Tag: disrespect
What I've learned
You know, I wanted to write a long post about moving on from this ill-communication SNAFU that’s led to me drawing myself into a shell and feeling like someone died. Someone was snuffed out, and the person holding the gun simply said “oops” after the body hit the floor, hid it, and then announced to the world they used a glock pistol the first time.
Yes, I was going to tell everyone what I had learned from this, or had reinforced in me. Facts that apply to current and past malignant relations: Communications are vital in any friendship or relationship; that distance can and will kill (especially if you are half hearted on the communication front); that you make time for what’s important to you; if someone isn’t reaching back much when you reach out to them, they just aren’t that into you; that oftentimes we don’t want to see the obvious and want to imagine all is hunky-dory even though the painful truth is right in front of us.
But the two ultimate truths in this case at the top of my list
:
- I’m tired of being disrespected, or belittled in how someone deals with me. Not being honest or forthcoming while someone has the wrong idea and allowing them to go on is a huge disrespect to them.
- I hate being mad at the source of this disrespect
The problem here is, the first point trumps the second.
With my big heart, it’s too often I get disrespected or taken for granted. Willing to listen even if it hurts, to make time for someone even if I am busy, to reach out to even if it costs more than I have, to be understanding to a fault… I’ve lost other friends in the past because I allowed the disrespect to the point I was upset every time we talked.
Being big hearted makes my friends a priority and sadly, in this case, priority is the reason I know this entire situation won’t be settled any time soon. Because if I was a priority in simple friendship, none of this would have ever happened. I would have been down on myself a few days, but the 2nd of two “trump all” points would have ruled instead of the first.
Writing this won’t make things better, but it gets this stuff out of my head and out into the open for better or worse.
Strong for them, hell for you
How many times have you been supportive of someone who is close to you or who has meant something to you in the past, all the while you end up feeling like crap for doing it? Not because of you giving support to this person, but because of the topic?
It’s almost like what should lead to a breakup… Being there for someone but feeling trampled on in the relationship. You care and want to be there but you can’t keep being a friend for someone when they don’t respect you or even consider what certain topics/phrases do to you inside.
Respect… And Disrespect. If you are there for someone when they need you and they aren’t there for you, if you will apologize to someone about things – but they won’t ever apologize about any anger they’ve caused… It’s just not healthy and just not worth it. Friendship or more — it’s a two way street.
Show me some respect or find another person to dump on… I’m not playing the inanimate teddy bear any longer.
Dining experience
Can someone tell me what the rule is when it comes to going to a restaurant and acting like a total asshole? Or totally snobbish?
It seems the last two times I went to a finer restaurant — not a fine restaurant where there is a proper dress code, but nicer, finer restaurant where sandals and tank tops still find there way into the building — I’ve been told to act like a pompous prick and seen family do just that when things go weird. My mom especailly…
Maybe a year ago I went to a restaurant in downtown Dunedin with family. Nice place, nice atmosphere, forgot the name of it though so you’ll have to forgive me. While dining I dropped my fork and family insisted that I not pick up the fork…. Well, not much family, just my mom. When other things happened, I was told that the waitress will handle it. It drove me insane to be waited on over mundane things. This wasn’t like “Let the waiter put a napkin on your lap” type stuff. This was just normal “I’m not a lazy slob” type stuff.
Skipping over that event and finer details of the event — we jump to last night and my dining experience at Sam Seltzers Steakhouse in Clearwater. Not fine dining but it was a hell of a nice place to go to and a hell of a long wait to have. We must have waited an hour and a half for seats (which I’ve always told my parents “Get reservations to that place if you insist on trying to eat there sometime”) and in some ways it was worth it because it was just a nice place to go to…
But then my mother’s pomposity came into it.
Maybe she’s getting eccentric in her age or maybe I’m just too damned sensitive to others. A waiter was trying to handle some dishes — i didn’t pay attention to the fact if they were dirty or clean plates he was handling. What happened was, he tried putting them on an assistance tray/table next to one booth and slipped — he had the plates come crashing down. And my mom clapped and applauded him.
She applauded him with the attitude of a pure-spirited “I don’t give a fuck” woman who was stuffing her face and trying to have a good time at others expense.
Rage bubbled up from within me in embarrassment. I wanted to get up and actually help the guy with the mess but the gimp known as Me can’t quite handle that. I fumed and started telling my mom exactly what I felt. “I can’t believe you did that! Lift your nose up a little higher, mom, lift it up a little higher for everyone to see you’re the most pompous person in the building.”
Yes, that was disrespectful… And who knows, maybe I was over-reacting…. But then again? I’ve been the guy who has to face a crowd after an embarrassing episode and I do NOT want other people to experience the humility of it all — especially when one prick goes off and tries to make me feel worse than I already do. Maybe the waiter didn’t care? Maybe he’d been through this a thousand times already? In any case, wrong is wrong and acting like a asshole in a restaurant is a no-no. You’re supposed to do unto others a you want done unto you right? So why do you start exploiting a persons goof / mistake in embarrassing circumstances instead of trying to help the situation?
If I was at my friends house and that happened — where my friend is the one dealing with dishes and what not, or someone who knows who I am and what I stand for is handling the dishes — I’d possibly do what my mom did and start exploiting it because it’s in jest, it’s good fun and people around me know I don’t mean any harm by it. I’d tell the person (if it wasn’t a person totally familiar with me) that I was just kidding around and teasing and try to help them out after… That’s the type of person I am after all.
I’m not going to act like a dick, however, in the company of strangers and make one person feel like complete shit…. That’s just plain wrong.
Powell wants Outrage — and yet he doesn't realize he has it
Talk about hypocritical bullshit.
Colin Powell is pissed off at Arab leaders for not showing more outrage towards the videotaped beheading of Nick Berg – US citizen – by Al Qaeda operatives in Iraq
:rolleyes
I apologize for rolling my eyes over that to Nick Berg’s family and those who are outraged and disgusted by Nick Berg’s death. What I do not apologize for is the fact that Colin Powell is part of an administration that has caused mass death in Iraq through an unjustified war and the destruction of basic things in the name of conquest (not ridding Iraq of WMD’s, not trying to liberate the Iraqi people – conquest). Tens of thousands of deaths, not to mention the disgust of the entire world at the pomposity of the US administration with it’s cavalier attitude…
And you express disgust over insufficient outrage over one death?
What is the world supposed to show to you, Mr. Colin Powell? You’ve dyed yourself in disrespect through your loyalty to one of the most corrupt administrations in US history and have pushed forward false pretense for war and you expect outrage over one death? No, Colin, after all the Arab deaths you’ve caused — you need to express outrage towards innocents killed through war from both sides of the fray. Moreso the Arab deaths which have been routinely underplayed in the US and by the US Administration which doesn’t even TRACK these deaths. You’re the one that needs to express more disdain and sympathy towards the Arab people. Why? Because, as Kerryfuck so eloquently stated, you and your boss “fucked it up.” You fucked up allegiance in the war on Terror in the Middle East by invading a country that has nothing to do with it.
Powell requesting outrage for Nick Berg is Stalin requesting outrage if a officer in one of his detention centers is killed by a inmate who is being held against his will. It’s like George Steinbrennner requesting outrage because a team with a lower payroll beat his Yankees. It’s like King George of England requesting outrage because John Hancock had the audacity to sign his name big on the Declaration of Independence (“the Treasonous swine! He shall pay!”)
It’s bullshit, Colin, when you are causing outrage every day in every other nation with the murders that are committed, with the depreciation US Soldiers (the select few — not all of them) commit. Why aren’t you expressing more outrage, Colin, at the other sides losses? Why isn’t the President doing the same? Or Rummy? Or Condi? Or Tricky Dick Cheney?
The Flock of Seagulls knows no bounds… :rolleyes.
