s UCLA film school student film… While trying to detail Jim’s non-linear movie that Rya found “poetic”, he begins recounting Oliver Stone’s version of the student film that he made as part of his feature film on the Doors. Ray goes off on Oliver for makign an innocent film into something with anti-semitism and Nazi inneundo. He attacks Stone (as he has since the film came out in the early 1990’s) and lets the UCLA film school experience vanish from the story.
It almost comes off like a conversation — one that varies wildly as those who partake in the conversation ramble on into the night. Yet, having to read this conversation is painful… Especially with gramatical errors of repeated run-on sentences, short sentences that woudl be better combined, repetition of adjectives, etc….
Ray’s book, while from the heart, has nothing on John Densemore’s Riders on the Storm autobiography.,
Wedding Gift
So Josh and Michelle are getting hitched Sunday and now that I have some time to cram on the gift — I’m hitting a wall creatively. Not hitting a wall but my first intuition is that the poem I was going to give them, framed and with art, isn’t going to cut it.
I originally wrote this thing with a girl named Jamie Rose and her boyfriend from High School in mind. I wrote it because I felt guilty for having a crush on the chick when she was so in love with her boyfriend.
So now I am wondering what I should do — edit it where need be? Keep it as is? Bah! Choices, choices!
And let no one put assunder, for together they are a whole….
A Cold December — random venting.
Random Christmas Eve rants —
I hate having to play the dick but that is what happened a littler earlier today – maybe I didn’t exactly play it but listening to someone start falling all over themselves for the umpteenth time and putting themselves into a shit situation — a dick is all I could be.
This very person had remarked about going with your head and not with yoru heart and how things will be nifty right at the start… This person also happened to tell me, a few minutes later, that she was “in love” with an abusive, controlling, insecure prick who wanted to keep her as a possesion and not as a person.
Over a couple of weeks chatting with this girl, I’d feed her logic and a few days later she comes back with “You were right.” And yet her own self-hate, self-loathing and low self-esteem leads her to punish herself… “This is the best I can do.” “I don’t deserve better”, “I’m not good for anythign more.”
🙄
I was also told by this same little girl that I shouldn’t settle for anyone or anything, that I seem like the person who would strive for just what they want… That’s true in a lot of ways but if there is anyone in life that has been resigned to the fact he’s got to settle in the end – its me. You can have personality up the waazoo, you can be sweet and romantic and a really funny guy… You can be selfless or benevolent but it really amounts to shit with people if you got a few things wrong with your person, or don’t meet the market ideal of what a lover should be.
…
And for the record, you don’t write off people and leave them in the cold (or — even worse — confess to avoiding them) at times when they need your friendship… Or to pull that act 3 or 4 tiems and expect continued benevolence. You can’t expect a friend if you can’t be one… but that’s a cold November story so we’ll just leave it be.
…
Maybe someone needs to get typing lessons for Christmas. I type fast and don’t copy edit and what happens? I look like I don’t know how to spell anything (typo after typo).
….
Anyone who tells me they don’t deserve, is full of shit. Anyone who puts up with someone’s abuse is either too in-love or just too insecure to go back to what they had with nothing. Anyone who falls in love with someone else but gets engaged to the guy they are dating just becasue she wasn’t ready to break up yet… Well, that’s just fooling everyone and setting up for problems. You can want to share a bed with someoen but, dear God, you’re REALLY setting up to get screwed by drawing it out like that!
…
And by the way… Bryan? Not that you read my blog but you really shouldn’t get so upset over Liz. Yes there were a few misteps there but give it time, buddy. Just be a friend or try to be and be content with that. Keep your eyes open as well, you never know what else is goign to come along (and actually be clear about their intentions instead of wishy-washy like a middle-school girl.
Frances weakens a tad
But don’t be fooled by that title folks, this thing is packing a whalop and expected to make landfall as the most powerful storm ever to hit the United States.
Most schools are closed tomorrow throughout West Central and Southern Florida….
Hurricane Frances (ongoing topic)
Hurricane Frances is predicted to be at Category Five strength when it makes landfall somewhere along the Florida Peninsula on Friday night or Saturday morning. This is a rare Meteorlogical event for storms to not only reach Category Five strength in the Atlantic but also make landfall.
Palm Beach County in South Florida has started issuing evacuation notices which go into effect in the morning.
It was reported on SkyscrapersPage ongoing Tropical Weather thread that orlando has already canceled school for Friday.
The projected path has touched a bit north since I posted the graphic this morning but still — this is a dangerous storm and highly dangerous situation for South, East, West Central and North Florida…
Where's My Bridge? Or should I be yours?
When I was in middle school, we would have a special assembly every year, tied to the Yearbook being on sale, to go through som nostalgic videos clips with music, and usually the crowd woudl boo, cheer or just act indifferently to certain songs…
One of the songs I always had a deep, personal connection to every time it aired during this assembly was the following… It always aired with clips from Vietnam and it just seemed appriopriate and moving…
I’ve liked the lyrics for years but sometime I have only given them token notice…. Right now, I could use a bridge over my troubled waters — or just the need to be someone else’s. I don’t know….
Bridge Over Troubled Water
Paul SimonWhen you’re weary, feeling small,
When tears are in your eyes, I will dry them all;
I’m on your side. when times get rough
And friends just can’t be found,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.When you’re down and out,
When you’re on the street,
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you.
I’ll take your part.
When darkness comes
And pains is all around,
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down.Sail on silvergirl,
Sail on by.
Your time has come to shine.
All your dreams are on their way.
See how they shine.
If you need a friend
I’m sailing right behind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind.
The Downward Spiral of ESPN / Sportscenter
Oh how the Mighty have fallen.
Off Wing Opinion quotes two articles with regards to the breaking of the Sports news leader… The once cultish sports network has risen to carrying all 4 major sports, along with poker and other side leagues, and a promotional arm for it’s owner: Disney.
Honestly I watched for a while after Keith Olbermaan left ESPN for MSNBC… I never really fell in love with Kenny Mayne, but that’s not the real downfall of ESPN (losing an anchor). It started when Keith left the Big Show and ESPN looked for Olbermaan clones… It seemed everyone had to have extra quips and had to try to add tag lines to scores… Stuart Scott and Rich Eisen were ok with it, other people doing it just seemed a little weird if not lame.
Then Sportscenter started just getting too flash-in-th-pan for me. The News seemed to fade and trying to boost sports personalities seemed to get a rise. I was getting ESPN: The Magazine for a time and I canceled my subscription because they were hyping players that shouldn’t be hyped and trying to make me feel sorry for multi-millionaires while the relevance of the articles that appeared in the magazine seemed to degrade with every single issue.
ESPN used to stand for news to me. I grew up watching the morning editions of Sportscenter before running off to school. There were tag lines and zingers used in those days but there was also the NEWS relevance part of the coverage. It wasn’t a promo with regards to a top team, but it was a report on news of teams around he league. Sure, shitty teams didn’t get a ton of coverage but when they DID you knew they were either playing someone relevant or they themselves were becoming more relevant. I used to judge the barometer of the Bucs and Bolts through replays on ESPN, or commentary by ESPN Analysts.
I haven’t watched Sportscenter in years now… not a full episode at least. I don’t watch NFL Primetime anymore because of garbage they’ve had the last few years (including Rush Limbaugh) and the coverage of the NHL playoffs further made me loathe the former sports leader.
I miss the old days of ESPN, but of course those are never to return… But maybe someday, someone, somewhere will figure out that sports enthusiasts want to have in depth reporting and not annoying TV personalities. Sure, we’d like some entertainment with our sports but we don’t want TV ties, Film ties and other corporate ties shoved down our throats.
"The Edge" of Sanity
I decided to spin some tunes and do some writing – which hasn’t come easy the last couple of weeks — today. After some audio bullshit and sound card problems I finally got everything running smooth and I had a re-awakening from a song I used to love in Middle and High School —
Aerosmith’s Living On The Edge
I had written a paper about it years ago for my English class (Ms. Manson always supported us being free spirited and such… And encouraged us with music, poetry, writing, etc) and had taken the song too seriously, in a way, when I stated that one message from the song that could be taken was that we are living on the edge of sanity and sobriety.
Anyone who sees the pop culture and news headlines knows this to be true, so that was one thing that is very true about the lyrics of the song.
But then there’s a refrain that comes up twice in the song that I never really put two and two together with, even though it should be obvious for everyone.
If Chicken Little tells you that the sky is fallin’
Even if it wasn’t would you still come crawling
Back again
I bet you would my friend
Again and Again and Again and Again and a-
“Crawling back again” was the line that first hit me for social reasons when I listened to the first instance of this in the song, but then it started weighing on me about Chickie Little and the Sky falling. It’s talking about those who are determined to say that things are all wrong with the world — they’re too this, too that. Too much pollution, too much taxes, too much drug use, too much sex, too much media, too little intelligence, we’ve strayed to far from the church, we’ve got too much greed, too little oil, too few resour—
Hold it right there.
Something actually happens to be right in the world and even when we throw out politics and politically correctness and religion up to our asses. Everyone on either side off an issue knows the issue is wrong because they are experts on the issue and don’t want you to see the truth if it doesn’t fit into their billing. I don’t want to bring up any of my own political beliefs with this because I believe the song right now more than I believe in politics. More than I believe in government. More than I believe in religion and more than I believe in people.
Livin’ On The Edge
Hudson, Tyler, Perry
There’s somethin’ wrong with the world today
I don’t know what it is
Something’s wrong with our eyes
We’re seein’ things in a different way
And God knows it ain’t his
It sure ain’t no surprise
Livin’ on the edge
Livin’ on the edge
Livin’ on the edge
Livin’ on the edge
There’s somethin’ wrong with the world today
The light bulb’s gettin dim
There’s meltdown in the sky
If you can judge a wise man
By the color of his skin
Then mister you’re a better man than I
Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t help yourself from fallin’)
Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t help yourself at all)
Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t stop yourself from fallin’)
Livin’ on the edge
Tell me what you think about your sit-u-a-tion
Complication – aggravation
Is getting to you
If chicken little tells you that the sky is fallin’
Even if it wasn’t would you still come crawlin’
Back again
I bet you would my friend
Again & again & again & again & again
Tell me what you think about your sit-u-a-tion
Complication – aggravation
Is getting to you
If chicken little tells you that the sky is fallin’
Even if it was would you still come crawlin’
Back again
I bet you would my friend
Again & again & again & again
Something right with the world today
And everybody knows it’s wrong
But we can tell ’em no or we could let it go
But I’d would rather be a hanging on
….
Livin’ on the edge
Livin’ on the edge
Livin’ on the edge
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Livin’ on the edge
{You can’t help yourself)
(You can’t help yourself)
Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t help yourself at all)
Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t help yourself)
(You can’t help yourself)
Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t help yourself)
(You can’t help yourself)
Livin’ on the edge
(You can’t help yourself from fallin’)
Livin’ on the edge
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, you got to that now
© 1992 Swag Song Music company
Avoiding Responsibility
There are a couple of news stories I have come across on the Current Events forum on Skyscraperpage that have really got me irked right now, let me give you snippets of both:
Mother sues Coors over son’s death
RENO, Nevada (AP) — The mother of a 19-year-old killed in a traffic accident is suing Coors Brewing Co., claiming that it promotes underage drinking.
Jodie Pisco, of Reno, contends Coors has failed in its duty to protect the country’s youth from drinking. Her son, Ryan, was killed in 2002 after he drank Coors at a party and drove his girlfriend’s car into a light pole at 90 mph, the lawsuit says.
The lawsuit, filed Wednesday in Washoe County District Court, seeks unspecified damages. It accused Coors of “glorifying a culture of youth, sex and glamour while hiding the dangers of alcohol abuse and addiction.”
Story number two….
Columbine Father told to “Get a Life” by NRA
PITTSBURGH (AP) – A man whose son was killed in the Columbine High School shootings literally walked in his child’s shoes to the National Rifle Association convention, where he hoped Vice President Dick Cheney would address the federal assault weapons ban set to expire in September.
Tom Mauser, whose son Daniel was killed with an assault weapon in the Littleton, Colo., killings five years ago Tuesday, said continuing the ban is common sense.Assault weapons “are the weapons of gangs, drug lords and sick people,” Mauser said before his three-block march to the convention, which runs through Sunday. “It is a weapon of war and we don’t want this war on our streets.”
Mauser challenged Cheney to speak about extending the ban when the vice president delivered the convention’s keynote address Saturday night.
However, there was no indication Saturday afternoon that Cheney would address the matter. He was expected to reaffirm President Bush’s position that the Second Amendment protects individual gun ownership and tout statistics that federal prosecutions of gun-related crimes have risen significantly under Bush’s presidency.
NRA spokesman Andrew Arulanandam called the assault weapon ban “nothing but an incremental effort to ban more firearms.”
…
Mauser entered the convention hall where the NRA was meeting, but was turned away by a security guard as several conventioneers applauded. A couple of conventioneers yelled “Get a life” and “Vote for Bush.”
:mad
I see two articles and I see two Americas. One is a land where soemoen tries to prevent tragedies from hitting other families while another wants to avoid responsibilites One tries to lobby to keep excessively dangerous items out of the mainstream and another triest to immerse themselves in money in order to saturate grief with green.
It angers me to no end.
That mother dodges all parental responsibilities and does not take into account her own failings for her sons death. Didn’t she ever tell him not to drink and drive? To get a ride if you are too intoxicated to drive? or NOT to drink at all? “You’re not old enough yet”? Does this woman think that she is the only one that has lost a child to under-age drinking, much less drinking and driving?
I’m sorry, ma’am, but your lawsuit is full of shit. There is this organization called Mothers Against Drunk Driving that has worked tirelessly to fight drunk driving, promote awareness and — this might scare you off — parental responsibility in keeping minors away from drinking. Instead of wasting hours of time in the courts, why not try to stop the problem before it starts and help others teach their children to be responsible? That would go too far against yoru principles, wouldn’t it? :rolleyes:
Yes, it’s a tragedy what has happened but at the same time it’s a tragedy when someone thinks a lawsuit will help erase their own irresponsibilities will make things all right. Budweiser and other alcoholic companies promote good times when drinking beer and that tends to be the truth… They also have commercials that say KNOW WHEN TO SAY WHEN and DRINK RESPONSIBLY. What will you do when you have this court case thrown out? Sue God for not answering your prayers? :rolleyes
Meanwhile we have Tom Mauser who’s so was murdered in the Columbine rampage. He goes into the lions den and preaches responsibility when talking about an assault weapons ban and what happens? Mauser is ridiculed, belittled and his tragedy overlooked.
I’d like to know where the NRA stands on personal responsibility with weapons and why offensive weapons need to be open to the public just as defensive weapons are? Anyone who tells me an AK-47 is a hunting weapon is full of shit, or that an Uzi is to be used to hunt Elk or some other animal. These are not defensive weapons but are made for carnage and offensive purposes. Someone who is attacking is going to use these not to defend their property but to take yoru own… Stopping these guns from making it out into the open market is a plus… Of course, Dick Cheney and the NRA side with gun makers and will tell you that owners are supposed to be responsible and they shoudln’t be limited into what types of weapons they own…
The problem with that logic is assuming all gun owners are going to be responsible – which they aren’t. There are no licenses in place for gun users and owners, though they do background checks on gun owners to make sure they don’t sell them to criminals, it’s not like once a gun makes it out into public it can’t end up in a criminals hands… And which guns are going to lead to more damage out in public? Assault Weapons killed 13 and injured 25 in columbine… Including Tom Mausers son. For Mauser to be told to get a life over encouraging the continuation of the assault weapons ban is to see how closed minded people are when there minds are made up. “Limiting guns in any way is just working towars a ban and that violates the right to bear arms in teh bill of rights!” Yeah? And when your son or daughter get gunned down, you still will be singing that tune just becuase the NRA is more important than family, isn’t it? :rolleyes
The Melody and the Music
Someone close to me once told me that a lot of the current music out there makes you want to get up and dance. They were obsessed with Lenny Kravitz at the time (and remembering a song from High School that Lenny was wailing at the time I broke in, I can understand why) and of course I get to deal with Michelle being a music junkie of a friend too but I just can’t grasp the music and these times.
Why?
I posted on here a couple of days ago the lyrics to God Only Knows by the Beach Boys. I also have been playing the MP3 repeatedly along with some other stuff by the Beach Boys… It’s a good compliment to the Beatles, I guess, seeing that the music is fine and the lyrics can be clearly heard. The melody carries and you get lost in the lyrics.
“An endless refrain of Na-Na-Na’s” is how I’ve described the Beatles (Hey, Jude) and to describe the Beach Boys, it would be something outside of that but the same emphasis on the melody to go along with the music (“Mmmbop-bop,” perchance? Sounds like I am talking about Hanson but I’m just trying to give you a clue that I am talking about some of the backing vocals on Good Vibrations). You hear the name and you start thinking of surf music and I hate that. But even THAT had an emphasis on the melody. The problem was that it was vanilla flavored music.
So I’m thinking a lot about what I like and then I am thinking about what I get to see from music today — I don’t see a lot of innovation, I don’t see a lot of melody. I see a lot of performing and I see a lot of jamming but to find a pop song that is by an original artist, has a good tune, a backing melody… It just seems like it’s not going to happen. That’s my ignorance being re-introduced to sound after years of silence. I won’t totally grasp everything I hear but I know I can enjoy some of it.
One thing I know I like is a clear and concise lyric to a song – and a lyric that isn’t covered with slang in order to add grit to the song. I was reading a thread on Skyscraperpage about favorite lyrics and some of the shit posted is…. well, shit! ” Nigga’ ” “Fuck” “Bitch” — they’re all key words in some of what’s popular with young people today and it’s like these kids never heard MUSIC before… I mean something that blows them away. Something where they can see a couple of layers of music in the music and enjoy the song for what it possesses…. The MELODY, not going-through-the-motions singing. Not a beat box driving a song.
I might be praising songs for being clear but it’s not like I respect the canned-singers that are all voice and nothing else. I’m not a fan of American Idol-like pop where you just sing and have someone else write lyrics for you and someone else perform the backing music for you. Part of the reason I have such an affinity for the Beatles is because they did everything on there own. Brian Wilson was and is one of the Beach Boys and did a hell of a lot on his own but also had help here and there… So they are in the same area. U2 does it on there own. Nirvana did it on there own… But then again, Nirvana played loud and hard. U2 has one clear vocalist…
Good music in general makes you want to get up and dance, get up and sing… SO most of my opinions are worth shit because I’ve had every single type of music want to make me sing and dance… But I know my oldies are easier to touch and appreciate because of there ingenuity and their inventiveness… You can’t find musical inventiveness like this any more and if you can, I haven’t been made aware of it.
Losers with nothing better to do….
How pathetic?
A little troll with the IP address 168.213.1.133 posts about 1000 times under an entry in this blog to tell me I’m “Gay” and that my “mama is gay”.
To whoever has this intelligence deficit — thanks for your comments and showing how pathetic both you and your high school are…. I mean, you posted 30 times in about 5 minutes? Boy you must be bored. You also must be pretty insecure or pathetic (how about both) if you have to post stupid shit to try to slander another high school…
Just wondering, did you even attempt to read the post you were replying to? Or were you just responding to the title because you couldn’t understand the big words I used? :rolleyes
Whattaya say?
I came across someone I had been searching for over the last seven years on Classmates.com just now… Someone i used to have a mad crush on and someone I was too scared to admit I was interested in.
But that was 10th grade and High School… A long long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Or seven miles and almost 10 years.
At any rate, it got me to thinking about what you would say to someone you haven’t seen in such a long time? What would you talk about with them? Would you just come clean about things that happened last time you talked? Or old problems that might have been left unsolved between you?
Or would you start fresh like the three examples below?
“Hi, how’s it going?”
“Nice shoes, wanna fuck?”
“Excuse me, you look so familiar and I was wondering if you could tell me if this dress makes my ass look big?”
I came across this girl’s aunt online in 1999 and I had the opportunity to get in touch with her but passed on it. Why? Fear in part, and also because I didn’t want to rear my head back into her life while she certainly has a life of her own that I am not even a thought in. Time passes and things fade away — but memories and feelings aren’t so easily pushed into oblivion. I’m not planning on paying Classmates in order to get in touch with the girl for the same reasons… My interest is piqued though, for the moment.
Edit to Entry: Better question than the WHATTAYA SAY — How would you react if someone from High School suddenly dropped in on your life? SOmeone you ahven’t spoken to since then…?
Painful to watch, pleasure to have seen
There was a movie I rented before I went in for surgery in August — and it’s also a movie I put off watching… And continued to put off watching after someone told me that they had seen it and it made a profound statement to them.
It’s not because the movie made a difference, it’s because other things and such. Pay no heed to my whining, lets go back to the movie that I am talking about, and that is Michael Moore’s Bowling For Columbine which just about everyone has seen or has heard of and has an opinion about.
Part of the reason I put off watching it was because I felt like shit at the time. Won’t go into the rest of it. Moore’s film brought up a statement or two that I totally agree with. One is a statement that a cartoon tried to underline and another is a statement that Marilyn Manson – Home I am no fan of – made to Moore. There were also plenty of other things (Matt Stone’s thoughts about high school – how I only came to realize that a year after I got out of High School… That’s just one example) but these two statements that were made were what sold the movie to me most.
The first statement I will re-convey is Manson’s statement that we are a nation driven by consumption and fear. Our fear drives our consumption and our consumption is what drives our fear. You see a nation that is over-weight and yet you see commercials telling you to drink beer to get laid. Cause – effect. You see commercials telling you how to act and how many teens and young adults are terrorized because they are not the actors with the polished skin in these commercials? How many are driven to buy products slung by these actors in commercials because they think it will help them fit in?
Goes for smoking too — Peer pressure? Sure… Image conscious is peer-pressure to another degree – the desire to fit in. To be cool. To be popular…
The second statement that made the largest effect on me was a statement Manson already made but a Cartoon illustrated best – we are a nation driven by fear. We’re afraid the big black man walking down the street is going to get us. We’re afraid that if we don’t stop the government from taking our money, they will just blow it on crack-whore welfare and pork barrels, we’re afraid that if we don’t bomb the living hell out of a country, they’ll bomb the living hell out of us. The fear drives us, the fear catapults us to acting without thinking, acting in retaliation before there is anything to retaliate about.
Are we a country with an inferiority complex or insecurity complex?
Bowling for Columbine doesn’t offer us solutions to our problems – it just look sat our problems… That itself might be part of the problem… If we have no framework of the alternative to what we know, there is no reason to look at an alternative. Of course, the alternative to owning a gun is to go with out – scratch one. Then there is the idea of having to have a license and knowledge of how to handle a fire arm to own one… The NRA would never go for that (even though the only thing it is doing is making sure gun owners are EDUCATED). Scratch two.
More of the same is the other alternative that comes to mind and hope society changes it’s ways. Ha! Like that will happen? Scratch three. :sad
Get a better Page(r) on things…
Let’s see how much of an entry I can write through my pager, shall we?
Oh, I’m not posting this through my pager but I am writing it on my pager, and then sending it to my email account and THEN copying it, pasting it, and posting it on Der Stonegauge.
As if I’d have nothing better to do with my time? :tongue
So here we are on Wednesday, I have an eye appointment in a little bit, seems my eye is infected and that is screwing up the works. But first and foremost? LUNCH…. Well, seeing it’s 2PM maybe this should be called something else? You know, sorta like “Snack time” like you had in Elementary School.
I’m heading to my first Lightning game of the season on Friday with Michelle. I would have gone sooner but I’m a gimp and climbing the risers would be tough. Michelle’s been bored out of her mind lately and her boyfriend is working so — good company and great hockey is what will be going on Friday.
“Not a date, definately not a date.” Vincent Vega, Pulp Fiction
Just another reason why Tarpon Springs High School Sucks….
I graduated East Lake High School in 1997 — I’m a proud Eagle alumni and I stand by my school…. Even if it’s among-student motto is “Where Eagles spread there wings and girls spread there legs.”
That being said, E.L.H.S. has a rival that I have always had problems with — not just because they were our sports rival, but quality of schooling and what not.
The rival happens to be Tarpon Springs High School — the venerable Spongers. (side note — Always felt cheeky about the SNL skit with the cheerleaders that had the East Lake Spartans, even though it isn’t a true combination of the two schools in question).
So what has lead me to write about my revilement for Tarpon Springs High School? There was a story in the local paper today about a TSHS student being suspended for circulating an anti-Confederate Flag petition. If you listen to the news, this story is starting to break in the mainstream (as I found when I did a Google Search on the story)… That being said, I relaly am sickened by the stupidity that surrounds this.
Back in High School, and Middle School for that matter, there had to be a dozen petitions that were circulated that were unofficial and not going to change what the school does or allows. No one got suspended over these things. Heck, they protested the Rodney King verdict at my middle school and all they did was make martyr’s out of the kids for standing up for what’s right.
I don’t believe Krista Abram’s was doing anything wrong. Nor do I think those who back southern pride by wearing a symbol of racism should be let off the hook for wearing the confederate flag on campus. I realize that some southerners wear the rebel flag and wave it with pride as a symbol of heritage and not hatred, but there has been too much hatred shown to African Americans since the Civil War to get away without being accused that the Rebel Flag isn’t a symbol of hate or cannot be interperted as one.
What also bothers me is that those who are so immersed in southern pride and southern heritage haven’t searched for an alternative symbol that they could wear or wave or show off… Something that shows pride but doesn’t have a malignant past,.
Tarpon Springs High School went out of there way to blow up this situation with Krista Abrams – they’ve effectively screwed the pooch by making an incident of this. Krista’s petition – with no offense intended towards her or her cause (which I gladly support) – would have waned and faded if it was allowed to circulate among students but not actually get anywhere (even if it did reach the school’s principle, it could have been said to her that there was nothing he could or would do). Instead? Tarpon Springs High School is now going to be under a racial microscope. Not just that, Krista may have hate brought upon her, those trying to express Southern Pride may have hate brought upon them as well…
The entire situation has become a powderkeg, thanks to the ignorance of the vice principle at Tarpon Springs High School, Wayne McKnight.
Still on Team Dean
*sigh* — oh the Humanity…
John F. Kerry might be grinning like a schoolboy and John Edwards might be giddy too because they both have found new life after the Iowa caucus, but at the same time I have seen the Democratic Party take a severe hit. Mr. Dead and Mr. Inexperienced have gotten their new life and the villain — Howard Dean — from the Media’s take, is all but over as a candidate.
And if that’s the case, expect four more years of George W. Bush as president of the United States.
Look, this might look like sour grapes to certain democrats who see Bush as someone who HAS to get thrown out of office, no matter who it is facing him in November…. But the fact is John Kerry can’t carry the Democratic Party to victory in November. That’s been the case since he’s planned on running for President. Head to head, Bush would fleece Kerry in a general election not because of politics alone, but sheer personality. You see, Kerry lacks a personality… He comes off dead in both his looks and his attempts to show he has some shred of character. Riding motorcycles just won’t cut it, he comes off like Al Gore did in 2000.
Then there’s the “more of the same” dilemma to boot.
Kerry and Edwards are members of a group of Democrats who have failed to win over the hearts and minds of Americans as they have sat on Capital Hill. Not only have they failed on that task, they’ve failed to stand up for principles and values that are supposedly things that define the Democratic party. The fact they both voted for the Iraq war — and Kerry twisting the logic behind his yes vote shows his desperation to change history — is just part of the reason why I cannot bring myself to vote for either of them come November. It’s philosophical but at the same time, it’s personal. I’ve seen them both slander the lead candidate and twist his words, I’ve seen them both act exactly the same (in a non-impressive fashion) when speaking publicly…. More of the same, more of the same…
:puke
I don’t want more of the same. That was part of the reason I didn’t vote for Gore in the 2000 election — more of the same would have been scandals and his own flip-flopping on issues when speaking in public. Flip flopping specifically to seem more like his opponent and appeal to the moderates who were trying to guess who they would vote for. I certainly don’t want a candidate who is concerned about polling numbers and demographics when he tries to plot out how he would lead the United States. I want someone who’s not afraid to go against the grain, speak his mind, show some balls and kick some ass…
John F. Kerry, Joesph Lieberman, John Edwards and Dennis Kucinich don’t show that character… Al Sharpton may, but unfortunately he is also on the fringe. Howard Dean has consistently showed this and despite his loss in Iowa, despite the repeated airplay of his terrible Iowa speech blow-up, and despite what the media is saying, I still believe in him. I still back him… And I will continue to back him.
Heck, if Kerry or Edwards got the party nomination, I would sooner write Howard Dean in as where my vote was going than vote for them.
I believe in Dean.
One might get upset or urge me to think about General Wesley Clark, and for the most part — I’ve been thinking about him more lately as an alternative if in fact Dean is somehow eliminated in the near future (while Clark continues)…. The only problem with Clark is that, while he is knew to Politics, he comes off as a puppet of his advisor’s. THAT is more of the same as well — the same being George Walker Bush, the grand puppet of his advisor’s will… That isn’t something that appeals to me.
Dean appeals to me as being his own man… Someone willing to stand up and say “That’s not right!” and pick a fight over the issue….
Something Kerry failed to do.
Something Edwards and Lieberman failed to do.
Something Kucinich goes a little too wacky with his alternatives….
Something Sharpton needs to hone a little more…
Something Clark’s stances on aren’t always clear….
Something leading me to remain adamant that Howard Brush Dean, Medical Doctor, Former Governor of Vermont, is the one who should be the Forty Fourth president of the United States.
Lunar-cy
The last few days have been really exciting with the NASA probe American Spirit arriving on Mars, landing on the Martian surface and sending back images… It’s the first successful mission to Mars (landing mission) since 1997 and a great accomplishment for the down-and-out NASA space program, which has seen setbacks and accidents over and over again for the last few years.
And now The Bush administration is using renewed public interest in the space program to help it’s 2004 re-election campaign.
George W. Bush is set to announce plans for Americans (or humans in general?) to return to the moon and establish a lunar colony…. Also, he will propose a manned mission to Mars. In exploration terms and in the excitement of the space program — this is outstanding. In terms of sound economics and sound politics – this is appalling.
Make no mistake, I am a firm believer in the space program and believe we should be trying to expand our reach in our own solar system. I’m all for going back tot he moon. I am in favor of trying to reach mars within the next 10 to 15 years… My problems lie with the backer of these new space missions: Money. Where is it going to come from? How much is it going to cost? How the hell are we going to pay for it?
You see, George W. Bush and those in power have cut taxes, preached more tax cuts, expanded government instead of stream-lined it, have two ongoing military missions costing billions of dollars a month, have an ongoing war with a terrorist network that further saps financial resources. We have failing schools, degrading infrastructure, rising domestic costs and yet… Bush proposes missions to space that will cost half a trillion dollars or more when it’s all said and done?
Please :rolleyes:
The US is in an economic crisis of sorts and we’re prepared to keep spending? That makes no sense. Bush will not be implementing any new taxes, nor will he propose a repeal of his tax cuts from the last 4 years… Instead? The national deficit will continue to grow and the national debt will balloon and — soon enough, if nothing stops it — tear down the very fabric of this great nation….
Economic responsibility is needed now or we’re all going to get it in the end…
Traditionless
I was flipping through the cable channels this evening and came across ESPNews, which was reporting a trade between the New York Knicks in the NBA and another team. I started thinking about the Knicks name, which is short for Knickerbockers, and how classy/traditional the name is in a sense that it just seems totally old school…
It then occured to me that any or every NBA player has to ask themselves what the hell a Knickerbocker is. They also probably wonder why the team is keeping such a lame name…
Welcome to the NBA.
You look at the other professional sport leagues and not only are names with non-modern/urban undertones in existence, but there are traditions stacked upon traditions in each league. The NHL has the hat trick — which leads to caps thrown onto the ice. Major League Baseball has the 7th Inning Stretch. The NFL has the coin flip, gatorade dousings and individual traditions (as do MLB and teh NHL) such as the Lambeau Leap and the Thanksgiving Day games involving the Cowboys and the Lions….
What does the NBA have?
The NBA has rapists, drug abusers, teenagers who skipped College for the money and shoe deals with Nike. The NBA has arrogance and individualism. The NBA tries to be one big highlight reel of slam dunks….
And people wonder why I don’t follow the sport?
While fans in Detroit are tossing Octopi onto the ice at Joe Louis Arena to celebrate a Red WIngs goal, and while Yankee fans are dancing to Rock and Roll Part Two (the Hey song) or YMCA between innings, NBA fans have mascots doing basketball tricks and players bitching at each other and making threats. While the Buccaneers have their pirate ship firing after a touchdown (a relatively new tradition), the NBA has gimmick slam dunks that everyone tries to imitate.
Michael Jordan is not the norm of the NBA — he’s just the most imitated player.
Poetic Meanings — just found out
You know, I was just going through something or other on the web and I came across a little factoid that just hit me a certain way that made me laugh and think at the same time about a poem I wrote a few years ago (song Poem) and how true the lyric is, in a sad way…
The song-poem was Java Jungle which I wrote at Palm Harbor’s “Java Jungle” coffee shop years ago when I was still very much a lyricist and poet. The song is just rambling verse that makes sense to me and probably me alone in some of it’s meanings but has a little niftiness to itself… if you can find the rhyme scheme and what could have been the beat or what the music could have turned into with the song…
At any rate, I’m going to post the lyrics now – then I will tell you more about that “ironic and funny” little meaning I didn’t intend that I just found out about…
Sally-man say:
“Who led the way,
“Across the Great Red Sea?”
Way back,
The long way back,
Back home
Tell Mom and Dad
That I’m going mad
Sitting here on the porch
Deep toking’ a dead roach
Fabulon
And Mickey and Brand,
Across the great land
Living at the center of life
Metropolitan life
Ju-Ju-Ju-Ju-Juniper chaos,
Had a little seance
To find her kindred soul
(Only she’d be so bold)
Cold hard wind, yeah
It’s stained with sin, yeah
Only known as the doldrums
The silence hums
Play on
Easter day
Saint Jude’s Parade
Lennon Lad,
Lennon Lad,
Lennon Lad
The kingdom’s your to have
Silence abounds
© 1997 John P. Fontana
So what’s the big deal? Well, I could break down the meaning of each stanza and verse to you but some of it is boring and some of it – as I already alluded to — should make sense only to me (Mickey and Brand across the great land, for instance, is a reference to friends of mine who used to come down to be with family here in Florida, I would see them every summer).
The lyric that I found funny is one of the closing lines… I talk about Easter Day and St. Jude’s Parade and then make a reference to “Lennon Lad”. This is all talking about Julian Lennon. “Jude” being direct reference to “Hey, Jude” which was written by Paul McCartney for Julian during the time John Lennon was divorcing Cynthia Lennon.
The entire line was actually supposed to be reference to St. Crispian’s Day, I believe I had seen Renaissance Man not very long before I had written this poem and I was very fond of Shakespeare at the time after a year of his works being passed on to me through Ms. Ciccone at East Lake High School.
Well, St. Jude got worked in there and the reference to Julian was made — “The kingdom’s yours to have” and silence abounds… That’s saying that Julian could have easily followed John Lennon’s footsteps and gone to the top of Rock and Roll but failed to do so… Of course, Julian is still involved with music and still battles demons involved with his father and his childhood… That being said, there are reason the kingdom was never entirely inherited by him or by Sean Ono Lennon for that matter.
The ironic – funny twist that I keep making reference to is St. Jude. I didn’t know who St., Jude was nor did I ever think to find out… I just threw the name out there for the rhyme and for the reference (Jude, Jules, Julian) and only recently (reading another Rick Reilly article) found out who St. Jude is:
The Patron Saint of Lost causes.
So, Lennon Lad, the kingdom may be yours to have but from what the Java Jungle tells you, it’s a lost cause trying to inherit it…
Signifying Nothing
“Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day to the last syllable of recorded time. And all our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out brief candle. Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.” The Tragedy of McBeth Act V, Scene V
I always loved this soliloquy after Ms. Ciccone at East Lake High School made us memorize it and recite it from the heart. It’s stayed with me these years but it was brought back to my mind only after a trip to http://www.blo.gs
Why did it come back? I don’t know… Why do I like it? Maybe I can see life like how MacBeth states it? It’s just a shadow, a poor player who struts his hour upon the stage and then is never heard again….
A Non-Happy Hallow-weenie
Oh you gotta love this shit…
CNN.com – Girls pummel man who exposed himself – Oct. 31, 2003
PHILADELPHIA, Pennsylvania (Reuters) — A man described by authorities as a known sexual predator was chased through the streets of South Philadelphia by an angry crowd of Catholic high school girls, who kicked and punched him after he was tackled by neighbors, police said Friday.
Catholic School Girls Gone Wild!!!! Kicking ass and taking names at a video store near you! Content is kid safe because, damnit, the Pope and the nuns at school wouldn’t look forward to it being any other way! :biggrin
Seriously though – i knew girls who had crazy bastards do this to them before – flash them and what not — and I like seeing a sexual predator like this get is come-uppance
Congratulations are in order
Holy Cow!
The Florida Marlins have won the National League Pennant! The first time since 1997 have they accomplished this feat…
Wow — I am just stunned… I mean, I went to school with a guy who was traded from the Marlins this summer. He’s gotta be kicking himself now…
Congratulations Miami fans…. THIS team doesn’t earn my wrath like the 1997 “Bought championship” team.
There’s so much I could say here and so much I won’t … Take that as you will…
Faith
I don’t know if I should be writing about this topic or not because I am not the best guy to go to when it comes to Faith in things. But at the same time I need to at least express my thought son the subject and my own search for it.
Now, what is faith? Faith is a sort of blind trusting of things, letting the chips fall where they may and trusting that they will fall in a way that is OK by you. At the same time Faith is believing that things are going to work out of the best and everything happens for a reason.
I know I have lived life faithless and in a lot of ways I continue to live life that way — think I am the only one in charge of my own destiny and can influence things that are out of my control. I wanted to do what i could in my power to show how much I cared. At other times, I’ve been left so alone that I felt as though no one in the world would put a heavy amount of trust in me, even though friends were laying emotions and thoughts on me. I was looking for someone — I didn’t know who or where or when — who would put some faith in me over things. Someone specific and yet someone I didn’t know.
Faith — I can thank my parents and then myself for abandoning the divine faith… I got out of the habit of going to church at a young age and that was the first seeds of doubt that were laid. When I went to church, I never understood why I was going… Or how I was supposed to pray (was it just wishing?), and I guess I didn’t have the faith then for God to go ahead and show me the way. Going to a religion class on weeknights was sort of the same thing – I was learning what they wanted me to learn but I wasn’t taking it all in and understanding what it was. Maybe I was too young? I like to think that with a lot of things that I started a year before most kids did. I didn’t skip a grade, it was that I started school a year early (pre school and then regular school) and that effected how I did things.
So where am I now with this Faith? In a lot of ways I am lost and yet I am trying to put my faith in some things again. It’s difficult because I want to be the one in control or do what I can to influence an outcome and yet I should show enough faith in people to realize that it’s their choice and their decision how things go and I know they have made the right decisions more times than not and I should trust their judgment. I don’t, however, want to express that faith in the government, who does things beyond my control and makes decisions that I do not endorse. I have control over my government and yet as a member of the US — I am dependent on others having a like mind on things. Instead of doing that, they show that blind faith more times than not and it’s not good for the world. Faith in religion and faith in government are two separate things.
Faith in people is entirely different and yet so much the same I can’t even comprehend.
Right now I need to show more faith than I ever have in this life and at the same time — my faith is really balancing on the edge of a blade. Part of me wants to believe that things happen for a reason and that they fall where they may because something leads to something else… (see Signs ) And yet at the same time, if things don’t work out a certain way, all faith might be lost. All beliefs that I should put faith in people’s hearts and their decisions will be thrown to the curb. I feel like a dick because of this – who am I to stand up and try to make my own personal wants what come to pass? At the same time, knowing how I would be (and this is a pun it would seem) faithful makes me really want to push because I don’t want anyone to lose out on something.
Faith — the faithless heathen that I am wants it, and the manipulative bastard that I am will only keep it if things work out a certain way. I’m sorry, God, that I’m like this. I’m sorry to the world that someone with a big heart can’t show trust in the way things will work out…
Small Town Clique
Hey..it’s Sarah again…I just need to blow some steam tonight, so I’m very greatful to John to allow me to write on here when I want. Thank you John. So…here’s my steam..
I spent my entire childhood and teen years dealing with cliques. There were the popular girls, the smart-suck-up girls, the drug addicts, and then there was my group…the somewhat unpopular people who stuck together because with out each other, we had no one.
In sixth grade I started hanging out wiht the smart-suck-up girls. It was the year from hell. I was the butt of the jokes, the one being laughed at, the one forced to sit at the other half of the table when there wasn’t room for everyone to sit on one half. I hated it, and it didn’t take me long to decide not to hang out with them anymore. I felt like shit though…because I had made fun of the people who were my friends before because I thought I was better..I had moved up in the chain of popularity. But I went back to this group, and never left them out again.
I hated the cliques of middle school, and they were still very prevalent my senior year of high school. The good thing was that we all started to get along in high school, because we left the petty things behind. I thought I’d be able to leave the pettiness and cliques of my home town in the dust and be able to form new relationships with many people…and hang out with them all, not having a clique of my own or others to worry about.
I was wrong. I went to lunch today with three girls from my floor…I hardly know two of them, but they are truly nice people, like the third girl that I’ve known since she moved in. One offered to get me a drink, another recommended trying a dessert…they were nice people that I didn’t expect to be nice people.
Then for dinner I went with three people who I know very well. My roommate, Katrina, and Jozie. My roommate and I get along pretty well, so I was thinking. We haven’t fought, nor has she shown any sign of a problem with me. Katrina’s ok…kind of judgemental as I’ve gathered. Then there’s Jozie, who I haven’t had a warm feeling from since I met her. She never seems to want to talk to me..and when she does talk to me, she’s always short and snappy. So I was the last to sit down to eat, and when I sat down they were talking about going somewhere tonight (last night since it’s after midnight now), and then the conversation stopped.
They talked about a lot of things, but didn’t really include me in the conversation..and when I tried to speak up, someone interrupted me…no one laughed if I said something that i expected would be funny. On the way back, they kind of asked each other if they were going to take showers and what not, and when we into the dorm (it’s about 50 steps to get inside) there’s two stair cases, the first goes only to the 1st level, and the second goes all the way down here. Katrina, Mary and I live on the lowest level. Jozie asked if they were coming to her room, and they all went. Feeling enough of a “third” wheel (though I was indeed the fourth person), I said I was going to go down here right away.
And off they went. I went into my friend Louise’s room to see what she was doing, and about 45 minutes later, went to my room to drop off my keys and id in the room. There’s Mary and Jozie all ready to go out… They never asked if I wanted to go..never acted like they wanted me to go…and I didn’t want to go with them anyway. Not after they had treated me like shit at dinner.
What pisses me off is that I’m going to be the one to hear all about it tomorrow (today…time thing), and how much fun they had…and frankly I want to rub their nose in it. That’s how I felt in 6th grade. And in 6th grade, I just changed my group of friends.
It’s not so easy to do, though, when you don’t have people around to catch your back when you fall…When you have no history with people and they already have their friends that they hang out with…
It really feels shitty…much like reliving 6th grade all over again.
Six Flags Water Park
I was healthy enough to go to the wonderful Six Flags St. Louis park today, so I woke up at 8 am to my stereo. The week before I moved in, there was a blackout because a transformer had a problem. Today they were fixing the problem, and they pre-warned us that the power would be out from 6 am until 11 am today. So thank God I put batteries in my stereo before I left home, just in case. Otherwise my roommate and I would have had to wake up to a cell phone alarm.
Also, my dorm happens to be in the basement, and for one reason or another, they never installed emergency lights. As soon as you walked into the hallway, the only light was the exit signs at either end. The bathroom had some light in it, luckily, because of the window. About 45 minutes later, my roommate and two other girls from my floor were ready to go. I was thinking about grabbing my jacket, but then I decided that I wouldn’t want to carry it with me if I didn’t need it.
That was a mistake.
We got on the bus and you could tell it had been raining all night, and it was sprinkling. The sky didn’t show any hope for clearing off, but we thought it would surely stop sometime during the day.
The park was great because there were no lines. We rode Mr. Freeze, Batman, a Scooby Doo ride (you had laser guns that you could shoot at targets while floating through this ride..and yes, it’s made for little kids), Ninja, The Boss, and some other little fair rides.
However, the rain never stopped. In fact, it began to downpour. I didn’t have a part of my body or a piece of clothing that was dry by noon, and we weren’t going to be picked up until 5. The rain stung your face when you were on any fast moving ride so opening your eyes was unthinkable. We decided at one point to try to get out of the rain and go to a show. It was so cold because of the air conditioning that we left before the show even started. So we stood. We stood and waited under awnings, we found a place selling hot chocolate, and then we stood there for probably a half hour. Occasionally I would go to the bathroom and wring my shirt out because it was so wet.
Then we heard that the park was closing at 3 instead of at 8pm. But wait, our bus wasn’t coming until 5! We wandered around, riding some other things for another hour until 3pm. We found a pay phone and called the coordinator for the trip–thank God two girls I was with remembered the number he dictated to us on the bus before we left.
He said he’d call the bus company for us and be sure that it got there early. It was already 3, though, and we were at least 40 minutes from our school. We didn’t expect the bus until 4. About 3:20, we were told by a security officer to go out to the pavilion where people purchase their parking passes and wait for our bus.
No more than ten minutes after we had been moved to the pavilion, the coordinator for the trip showed up. He couldn’t get hold of the bus company. The dispatcher wasn’t working or some B.S. like that. So we were stuck there until 4:30, freezing cold and soaking wet.
So, now that I’m feeling healthy again, I only hope that today doesn’t send me into another sick spell. I have to admit though, today wasn’t a total loss. I met some new people, got to ride every ride I wanted without a wait, and had some fun doing it all.
Lost that healthy feeling
I’m planning on going to Six Flags in St. Louis tomorrow and hopefully everything will go alright. If you look, there was no entry yesterday. The reason things might not work out for me going to Six Flags and the reason there was no entry happens to be the same. Yesterday I was miserably sick. Terrible sinus headaches, stuffy nose, sore, ichy throat, ichy eyes, and I can’t hear myself talk.
Last night I woke up at about 2:30, my roommate had just come home, and I couldn’t fall back asleep because my body ached and I started coughing. I ended up going and taking a really hot shower, trying to let the steam help me breath again.
When I first woke up this morning I wasn’t feeling nearly as bad. I still wish I were home in my bed…with a stove where I can make some soup…and lay on the couch and watch a tv where I know what channel corresponds to the number. I suppose I’m home sick, though, I think “at college and sick” defines it better. I’m about the only one who didn’t go home because they were sick. Everyone else’s parents picked them up or they drove home.
Anyway, I’ll most likely be laying in my bed all day again. Today I’ve got to try to do some kind of work…school work or just cleaning up…I’ll be bored to death if I don’t.
Beautiful Day
Ever have a day so wonderful you didn’t and couldn’t let go of it? Ever wish you could live it again and again? Prom was always one of those days for me..or the weekend of homecoming. The energy is so positive all around you, you get to dress up, and you feel so beautiful and important. Yesterday was one of those days for me. Except it didn’t start lovely..nothing that big even happened.
What started this awesome day was a workout at about 1:20 yesterday. I ran and walked with a friend from my floor for about an hour, and afterwards I was refreshed by a shower. It was a nice cool shower that washed the heat away. I pulled my hair back into a low, parted ponytail and finished up my writing for all of you in cyber space. I was nearly late (so I thought) for my Spanish class, but I got there plenty early.
Spanish class is so much fun for me…I love the sound of hearing any foreign language, especially Spanish. More importantly, I love to hear myself speak in Spanish when I’m having a good day with an accent. In class we talked about all kinds of things…boyfriends, girlfriends, painters, writers, books, heroes, and anything else that came up. It was all in Spanish. This was much like my Spanish classes at my high school. I came out of that class with a smile on my face, and suddenly this spark of energy and happiness that had no end. I hurried back to my dorm to share my happiness with everyone.
Many people couldn’t believe how peppy I was just because of my Spanish class. It was as if I were high on something (but I don’t do that sort of thing so believe me, I wasn’t). I smiled and laughed so much with my friends that my cheeks actually hurt. My roommate and I finally got to talking about ourselves a little deeper and now I see how much I really like her. Everything just seemed to click.
Last night I couldn’t sleep because I was still in such a good mood. Mary (my roommate) had the Dave Matthews and Tim Reynold’s Live at Luther CD and we were listening to that before we went to bed. The cd is completely laid back and awesome, exactly how I felt that day. Dave Matthews Band is my favorite one out there…if you’re a fan, let me know…we need to chat sometime.
Finally at 12:45 AM I had to draw things to a close. I had my 8 AM today and I needed to get some sleep. I only hope that today will be half of the day I had yesterday.
Der Long Ridge and contested "Affections"
So as I stated in a previous entry that I got assignment 3 back on Saturday. After pinning Sunday and writing my entry for Monday on and off during the day before publishing it Monday morning… Well, I got back in the saddle with writing. Not writing, per se but editing.
Assignment 4 is due to be 1000-2000 words and I thought that there were ways to achieve that without trying to write a story fresh from scratch… even though I have a few concepts jotted down in a notebook I now can’t find, and plenty of stories I started but never finished, saved to my computer.
Back to the topic — Assignment 4. I decided to take a stab at editing “Thank God for Arthur” down to within the parameters… I was intimidated when I started — Seeing the unedited version of the story is 2791 words… Trimming 791+ words looked to be a task.
And yet, after just two simple passes over the story — I’m down to 1980 words… Pretty hot shit! I think it could be submitted as is. I’ll go over it again before printing out a copy and trying to spot errors in that before throwing out my final copies for the class.
Tres cool, no?
Meanwhile, I was looking around late last night on Pif Magazine while pinning and trying to find a local magazine to submit an edited Assignment 3 to… I stumbled across a writing magazine called Glmmter Train and decided to take a risk — a 10 dollar risk — and submit my edited version of Assignment 2 to their Very Short Fiction contest with a handsome 1200 dollar first place prize. Then again, I don’t know if they’ll even consider a story under 1000 words :(.
Maybe it was wrong of me to just dive in without researching Glitter Train much… but the hell with it — what did I have to lose (besides 10 dollars)? What do I have to gain?
Choices
Choices are what defines our life and is an integral part of what drives us. Other’s choices have helped define you as a human being and helped form your habits. Your own choices have defined you up until this point in life – where you are reading this journal entry on a web site you chose to go to and you will choose if you will read beyond the end of this paragraph or if you will switch to a different web site on the World Wide Web (hell, you might have already).
Some choices bring you to joy and other choices bring you regret. Other’s choices can bring you to joy, or might make you regret that you dealt with them… Or perchance they will make you want to encourage them to make a better decision, a more thoughtful choice because the particular choice they are currently using going to end up hurting them.
You could look back at a relationship and say “Hey, it’s his / her loss” over the fact they chose another course over choosing you but at the same time – you’re most likely pinning in one way or another becasue you don’t want them to lose out on you, or in general.
It’s all about choices. Sometimes it’s not your own choice that forces you to live life in solitude but the choices of others — the choices they made to be part of the in crowd and how you wouldn’t be good for their image, or the choice you made to not associate yourself with this-or-that type of person because of some quality they have about them.
You’ll chose what you have to eat tonight, and what time you’ll go to bed — stay up and watch Letterman or maybe go to bed early to get a jump start on the new day? You’ll chose whether to sit back in your chair as you read this or shift side to side, or put your feet up on your desk while you read.
Choices, choices….
Do I take the blue pill or do I swallow the red? Do I make another movie quote here about a famous choice or do I go on with my ramble?
Some choices are made by fate, or by God or by whatever higher power is overseeing our lives. Disease, famine, drought, death, life – so it goes without saying that we have only so much we can control. Sometimes we just don’t want to control, sometimes we think control is an illusion… And then sometimes you realize your choices up until this moment made control look like an illusion, and you can’t get yourself back in control.
We’re all on the edge of sanity and sobriety in our lives and the choices we make put us on either side of that edge. Steven Tyler said it best when he sang, We can tell’em no, or we can let it go… but I’d rather leave it hanging on which is just leaving things flextible and open to decision at another time… It’s a choice I once found comfort in… Yet that was a time in the past, back in the days of high school and now I find myself making decisions because there is no more care free living. Not just that but leaving things wavering — for or against? Yes or no? Do or don’t? — often makes things worse than just getting them out of the way.
I’m surrounded by choices… They chide me, are snide to me, delight me and damn me all in the matter of a moment.
Choices… For you, for me, for society, for the world… Choices.
Swan Song — SING!
So me and Bill Erickson got to talking about things and I had been really concerned with some local news I had been reading concerning the state budget, local school budget cuts and the basic needs (assistant principles, aids for disabled students) being forced to be let go in an effort to meet the significantly tighter budget demands (all thanks to Tallahassee and their lack of willingness to raise taxes to fund education)….
Bill started telling me about his childhood days and how, after moving down here, he was years ahead of the public school children. The same was true for me, we got to rambling about elementary school and I had an memory from 3rd grade rear it’s head into my mind while talking about Ms. Webber (my 3rd grade teacher).
Singing “America the Beautiful” on the morning PA at Sylvain Avenue Elementary School in Blue Point, New York.
Oh man, I couldn’;t believe how I remembered the story so well. Some things come to you with clarity and some things come to you really weakly. This story started out with Ms. Webber getting done with the roll call very early on one morning and having me (and someone else, I think) take it down to the School Nurses office. I was walking real fast trying to make it before the announcements go tot to the Pledge of Allegience but didn’t make it. I started to recite the pledge while walking down the hall. The principle – Mr. White – pulled me into the office because I was being disrepectful by not looking at the flag or something like that (he wasn’t reprimanding me).
Anyway, so the pledge gets finished. We’re still in the office, and immediately after the Pledge they would play a tape of America the Beautiful – which they did. I sang along to it like I always did in class and everyone in the office started looking at me (not kids – the teachers, principle, secretaries, etc). I got finished and Mr. White remarked “Beautiful.” I don’t remember the exact things that happened right after that but they wanted my name and my teacher.
So a couple of mornings later, I had gotten to school and was sitting in class about a few minutes before the morning announcements and the PA came on requesting me to go down to the front office. The class all went “Ooooooooooooh” as third graders would when they thought someone was in trouble. I got up and left. I can’t too clearly if I knew why I was going down there or if I was nervous because maybe I was in trouble? Now that I think about it – I did know what was going on.
I got down there and I sang “America the Beautiful” on the PA. Just like I usually did it in class (though in class I would sing it to myself, not real loudly).
After I got threw, I went back to class… Now, I didn’t enjoy Ms. Webber so much (and if by any chance and elder Ms. Webber finds this journal entry — it wasn’t you that I didn’t enjoy. It was the fact that my parents didn’t deal with me in the proper way when I brought home a notice from your class that I was in trouble. I think I might have been a year too young to be in 3rd grade as well and not focused enough) but on this day I think she had told the kids in class to react when I got back… And they did. I got applauded by them. I hadn’t expected it and it was a real plus.
I had done it a few more times after that. Then they had other people start doing it and it lost it’s mystique. It was real cool for a time though.
Anyway, my friend Kari from the University of Tampa is going to be heading over here soon and we’re going to go out and get her car title and just hang out for a while. Don’t know what is going to go on but I’m sure we’ll find something – and that’s got me worried.
Worlds Of Wonder
I’m writing this entry through Notepad right now because I’m not able to access my web site and update it — damn Digital Zones, fix the fucking thing already! (UPDATE — 8:41 PM as I write this and they are STILL down!
UPDATE 2 — 5:57 Tuesday — FINALLY back up and running )
I’m not feeling so great right now because my chest feels like it’s exploding… Every time I make progress with moving on, I regress a few hours later because of one thing or another. Hmphf, go figure.
I didn’t update things yesterday (insert shocked expression here) because I was waiting for something – anything – online and instead of that happening, I took some allergy medicine after I started feeling very ill and was stoned/out by 10 PM. Seeing I’ve been getting up extremely early and not getting to sleep until 3 lately, it probably was a good thing that I hit the sheets a bit early.
Yesterday I spent the early part of the day sunning myself at the neighborhood pool (that’s telling you how bad the condition of my own pool/porch are) and got righteously burnt with grotesque burn lines from my tank top to prove it. Something tells me that I am going to have to start remembering to use tanning oil :p .
On the way back from the pool I started wondering about some people that were part of my past and if I should bring them up here on the site — knowing that the Search Engines will end up crawling this page and their names will be indexed and they will be able to find this page (them or their relatives ) and realize someone who they may or may not remember was speaking about them and may or may not want to hear from me in the first place.
This is sort of a collective Where Are They Now but without the glory and gifts for those who take part in the program.
Let’s start with the one who lived closest to me who disappeared when 1) she graduated and 2) her mom left her step dad who still lives down the block from me: Lisa LaCasse. Lisa and me were in the same school from 5th grade onward and the last memory that shines through it all is me being a dick and giving her a “body glove” without thinking about her having whip-lash (senior year of HS). If it makes you feel any better, Lisa, I had a neck operation last year and I went through the same hell you experienced. It’s also worth bringing up that there were plenty of rumors (ok, not so much rumors as your sister and her friends screaming it at me when I rode down the block one time) that you had a crush on me at one point or another — it was probably for the best that nothing ever materialized with that because A) I was a coward at the time and B) I was insecure and both affected how I dealt with girls I met.
Next girl who I need to bring up is someone who I admittedly had an interest in during HS at one point but things got torn apart after we moved up from 11th grade — Jen Wertenberger (which I probably spelled wrong . I haven’t seen hide nor hair of Jen since — I can’t even remember. I did see her friends at Target one time and thought she might be with them but I didn’t see her if she was. Jen was a good friend and I was a smart ass and a dick when I was hanging out with her, and the same insecure coward I talked about above.
Now, the next name on the list is one that my friends hear one time or another usually when I confess my past and I am arguing with myself whether to mention her here or not… Ok, I’ll do it: Jill Clawser. There, I said it… Someone lock me up! I was so obsessed with Jill during 10th grade and much of HS but I was so scared to step forward and so insecure to tell her how I felt… Probably for the best, of course, everything happens for a reason or so I once was told by a very wise person. Jill dropped out from HS her senior year, I saw her a few times at Spencer’s Gifts and one time at Target on a passing chance but then – nothing. I had a web page up in my Pictures section asking “Where are they now” and her aunt came across the picture — ma’am, if you find this, I was sort of terrified someone actually responded to the inquiry about Jill and I didn’t know how to tell you that I can’t hear so well so I couldn’t use the phone and call her if you got her number.
There’s someone else I was close to online that has disappeared entirely because I know her life went in a different direction than mine and was always a good bit different than mine, she was someone I needed in my life as my friend in a very trying time in my life (right after I went deaf) and I value her being there for me till this day. Tiffany O’Neal of Jackson, Mississippi. Me and Tiff used to talk on AOL and later on AOL IM for hours every morning before she went to school… I got to know her and her friends that she lived with, Jill Brown and Thomas Hood. I’m wondering what-up with all of you? Last thing I heard from Jill was that Tiffany had entered the Navy? Maybe, maybe not… I can’t be certain. It was so long ago….
Memories…. from the corner of my mind….
Of course I could post about other people in here that I used to be interested in or friends with but it’s for the best that I don’t. Besides, this feels like I have been rambling for hours even though it might have been only 10 minutes. I’m much calmer than I was when I started this thing.
I’m really getting antsy though — I want access to my web site back so I can get this update up!
Oh yeah, kiddies, I’m getting Mike’s kick ass computer system as he is getting a new machine any day/hour/minute/second now…. I’ve cleaned out most of my files/pictures/movies/applications on this system so far and am ready to just format the hard drive and re-install XP before I venture off into my new machine….
* Time entry was written
Heavenly Shades of Bombs are Falling / Limbo Time!
I don’t get on people for being spoiled very much – though I think of myself as spoiled in a lot of ways… That’s helped along mostly because I am a pain in the ass and I act like a pain in the ass until I get my way… (current situations are proof positive). There are only a few times where I complain about others being spoiled and I happened upon one of them tonight.
Now, one of my friends goes to private school and they are approaching Spring Break rather fast now. Their private school has a trip set up for the senior class — a trip to Hungary — for Spring Break. That’s quite a senior trip now, ain’t it? I didn’t have one going to public school – I don’t recall anything as special offered from the school to the students.
Now there’s a little situation in Iraq, maybe you heard of it? :rolleyes Just like 9-11, things got changed by that little situation and the trip quote may endquote be off for these kids. Lets see – international crisis that we get to watch through the TV, Europeans and the rest of the world tiring of US arrogance in dealing with the rest of the world, anti-American sentiment spreading… Hmmm, do you think it’s time to cancel that trip to Hungary for safety sake?
So my friend is upset that the trip quote may endquote because of this slight situation in Iraq. I got upset at my friend because they seemed to be oblivious to the situation at hand. I think a lot of Americans are – we have the luxury of being in homes that are wired to the core and news stations beaming us the latest briefings and updates – they also have been avoiding showing us much of the anti-American sentiment abroad and the censors, of course, have also done there job of preventing that from coming to light…. It appears safe from our side of the pond but is it safe?
Going to Europe right now for anyone is a risky proposition and canceling this trip for safety sake is needed. I know it’s a class trip, but it’s really just a HS class trip. There have been plenty of other events in HS that were enjoyed with the senior class. Getting upset over this trip being nixed, though understandable, seems kind of pompous and arrogant and dismissive of the dangers that lurk out there right now and the risk…
Changing subjects I’m in limbo still and I’m feeling better than I have in a while – I’m also in need of some cash more than I have been in a while… I don’t know if I am going to keep feeling ok the next few days/weeks but I do need to find something to do to cover costs. Unfortunately I’m a bit picky at what I do and I’m also a bit clueless as to where to look – where should a hearing impaired guy go to find work? I lucked out with Target back in October when they hired me, but that was just before the busiest season of shopping… There are certain jobs that I think of as “beneath me” but at the same time I don’t even know how long I would be at any given job before …. snip snip.
As for the war – I’m getting sick of all the coverage and how much attention me and my family are paying it. It’s like watching a car wreck – you can’t turn away.
Nothing to see here, please disperse
The Dodger Boy is back again with yet another epic tale of sausages having their way with your intestines….
Yes, it’s another journal entry. Feel free to move on to the new web page that actually provides content besides my daily life…..
……
What? You’re still here? Shame on you! :smile
So I have a full work week in front of me — which is sort of cool and sort of bothersome… Bothersome because Bill quit Target in a hissy fit and I feel like I am getting —
Getting ahead of myself with negative thoughts. BAD BAD BAD. I want to have this job and I need this job and I need something to do every day instead of sitting at home on my ass in front of the computer, waiting for Bill to tell me another story about his niece Jillian and her life sus-far, or about his dog Bradley becoming Ernie-the-Hound-dog’s bitch….
Then again, I could also write. I started working on a story again that I started pre-9-11…. 9-10-01 to be exact. I had plans to finish it the next day but you know how that went…
I also had thoughts about a cool concept business that I do not have the capital to start up. I like the concept that I pieced together but I don’t know if it would work or not. Basically it’s a charter van that drives between downtown Tampa and a fixed location (locations? plural?) in Pinellas County. It can be used to commute to downtown Tampa or as a way to get to St. Pete Times Forum and other venues nearby. I figure it can be hired out by retirement homes and local associations (or schools?) to shuttle people around to fixed areas too….
At a flat cost compared to a Cab, though.
Meanwhile, I want to make note that Tampa/St. Pete is the second worst metro region for Pedestrians in the US of A…. How many times have I found this out to be the truth in person? :sad
Comments
A lot of people might be noticing and wondering why most of the comment sections aren’t open on some of my posts on here lately. The reason isn’t because I don’t want to hear from people — though I have to be honest, you kids bragging about High School Football is something I can live without. It’s because of SPAM. Lots of spam. Spam spam spam spam spam eggs and spam… Without the comments, there is less of an opportunity for spammers to spam.
Yes, those who are on MT will tell me to use the MT blacklist… I already have it in place. Still, I’d like another anti-spam buffer I guess. Either I stick with this or perchance I convert to WordPress and fight spam through that. Oh well.