Tag: internet
Where the money is coming from
While it isn’t an FEC filing, it is rather telling to see how certain Democratic presidential candidates are doing with online fundraising through ActBlue. Actblue, for the uninitiated, is a Democratic clearinghouse that takes donations for all National Democratic candidates (and some state ones as well). While it isn’t anything more than another fundraising source, it also represents the people and the Netroots.
John Edwards leads the charge, having been in campaign mode since the end of the John Kerry campaign… He’s earned over a million dollars through the Act Blue service. Bill Richardson – also a long time suspected candidate — is next on the list with 288 thousand dollars to his name.
Wes Clark, Howard Dean, Al Gore — all undeclared or just flat out not running — have a few thousand to their name… And while Mike Gravel and Chris Dodd are the ones who are oh-fer ActBlue, it’s Hillary Clinton’s numbers that should send a message to people…
Hillary, who keeps getting named the front runner because of her recognizability (or her last name) has earned $81. Eighty One dollars.
There are pundits on the right who think Democrats are clamoring for HRC to be the nominee, and there are media pundits who think Hillary is a shoe in… Yet if the Internet community — the activists who are vocal online — aren’t showing their support financially for Hillary, then why are they going to show their support with their votes for her next year during the primaries?
Just saying. It’s known Hillary is not big with the online community, but she still is the big name in the field unless Al Gore were to enter the fray (which I don’t think will happen, sadly).
Wire(d)less
My annual forray to the West Coast is approaching fast. Yep, it’s been a year since I went to Los Angeles last and I’ll be heading back to the City of Night in early October. While the schedule is nothing I haven’t done before (Tampa to Dallas to LA and back again in 4 days, same hotel that I’ve stayed in the last 2 years) there is a bothersome logistics problem I need to solve between now and my departure date.
Basically it’s some form of communications between LA and home.
For the first time since 2001, I need to stay connected with things back home. Certain groups and parties are counting on the ability to get-in-touch with me so I can do some work while away from the Bay area. That’s good, that’s fine. This isn’t a vacation after all. Also I need to stay in touch with family so I don’t show up on a milk carton if no one hears from me in 12 hours or more (yeah, the fam gets frantic if I don’t stay in touch).
So what are my choices?
I’ve looked at older laptop computers being resold on Ebay and by Dell itself as a possible solution — though my hotel doesn’t offer Wireless access, nor are their dataport connections free. I’ve been casually looking at the Danger Sidekick 2 – which would give me both IM and Internet access while on the go — but I’m not so keen on the huge purchase costs as well as a nice large monthly fee to keep the thing usable.
My Ogo is a joke — barely holds a charge, and I canceled the account anyway. Most other IM devices are extra costly…
I’m in a land of wonderment, without much cash to throw around and solve my dilemna.
Sports MEdia Whoring
The NFL Draft begins todays and like usual there is a wide net of coverage all over the Internet and throughout the media…
The St. Petersburg Times introduced their city editor as a blogger — Kevin McGeeve — to help cover the draft… That or to increase online readership?
McGreeve points to a couple of Times articles by staff writers and neglects several things that make bloggers different from traditional print media. One of those things is relying on a derth of sources, personal opinions and holding people’s attention.
While I continue to monitor the blog and see if there are any updates, I can’t help but agree with someone who commented on Kevin’s first post — Why is anyone showing up at this blog? There is better coverage at ESPN.com or on another media site. McGreeve hasn’t really blogged anything worth reading. Maybe that will change today. We’ll see.
Movie Trivia – round one
OK, I want to try to do a weekly thing that will at least keep me from being entirely bored with der Stonegauge…. It’s soemthign that I usually reserve for Internet Message boards and the like. So I figure it can’t hurt to try it here on the site.
OK, what will happen is eithe ri post a quote or a question concerning films. Just answer the question and presto. You can eithe rask me a question to follow up or you can post a quote and ask me what movie it’s from.
Anyone willing to play? I’ll make the first one easy:
What was the phrase that is inscribed in black-speech on the One Ring in Lord of the Rings?
OK, I'll try to give this another shot
OK so I pissed off Melanie because I shut down der Stonegauge seemingly….
I also got a stern talking to from my comrade-in-blogs Tommy….
So maybe I will keep on typing? I mean, what’s the worst that can happen? I bore you? Of course I bore you – you’re on the Internet and that means you are already bored for crissakes… If I was an excuse for you not to be bored, i got news for you….
😉
I’m going to go one post at a time for a while and see how it goes… Maybe I will go back to the multi-bullshti posting in a bit… THat is if I can get the spark behind the Stonegauge once again.
The more times change, the more they stay the same…
&You know I used to work on the Internet for a Dot-Com pre dot-bomb (I would link to my former employer but alas — the Wayback Machine doesn’t have a good copy of the site in their history) and I used to hate sitting around and waiting on people to respond to email, waiting for search engines to index pages I make, or try to stay busy finding ways to beat the system.
Certain sites are reminding me of how I hate waiting. How I loath not being able to jump in and do the job when I learn how to do it….
Debate Bushism's
First, there was a country….
Then there was a singular turned into a plural…
George W. Bush — single handedly keeping Drinking-Games alive with the slip of the tongue…
Talk
I usually start off my posts with titles — sometimes they come to me immediately and set the tone for posts, sometimes they are terrible titles for posts because they have nothing to do with them, and other times they are dead on. Right now I have no title at all in mind or every title I think of contradicts what I was going to talk about.
I was going over the site web logs – just sometime I do from time to time to see who is linked to Der Stonegauge or other sites I am in control of. I’ve been catching a lot of people who’ve been siphoning graphics lately, for example. I also check those logs for search phrases that are used on the Internet that leads people to this site. Sometimes they are strange terms, sometimes they are relevant because I have posts using those titles, sometimes they are explicitly (because I use 4 letter words in posts and other posts just happen to have the matching second keyword that some pervert typed into a Search Engine) and then some terms come out of the blue.
Here’s the one that made me do a double take:
he doesn’t want to talk to me
It got me thinking… It got me wondering…. Of course, I have no phrase use on the site that even comes close to that, and of course I have no clue who went on the Internet, typed that key-phrase on a certain Search Engine and got this site as a result, but it just jarred me a bit.
So I’ll humor myself here by just typing out why it may seem like “he doesn’t want to talk to me” to this person… And what the truth may be on why “he” seems the way he is.
Read More
It's getting ugly here
Dear god, I hate all the empty space that is showing up on The Stonegauge lately… It’s not like I’m spread thin on he Internet or anything, it’s just that I haven’t wanted to rant about anything that I could rant about. I mean, really, how many times have I already stated what a sham Iraq was? Or how incompetent / dirty the Bush administration comes off? It’s like shooting fish in a barrel to be honest with you.
I have been parlaying a lot of time toward my new online endeavor along with trying to help out the search engine placement for Rocheleau Cabinetry… Building an online community is tough but with the amount of downtime i have, it should be no problem. There is a problem however and that is trying to bring in people who already have message board communities and cliques of their own that they don’t want to abandon. I’m not much one for spamming but I am on for recruitment of smart people.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch, it’s cloudy and rainy here in Florida. I don’t think it’s anything close to what people up north have dealt with lately but it’s miserable. You can’t believe how humid it is to boot. That makes it even worse.
Speaking of weather, how come it’s so friggin’ impossible to find the Tropical Update on Weather.com? It’s only a glut of people who need to know what’s brewing out in the tropics that could lead to potential hazards. Not like that’s important… :rolleyes
Re-adjusting
It’s always tough to change a habit…. but in these times, you just have to do it…
I am talking about switching from Internet Explorer to Netscape…
With the threat of attack or exploiting IE that has been all through the news, I figured it was best I go about changing web browsers for the time being. I’m not even sure if Netscape 7.1 is that safe either but I am using it as my default browser now and it’s going to take some getting used to clicking on NETSCAPE instead of the little Internet Explorer Icon.
Are Blogs part of the reason America is polarized?
Just a thought here —
You can come across many a left-leaning blog on the Internet, putting down the President, talking the Truths to the war, hatching conspiracy theories on Joe Wilson and his wife’s outing, etc….
But you can also find havens of Anne Coulter loving bloggers who think all the Left is doing online is lying and the Great George W. Bush is the lord and savior incarnate…. Instead of getting a clear political picture, you get no-man’s land when you try to find a moderate footing on the issues – that Iraq is a bad situation, that monetary focus would be better here in the States than abroad, that the Democrats have done little to try to moderate issues and have been weak willed in dealing with them.
Or maybe it’s the fact that moderates are slandered as either Democrats or Republicans when they don’t always agree with party lines?
Suffice it to say – I think blogs are just helping continue the polarization of America, but are a necessary evil in spreading both information and unique thoughts and debate…
Finally!
Finally! After years of research, our experts have found a word to define WTF in Internet speak!
Interestion!
Yes, Interestion…. A mix of Interesting and questioning all in one… WTF brought this on? A little birdie told me… Chirp, Chirp, Iggy, Iggy, Iggy… Chirp Chirp… :biggrin
interestion
in-tar-est-ion. v. — The art of “WTF”. Interesting and questioning all at once.
Usage: Keith thought things were in a state of interestion when he was banned from the message board for two weeks. :wink
Dependence
I admit it, I am a junkie. A total, dyed-in-wool junkie…
I want my walker fix, I need my assistive walker fix! If I don’t have my fix, I go crazy! I have a difficult time doing routine things like, well, walking! I need to lean! I want to lean! I want your support walker! UGH!
Seriously though, folks, being a gimp as my medical posts have so often referenced, I’ve been using a walker since last August and I’m starting to get peeved I am still dependent on it. Oh no, it’s not because I physically can’t walk without it any more… It’s that… Well, I can’t LET myself walk without it. It becomes so difficult!
I looked around the Internet and I couldn’t find anything on the psychological dependence patients build towards assistive devices in case they are using them for a long time. I’ve been confident that exists for a very long time after seeing plenty of elderly people, after surgery, insist on continuing to use assistive devices that they no longer need. It’s easier that way. I have to agree with them but at the same time — I’m a 24 year old and walking around as a gimp without something to lean on kills my social life.
Friend: “So, you wanna hang out?”
Me: “Sure, just make sure you drop me off curb side because the pavement is cracked in front of the building. Also help me get to my seat — screw chivalry! — I look like a fool pushing this aluminum walking thing around.”
Fun stuff :rolleyes
SO I gotta try to kick the habit. Be that by upgrading to a cane and making it Swing or by just getting rid of the walker and forcing myself to walk without it. Easier said than don, either way.
'Texted' Out
Damn you Metrocall / Weblink Wireless!!!
I start a conversation with my friend Michelle around 5 PM on Friday through my text messenger. “Hey Hey” with Michelle’s standard “Howdy” response.
Well, after that Howdy from my AFI loving friend, I couldn’t send nor receive messages from anyone on a cellphone all weekend long (still the case at 11 PM Sunday). I was able to receive email like normal, I was able to get messages from the Internet, I was even able to set up getting messages from my scarcely used AOL account on the pager but I couldn’t do text messaging with Cellphone users. Bummer to be left out of touch with friends like that. It made me want to replace my pager with something like the Sidekick… Oh well. 🙁
All Networked Up
I am as happy as a pig in shit right now. For a couple of reasons but first and foremost — because I just solved a bane of my existence.
I paid $160 bucks or close to it for 2 pieces of a WiFi Network — A Router and a Network Adapter — from Linksys. Not bad seeing I could have paid much much more but still a ton of cash at the time.
So I set up the router and then I go down to my father’s computer — mind you this is a few months ago — and I hook up the Network adapter and…
Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Bupkus. Didley Squat. Etc. (thank you Juliane Moore, your Slang Dictionary reading character Electra inspires my alternative words for nothing)
The thing wouldn’t connect to the Internet / the Wi Fi Network. The signal strength could be anywhere from 60-100 percent and nothing was going on. It frustrated the hell out of me to try, try, try, try and have every possible re-configuration amount to shit. Nothing worked. In fact, sometimes when it seemed like it was working – the computer would lock up and you would have to reboot.
I disconnected the router, disconnected the network adapter and wrapped them up and filed them away for a month or two… Which leads me to yesterday and today.
Yesterday my father is talking about going to Verizon DSL service. Now, my father isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer to go along with his other things that piss me off. He talks about Verizon offering a deal to connect ALL of your computers to DSL Internet access for “one low monthly fee” — his exact words, I swear….
I go to Verizon’s site and no where do they offer to hook each individual computer up to DSL Internet Access for one low fee. They offer Fee access the first month, 29.95 for the next two months and 34.99 each following month.
Per – Computer – Connection.
I tell my father this and he doesn’t believe me – he believes the radio ad he heard in his car. I get pissed off and prove him wrong, and show him that not only does Verizon want to get you to use their Internet access but to wire your computers all to the Internet, you have to invest in their own home networking offer as well as the DSL connection.
Ronnie got pissy at this and I got pissed off as well.
So today with my ample spare time I vow to solve this bullshit of the anti-networking WiFi network. I hook up the router again and configure it. I then hook up the network adapter to his computer. Nothing. I am running upstairs and downstairs for 2 hours trying to get this thing to work. Nada…
And then? What happens? I decide to change one frigging’ setting — installing one extra thing that Linksys’ software didn’t automatically install.
POOF — I connect to the Internet on my fathers computer, using my own broadband connection upstairs..
So my Sunday has been eventful. My weekend has been eventful for that matter. I’ll post further about this soon enough but for right now — i will just :woot and end this story
Note to Internet Chatters
You CANNOT hold a conversation by having “Hi”, “N/M J/C” and “Hello?!!” as your entire vocabulary online. If you can’t hold a conversation or won’t try to talk to someone, you are better off either in a chat room or just offline, period.
The Theory
You ever realize how much more likely it is for a person to come online and treat others like total shit and act like assholes? You get it on message boards, you get it on web sites, you get it in journals, you get it in chat room, you get it from web cams and the like — I’ve seen it all…
Gabe and Tycho posted another strip up that displays just what I am talking about.. Simple and straight forwards and scarily accurate.
I’ve heard from my female friends old and new about guys and how they wills tart off conversations with women on here — and it just surprises the hell out of me but like the cartoon says, the anonymity gives a great reason to try it — you can get away with it and might even get lucky with some kinky conversation.
And I’ve experienced it first hand with a few who are more, shall we say, sexually open who follow the “Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory” to a T.
The Internet Fuckwad – it’s what America is doing online.
After a week
So it’s been seven days since I was discharged from the Hospital. It’s funny I posted about “falling off the internet” last night because I haven’t heard from a lot of people I contacted about being under the weather / in the hospital again. Hmmphf, figures right? Find out who your true friends are…
Blash, tha twas mean spirited but at the same time, it does hold some water.
At any rate, how am I progressing? Am I doing better? Yes. In some lights. I am showing a lot of strength and a lot of other functions that were failing before the operation. On another side of things, my balance seems a little more screwed up. i don’t have the confidence to do certain easy-activities because I feel like I will fall or something like that. Gotta work on it.
Long road in front of me — a long road indeed but I am happy to be journeying down it once again instead of sitting around, feeling like I am in a car always stuck in Neutral.
Falling off the Internet
Is it just me or is conversation dead on the Internet?
I am trying to find people to chat with and unfortunately it doesn’t seem like Trillian is fostering much hope. I am not getting people from Yahoo or AOL IM or any other program dropping me lines like they used to.
Of course, they probably all have lives or I seem a little too intense for anyone to have a discussion with… but at the same time, it’s depressing just not having some stranger at least attempt a conversation that goes nowhere.
stranger: Hey, A/S/
Me: Um, 24/M/Florida
Stranger: Cool
Me: Uh thanks….
Me: You going to say anything else?
Me: This thing on?
:tongue
Mi Dia
Bill Erickson’s niece, Emma Christine (don’t know her last name) was born around 1 PM EDT this afternoon. I don’t know all the stats but I will post them when I have them.
An hour later, my neighbor since I moved into my current residence, Mila, passed away at 83… She’s been through some real hardships the last 14 years and plenty more before we ever moved in. It will be strange living in a world without her
I’ve just found out my Aunt will be on MSNBC on December 4th… Certainly something I would like others to see but as far as I know, things will fall apart worse before then…
This goes without saying a lot about me – as I would think that most of my journal entries have lately — they’ve made brief mentions about things going on on the Internet or perchance other opinions I have but not really talked about me. It’s assumed that I am doing fine if anyone at all is wondering how I am doing. Certainly my writing is a little more to-the-point yet short and meaningless if you really think about it. There have been a few cases where my posts have had a meaning and those who needed to know the meaning got it, unfortunately it just continued to put things in a bad light because I let emotions get to me by posting that in the first place…
At any rate, what is new with me? Besides writing, there isn’t much. I saw Doc Smith this morning and had a wheel chair prescribed to me. I’ve also had my mother bullshit me with regards to moving downstairs — into the windowless living room of the house and having an “apartment” int eh home. Why are we talking this? Because I need another operation and scheduling it is only being put off by my worries of life without legs/being wheelchair bound until further notice.
I started talking about moving out — It’d be simpler than the bullshit idea of converting a dark room into a bedroom apartment.
Personally I am right back where I was in… say, April and May 2002 when it comes to dealing with people I meet on line — they all turn out to be shallow. You might make someone laugh but they will ditch you if they see a picture they don’t like.
*sigh* Memories from the corner of my mind – when that stuff didn’t matter with a few people I met on here..
Emma Christine’s birthday present looks more and more like a Buccaneer win… Reminding me of something that happened 24 years ago tomorrow with the Giants beating the 5-0 Bucs (my father is a Giants fan). Wonder what tomorrow has in store for me if anything? Besides a Total Recall….
Just Dean-dy
I’ll try to get another entry in before midnight but I make no promises. My day has been short and mostly uneventful sans medical problems and conversations…
I wanted to spread The Word. No, John still hasn’t found religion or Faith (note to self – that is what you should write about later, faith) but something more important (he he) for the United States in General:
I’m talking Howard Dean.
Some of you may or may not know that I fully support Doctor Howard Dean, former Governor of Vermont, for President of the United States. .The questions that might come to ones mind over this range from:
“Don’t you have anything better to do?”
“Howard Who?”
“Get a haircut you god damned hippie!”
“John, you were awfully negative with the first three quotes, can you lighten up?”
” What’s wrong with the guy in office now?”
“What’s wrong with these other candidates?”
“Why do you care now, months away from the first primaries?”
Well, to forgo some of the silly questions — I care now about the guys who are running for president because i6t’s important to have the strongest candidate to face George W. Bush for the sake of this nation. Getting involved now and latching on to the guy who has come out as the best candidate is what I have done — I’ve been on-board with Dean since early this summer.
What’s wrong with the other candidates? Well, unless you haven’t been paying attention (and most Americans haven’t), there is no passion from most of the Presidential candidates. John Kerry — US Senator – reminds me of a ghost even though he has credentials and an aristocrat background that might get him far. Almost all the candidates were pro-Iraqi-War while Bob Graham and Dean were against it from the get go. Guys like AL Sharpton, Caroline Mosely-Braun and Dennis Kucinech
But what makes Dean special, you ask? There’s just something with the Doctor that makes me think America can get back to where it was before Dubya screwed it up – making us a tyrant of the world (note – we’ve been tyrants for a lot longer than the Bush administration, but its been more acute under this regime). I believe Howard Dean can both resurrect the failed US economy, stop the corporate insanity as well as improve life for citizens across the country much better than anyone else.
Want to find out more? If you are on the Internet — it’s the greatest place to find out about Howard Dean. Seeing you are on my web site – you have got to be on the Internet so — hot shit! You can find out more! Check out Blog for America for reports from the Dean campaign itself.
Going to cut this short – talking to old friends.
Internet Boogie
So anyway….
I’ve been finishing going over assignment 4 and I actually killed off the happy-ending for the sake of the plot twist. Not so much a plot twist but a more realistic ending. If I had 2500 words or more, I probably would have further gone into things but alas – 2000 words is the limit and I’ll stay under it, thank you very much.
Meanwhile, I’ve been over at Blog for America and doing my regular political shuffle over at Kill the Web the past few days… Pretty often in fact… All of this and I’ve also been over at DeanFilter.com trying to add news bits here and there. I could use some help to be honest, because I don’t think I’m keeping things news-worthy….
Then again, I could also invest more time in this stuff… I proposed to Toe that it would be beneficial if I started coming up with some heavy political satire to go along with his outrageous and much loved/detested Gwbush04.com web site. I mean, just LOOK at this beautiful stuff he’s writing on his own…
Makes you wanna join the party, don’t it??
At any rate, I need to get my shit together and send out assignment 4… Also calling Doctor Smith’s office is going to be a necessity if I can’t find out some details about surgery or get in touch over the web…
Three Hundred and Sixty-Five Days
It was a year ago today that J.P. Fontana got some press today
And though he is pretty much out of style, he tries his best to raise a smile
I got up this morning and was reading the paper – Sunday edition of the St. Petersburg Times — like I normally would when it hit me that it was this Sunday last year that I got a little press over a situation that was going on with me and Apple Corp. LTD.
I’ve been making mention of it being a year later and they can’t quite believe it’s been a year since that happened. Hell, neither can I. I’m trying to think back a year ago and in a lot of ways I think I was better off then than I am now — I was scared but I was also determined to try to cause a ruckus over the whole thing. Scared — more because of surgery that was facing me than because of the whole fight. I was intimidated and I felt alone quite a good bit. I didn’t have the support of my family (note my other journal entries and any reference to my father and his lack-of-sticking-his-neck-out). I did have the support of my friends for the most part… And that meant a lot to me.
And the fans, there is no way in hell that i can forget the fans. I was just a faceless-name to some of them. I mean, you gotta figure unless you meet someone in person that the only way they can perceive you is in two dimensions… At the same time, they were the reason I was putting up a fight in the first place and having the positive feedback I was getting was the reason I battled on to just try to attract attention to the situation. How could I just give in? Countless fans across the Internet could be subjected to some of the Corporate Terrorism like I was subjected to… I mean, the RIAA is doing that just now – terrorizing the fans.
So here I sit, 365 days after the events that transpired to give me a name and yet I’m no farther down the road than I was then. Not more recognized (though I have had some friends tell me they have read my story or heard about my plight — Lou Fisher heard about it in Fishkill, New York — reading it in the paper last year or what not) and yet back down a path I wanted to venture last year when I was telling Jeanne Malmgren about my plight… No, that wasn’t where I decided I wanted to write again, it was just an event that inspired me.
So what’s my inspiration now?
I’ve got the Stonegauge on line and it’s been there since last July… It’s got a trickle of web traffic compared to Beatlelyrics.com — though LennonLad is still taking in some 90-150 visitors a day, and Abolish the Designated Hitter takes in 5-20 visitors at any given time — but I am still kicking on the web.
Yet the web isn’t my inspiration… That’s not what’s driving me right now – not web recognition… Though I’d like it… I’d like to be bigger than I though I was in my brief and glimmering 15 minutes of fame last year. That part of me still exists. In fact, I’m happy to report the angry, angst ridden son-of-a-bitch is still out there right now. I won’t say I want the world but damnit – I’m not sitting back and waiting for things. Sure, I’ve got problems in front of me. Yeah, I’ve got problems that are pinning my emotions, but fer Christ’s sake — if I have any say on the direction of where I go from here, I’ll tell you that you ain’t seen nothing yet. I’ve been hurt — I’ll keep trying. I’ve been put down — I’ll keep trying. I’ve been stopped — I’ll keep fighting.
Well, just as long as I control my fate. When it’s taken out of my hands (medical stuff) there’s not much I can do… But I’ll leave it up to the Fates to tie me down or set me free.
It’s now the 4th of August. The official date the above mentioned article was published… and this little rant is now published as well.
I'm Ranting on Ranting and non-fiction!
I don’t get it. I honestly don’t fucking get this.
How come an opinionated asshole like myself has written dozens of rants on topics from local roads to Dubya and had them published as letters to the editor in the newspaper, has had thousands of rants (be they sports related and or political related or music related or what) posted on message boards across the Internet, and yet I don’t feel comfortable at all writing out this non fiction assignment?!? UGH!
I mean, you do a search on Google for me + the St. Petersburg Times and the following is just some of what will show up (you’ll have to scroll down for each of these letters most of the time:
Light Rail should be Joint Venture
Rail Transit Plans have some big holes in them
"Sunset
Point crossroads needs Overpass" – only one of several letter’s I’ve
written with regard to US 19
"Mass
Transit Could work if Counties combined efforts"
"What if views had been conservative?"
"We Didn’t Deserve the Olympics"
Scientology and Anti-semitism displayed in St. Pete Times letters section
That’s just a brief glimpse of stuff I’ve ranted about. Plus those who know my journal know full well I have ranted on and on about other things and other concerns of mine in here… I already made mention of that in a recent entry into this journal.
It drives me friggin’ INSANE knowing I can write all these short quips about things that concern me but now that I have to write 1000 words on them I’m shit out of nerve to do it. Someone pinch me, someone cuddle with me and someone re-assure before smacking me and telling me to snap out of it and get with it, that this is no big thing and I’m making a mountain out of a molehill.
Dated Material
Whoa.
Taking a casual aquaintence out for a date was something I haven’t done which seems sad and pathetic but when it’s someone off the internet – you must be careful. Tonight I had my first true experience with it and I am not regretting it in the least bit.
In fact, I’m trying my Freud to see what it means. It was conversation , it was hanging out, it was a link to the past and what could have — no SHOULD have – been if I had some nerve several years ago and did what I should have done and asked out a more than casual aquaintence because of my feelings for her.
It’s not that things clicked especially well — I was my usual self and I was just meeting this girl for the first time in reality. It was the nostalgia I had when I got to watching this girl and seeing her reactions and mannerisms and…
This isn’t the past. This isn’t who I was comparing this girl to. It was a totally seperate being with totally seperate plans for life and totally seperate goals. Someone that I am just getting to know. Not someone I knew. Someone I want to know more about – maybe need to know more about.
Anyway, she wants to hang out again sometimes soon — which is cool by me. Danny-boy wants to hang out when he is down here. Maybe a group outing would be a way to go about things? We’ll see.
Yes, this makes it easier for me to understand some people’s actions – but doesn’t forgive them one iota for their cowardice or Selfish at the same time. I imagine at one point you’re going to think “I guess he doesn’t want to talk to me…” That’s not quite the truth — you haven’t even tried to be a friend to me or make amends as a friend. That might work with the Erie lot (just put it off, it’ll go away) but it doesn’t work in the real world. Why should I talk to you if you’re going to act like you did nothing wrong in how you broke the news to me, or act in general like you don’t want to talk to me? Two negatives don’t make a positive.
Wake Up Call
Friends stick it through. You might not agree with them, you might have things materialize that you don’t agree with, you may move away from them (or vice versa) but they stick it through and show up over and over in your life (unless you push them out or abuse things). My early morning wakeup call reminded me of that.
I was woken up by my father while I was in the midst of some dream I can’t remember and ws told that Leah Kennett was here. Now I am groggy, I am sporting bed head and I am in boxer shorts but I hop out of bed and get dressed and then hop downstairs to see an old friend and shoot the breeze for a while.
It was good to talk to someone and get my mind off things, surely I would have woken up in the crapper – I had already done so too many times the past few weeks thinking about thing sin general. Leah’s mostly the same as she was when I used to hang out with her — except she was getting over minor surgery on the inside of her thigh and that felt like a positive to be honest — first time she could comprehend some of the shit I had been going through for the past few years. We just talked from one subject to the other, wheeling and dealing. I didn’t touch the subject of her boyfriend much because I honestly don’t know shit about the guy.
2 hours later she hobbled to her car and drove off to a destination unknown to this writer. Just the same, I’ll see her when I see her again, because I know I will down the road.
I don’t think I mentioned the blackout on Friday Night while a storm front rumbled through the area. It was quite a change of pace here to have no electricity and I found it pleasant to be honest. Candles were lit everything was pitch black for as far as I could see besides the cars passing on the highway behind my house. Of course Dad soon found annoyance in me being a conversationalist… Ho hum, better luck next time. 45 Minutes was all the blackout lasted and I really wish it stayed around much longer — it was quite surreal being thrown back life without the internet, without TV, etc.
Gobble Gobble
Turkey Day….
Just what am I thankful for? Just what is there to be thankful for?
For starters, having readers like you actually viewing my web page. Hello, how are you? 🙂
I’m thankful for electronics and for the mesh of the electronic and the biologic that gives me a chance to hear again.
I’m thankful that George Dubya Bush hasn’t blown us all to hell yet – though I don’t think it will be much longer if the fool gets to remain in charge for a while.
I’m thankful for the internet….
For Sarah Marie….
For Target Corporation and giving a guy who can’t hear that well a chance to do a job on the sales floor.
Speaking of Target, I’m thankful I still have use of my legs, feet and arms after getting worn out pushing, shoving and lifting stuff and putting them on to shelves.
I’m thankful for Jon Gruden, for the Glazer family proving that they aren’t as incompetent as they are shrewd, for the Tampa Bay Buccaneer sand 9-2 as of this writing….
For the Tampa Bay Lightning proving me wrong and starting off very hot this season. I am very thankful for that.
For Lou Pinella Coming back to TB to coach the Devil Rays who play like Deviled Eggs.
For the Beatles and Sony Music not suing my ass, and for the fans who supported me while they threatened… I am most certainly thankful for this.
Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving everyone 😀
