Tag: humor
The Epic nature of Clarketplace
My buddy Clark has taken the time and the effort in recent weeks to offer some very worthwhile items on Craig’s List. So worthwhile, in fact, the advertisements border on EPIC in nature! It’s a steal! Get it while you can! (and it’s humor! Yay humor!)
It’s amazing! It’s spectacular, and it’s leaving me in stitches with every week’s new offering. Check Clarketplace and see absurdity at it’s finest!
Ain't Technology Grand?
Will the technological wonders never cease?!? Behold the latest offering (by way of Penny Arcade):
Technologial advancements and good for the environment! Uses next to no energy at all!
Oh that silly media!
Anyone else a little sick of the media hype of Tom Cruise (and others) romance? Yeah, I figured the other 290+ Million Americans (and how many around the world?) just might be.
Matt Baldwin over at Defective Yeti flashes some humor over the latest People Magazine cover.
Fontana MD
So I’m sitting down, watching the opening minutes of House last night on FOX and end up going hysterical over the fact that House drugged his former lovers husband and called the paramedics before he even arrived… It just seemed so funny and prick-ish and just perfect for Greg House (Hugh Laurie, who hath erased the mockery of his abilities that was his role in the Stuart Little movies were).
My older brother walks in on me to see why I am laughing so hard, and once i explained to him his face lit up a bit and he started relating to me how he loves the show… and so do his friends who call him House when they see him….
Mike’s always been weird in one way or another and I started thinking about the comparison between him and Greg House. House is distant, he’s bitingly sarcastic, shrewd, genius, cold… Mike is… Well, Mike is all of those things, except he’ll smile more often than House, he’ll joke more often than House (for the good of humor, not out of sarcastic desire).
Mike IS Greg House.
I’ve known women who’ve wanted to grab the mystery for themselves with Mike. You can’t quite imagine women wanting House but the mystery about him is there…. Helping to drive Dr. Cameron unsuccessfully towards him.
It’s odd, first my brother happens to look like David Duchovney… Now he happens to be like Greg House. What’s next? He starts making as much money as (insert movie star here)?
Humor me
In your humble opinion, what do YOU think a Stonegauge is….? Or what do you think of when you hear the word?
Oh yeah, and answering “You” doesn’t count :-p
Talk
I usually start off my posts with titles — sometimes they come to me immediately and set the tone for posts, sometimes they are terrible titles for posts because they have nothing to do with them, and other times they are dead on. Right now I have no title at all in mind or every title I think of contradicts what I was going to talk about.
I was going over the site web logs – just sometime I do from time to time to see who is linked to Der Stonegauge or other sites I am in control of. I’ve been catching a lot of people who’ve been siphoning graphics lately, for example. I also check those logs for search phrases that are used on the Internet that leads people to this site. Sometimes they are strange terms, sometimes they are relevant because I have posts using those titles, sometimes they are explicitly (because I use 4 letter words in posts and other posts just happen to have the matching second keyword that some pervert typed into a Search Engine) and then some terms come out of the blue.
Here’s the one that made me do a double take:
he doesn’t want to talk to me
It got me thinking… It got me wondering…. Of course, I have no phrase use on the site that even comes close to that, and of course I have no clue who went on the Internet, typed that key-phrase on a certain Search Engine and got this site as a result, but it just jarred me a bit.
So I’ll humor myself here by just typing out why it may seem like “he doesn’t want to talk to me” to this person… And what the truth may be on why “he” seems the way he is.
Read More
Someone missed the boat and it was me
Oh dear god, I am falling in love with the Daily Show.
For years I hear about this growing cult of people who watch Jon Stewartt and company report on he news with a humorous, cynical and smart ass spin to things. I’m a fan of Jon Stewart but I never watched the show because at times the comedy that I have caught glimpses of on the show seemed a little too cheesy or a little dry or just too subtle.
But watching a few full shows and seeing everything going on? Jon Stewart and the rest of the gang at Daily happen to be Captain Obvious incarnate.
Oh sure, they also report on he ridiculous a ton… Like last night (I think it was a repeat) they had an interview with a fellow planning to build the Clinton “L-i-e brary” a few blocks away from the Clinton Presidential Library. I don’t know if he was on to the rouse that he wasn’t on a true news program but he told the show that it was “vital to our nations future” that people know the truth about Clinton and his lies…
…which was responded with rhetoric about how the CHILDREN actually are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way…. On and on, the full verse of The Greatest Love Of All was sang by the interviewer DURING the interview….
That’s balls, that’s bravado and that’s hilarious — mocking someone taking his outlandish cause too seriously…
Tonight? Jon Stewart fried Wolf Blitzer (in a humorous way, mind you – he wasn’t attacking Blitzer but laughing with him… or attempting to) and the media for how they’ve covered the war in Iraq with regards to asking questions. I believe Stewart asked, “Was it Group Think or another word, Retardation?”
Now if they could just lose the f’n commercials and expand the show (which would take a little too much, I would think), it would be insanely awesome… I’ll be happy with what I have for now — being a Daily n00b…
All right, I admit it, I am coming out about it….
I think… uh… I might be straight, everyone.
I know this comes as a shock to you all but it’s more shocking to me than any of you. I don’t know how I will live with myself – being drawn to the opposite sex and all that….
I think I might be straight flyer from the Gator Gay-Straight Alliance.
(thanks to Lies.com for this hilarious and entertaining flyer — this is not a bigoted post, just humor. No offense is intended and… well, shit… If you’re offended, lighten up)
Words that make you call out Poo
It’s funny how I was believing that writing was a salvation from drowning or being destroyed by reality, and i haven’t had the ability to write anything or want to write anything for a while now.
Check the journal, you can see the rants haven’t been there — they’ve been snippets here and there, not much more. In some cases they’ve been a few paragraphs, but the substance? What has the substance been?
Words, feelings, worries, blah blah blah blah blah.
I’m in a rut, no thanks to life as I know it an my health making life shit for me. I’m in a rut even trying to do what I know I am capable of doing. Self doubt, maybe procrastination… they are both stifling what I used to covet.
And of course the lack of creativity right now… The lack of a market… The lack of some push from something or someone special…
I feel like I am oblivion incarnate, or perhaps the embodiment of what is wrong with this world. I need some time – or a vacation from my life, from myself… from my worries and doubts… Maybe I just nee d a trip to Euphoria again? Happiness seems like such a distant land, even though I can find contentment shooting the shit up with some of my friends.
Maybe that’s all I should be relying on now? The little help from my friends when my Friends need a little help from my humor? There’s got to be more to my life though — I couldn’t stay sane with just that alone…. Though I am edging insanity as is.
Sunk again
The smart ass in me is alive and well lately as I am noticing but my humor is increasingly sarcastic and mired with doubts of every sort with regards to things around me right now.
It’s funny, I’ve been reading other blogs (Defective Yeti for example, Plenty of others that get sent my way by Mel and through my own glances at Blo.gs ) and no one I’ve seen is getting this personal about whining or about their lives (I haven’t seen at least) unless they have an entertaining anecdote or something….
My anecdotes don’t even tell the full story and some people think this is a good way to gauge my life :rolleyes Maybe I’ll have an amusing or entertaining anecdote sometime soon? I could really use a change of pace, honest. Enough of this shit-on-by-life, pushed-aside, maligned, used, abused and just phuckered in general bullshit which I am putting up with.
In a play of words from the LA Woman…
Motel, Money, Murder, Madness
Lets change the mood from SAD to GLADNESS
….if “gladness” is even a word…?
When I need a pick-me-up….
When I gotta laugh….
When I need to heave and choke on humor….
When things are bleak or members of each gender define the words “bitch” or “asshole”….
I can always count on Bash.org to make things right in the world once again… Well maybe not, but it gets me to the point I wanna piss myself with laughter….
Lilt I got in a fight one time with a really big guy, and he said, “I’m going to mop the floor with your face.” I said, “You’ll be sorry.” He said, “Oh, yeah? Why?” I said, “Well, you won’t be able to get into the corners very well.”
And-1 Some people are like Slinkies . . . not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
ThatIsDamnGood: Stupidity is an inexhaustible natural resource
ThatIsDamnGood: Someday we’ll learn to generate electrical power from it
ThatIsDamnGood: And it will change the worldMurdoc sometimes i wonder if the fig leaf on Eve’s twat is actually an air freshener
pleb hey how long does it take to get back the results from a fertility test?
Ouroboros Do you have a girlfriend?
pleb yeah
Ouroboros 9 months.
**sigh** Ah, Bash… I love you so… :kiss
(and mind you, folks, these things get a lot raunchier than what I cared to post on my site :smile)
D-Day…. B-Day
There’s just one thing I want today even though I know I won’t get it. It’s not big in physical form and it’s not small when it comes to meaning… At least not to me, it at least puts me at peace.
YOU BORN TODAY You have humor, imagination and a sense of the human story. Personally, you’re capable. But privately, you have a romantic soul. You will give your all for love. Everyone knows you are a free spirit; yet you value your origins. Major changes lie ahead. Fear not: They are favorable.
You Born Today: You are a committed idealist, which means you have your moments of rebellion. You want to make changes for the better in the world. You are strong-minded and know how to organize the efforts of those around you You will always do what you believe is right. Work hard this year for rewards in 2005. Birth date of Toni Braxton, singer
I also found out Vladimir Putin’s birthday is today… I know I share it with John Melloncamp and a few other famous people…
*Sigh* Back to the grind….
Legging it out – shrinking it down
To talk about today before last night, I just had another physical therapy session where I surprised myself with leg strength. Oh, I am no where near where I would hope to be, but I’m happy with the results.
For those not in the know, and I haven’t talked about it too much on here, I have been working with a physical therapist twice a week (named Bob, built guy, pretty cool) doing simple exercises to get some strength and possibly some balance back. What would be routine for others is a challenge for me right now. :mad
So going back a few hours, I had an idle conversation with a shrink online. Yes, a shrink (or someone who claimed they used to be one) who was online. She had been in an auto accident and instead of acting like a shrink, I felt like she was trying to new-age me with things. “Close your eyes, open your mind… put on three doors down. You are a freebird” — say what?
It depressed me, a bit, with things she told me. Angered me as well. Though she could understand my pain-and the difficulties I am facing right now, she didn’t understand my life, nor did she make sense in some of that crap she was telling me — “have faith in your mind first” (I have faith in my mind, but this isn’t the sense she meant it).
It got frustrating. Especially after I started talking to her again this morning (well, she started talking to me) and she asked me if I am ever humorous after she said something that i guess I was supposed to take as a joke… :rolleyes
Anyway, I finished up a story last night. I’m cooling off with it right now and I will go back and edit it a few times over the next few days/weeks. I’m also more than willing to send this thing to would-be guinea pigs… :tongue
Humor Me — Buccaneer Web log
Anyone interested in working with me on a Buccaneer Web Log?
Yes, the Bucs suck right now… Yes Bruce Allen is a moron… Yes Jon Gruden needs more humillity… That doesn’t mean to say we shouldn’t support Los Buccaneeros on the web — even in criticism.
And for those who are unsure why I bring up the idea of a Buccaneer web log…. Seeing I already own and operate Boltsmag, I figure a Bucs blog wouldn’t be a bad addition…
Just post comments if you’re interested… we’ll talk.