Tag: christmas
Eighty-One. Bah, Humbug.
The high for December 24th
81 degrees in Pinellas County, Florida on Christmas Eve. There are millions of Americans that have endured the cold of the late fall and the first few days of Winter with sub-freezing temperatures, snow, ice, and all the weather that marks the season (and the problems they cause).
I get eighty-one degrees… And I’m not in the seasonal mood one bit because of it.
I don’t mean to play the Grinch, or make those up north jealous and play out like I’m ungrateful for having temperate weather as we pass the winter solstice… But I don’t get into the seasonal spirit any more seeing green trees around me (where trees won’t finish shedding leaves until February/March and grow them right back again). In fact it makes Christmas displays feel like Las Vegas light shows instead of the true time of the holiday that I know. It’s easier to tell the season by looking at store displays than with the weather outside.
In Florida you get two seasons: Spring and Summer. Oh, it gets chilly once in a while but every Spring has it’s cold days. And while some may want to defend the fact that it’s winter right now, even in Florida, I must ask how many places consider winter a growing season? In the northern hemisphere, I mean…
Eighty-one degrees… On Christmas eve. I’m sitting here with the grass-is-greener-on-the-other-side-of-the-fence mentality. 20 years ago I was jealous of my father being in Florida while we froze our buns off in New York. Right now, I’d rather endure the seasonal shift to cold — because not only would it ring in the time of year better, but it’d make me more appreciative of the warmth of summer. It’s hard to do that when your average temperature is 90 degrees with a sixty percent humidity for most of the year.
Maybe the new year will afford me the chance to escape Tampa Bay. I’d take it, but I don’t think that’s in the cards.
Back in the Saddle Again
Hope everybody had a great Christmas.
Well, it’s been over a year since I left Netflix and what did Santa bring me but a one year gift subscription. Ho Ho Ho… I’m trying to build up my queue again and there are a number of films I have flat out forgotten about over the past few weeks and months that I would like to see.
At the top of my queue is War of the Worlds and Sahara. I’ve also got Seaon 3 of 24 in there, Murderball, March of the Penguins, Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, Team America – World Police, Crash, Constantine and a few others… But I know or sure I’m forgetting a lot of flicks and can us some recommendations. I’ve seen a few thanks to cable and owning the DVD’s (so please no one suggest Batman Begins or the last Star Wars sequel)…
The X-(mas)Files
Fair warning people….
Eight more months till Christmas. Those shopping days are counting down to a very precious few.
The people and things….
I got nostalgic yesterday a bit not just because of where I was and who I was with, but also someoen I ended up talking to via email….
Eric Rosell, one of my best friends growing up – the kid aroudn the corner – got married in a small ceremony at a local church. It was the first time I had seen his parents in a few months, the first time I had seen his brother in a few years and the first time I had seen his sister in more years. It was amazing I was attending Eric’s wedding, surreal even. (sidenote – is it bad luck if a Catholic is married on teh day the Pope dies? I hope not)
I grew up playing or hanging out at Eric’s house. I was the one that was first notably enamoured with someone of the opposite sex… Or at least the first to make a big deal otu of love and romance and stuff like that. This, that and the other thing – I saw my childhood before me — even as it disappeared further.
The nostalgia didn’t end there as I heard from Danae – the girl who live ddownt eh block for a time who I was flipped out for. I had sent her an email wishing her a happy birthday — strange how sometimes you feel like it’s not yoru place to say soemthing like that and yet you have no problem with doing so with other people who are almost complete strangers. She got to breaking me the news her grandmother – who lives down the block – had passed away at Christmas (which I wasn’t aware of) and other things. I remembered being smitten with the saphire-eyed girl who lived at the corner… I thought of the memory of the past – and the awkwardness and malignance the relationship had in general.
But of all negatives in the past – they’ve been forgiven. If not forgotten by me.
GO ahead, make my day…
No matter what goes on or how mundane things are, I’ve found i have a knack for raising the bar for friends just a little bit here adn there… Just by being myself. Making someone’s day is not something new to me but it’s something that I hadn’t done in a while – well, not conciously.
I could bring up Christmas and gift selections on my part — I got everyone something they loved with exception given to my older brother (who hates everything people get him) and my father (who doesn’t give a care anyway). It was nice to see everyone a bit excited or happy with gifts.
But that was Christmas. What about now?
Well, yesterday I find out Danielle’s birthday is today… And I decide to go benevolent and send her flowers. Just a friendly gift as she is engaged and we’ve demonstrated that we’re not the best for each other. I start talkign to her today and she’s miserable because she’s had her birthday overlooked by her fiancé…. She’s had it ill planned by her future mother in law… She was brroding. She had Rob (her significant other) call and she brougth him down by being down herself. Bummer.
Then the flowers arrive… Just some daisey’s… And you know how big something like that is and how little it is in the grand scheme…? How much of a mood changer it was?
I’m good with shit like that… In all the mundane bullshit that I can whine about, lack of romance and lack of social circle, I can know that I am able to do things that can change someone’s day around or show I care. Maybe this is why I get hurt? Maybe this is why I’m vulnerable?
Maybe this is why I’m one of a kind?
Oh well….
Merry Christmas
Please Come Home for Christmas
Bells will be ringing the sad, sad news
Oh what a Christmas to have the blues
My baby’s gone I have no friends
To wish me greetings once againChoirs will be singing “Silent Night”
Christmas carols by candlelight
Please come home for Christmas,
Please come home for Christmas
If not for Christmas, by New Year’s nightFriends and relations send salutations
Sure as the stars shine above
For this is Christmas, yes, Christmas my dear
It’s the time of year to be with the one you loveSo won’t you tell me you’ll never more roam
Christmas and New Year’s will find you home
There’ll be no more sorrow, no grief and pain
And I’ll be happy, I’ll be happy, once againThere’ll be no more sorrow, no grief and pain
And I’ll be happy, happy Christmas, once again
Wishing all the best to everyone… Wishing peace and harmony to the world…. Hoping for better days… Praying for more understanding…. Sending out love to all.
Merry Christmas
A Cold December — random venting.
Random Christmas Eve rants —
I hate having to play the dick but that is what happened a littler earlier today – maybe I didn’t exactly play it but listening to someone start falling all over themselves for the umpteenth time and putting themselves into a shit situation — a dick is all I could be.
This very person had remarked about going with your head and not with yoru heart and how things will be nifty right at the start… This person also happened to tell me, a few minutes later, that she was “in love” with an abusive, controlling, insecure prick who wanted to keep her as a possesion and not as a person.
Over a couple of weeks chatting with this girl, I’d feed her logic and a few days later she comes back with “You were right.” And yet her own self-hate, self-loathing and low self-esteem leads her to punish herself… “This is the best I can do.” “I don’t deserve better”, “I’m not good for anythign more.”
🙄
I was also told by this same little girl that I shouldn’t settle for anyone or anything, that I seem like the person who would strive for just what they want… That’s true in a lot of ways but if there is anyone in life that has been resigned to the fact he’s got to settle in the end – its me. You can have personality up the waazoo, you can be sweet and romantic and a really funny guy… You can be selfless or benevolent but it really amounts to shit with people if you got a few things wrong with your person, or don’t meet the market ideal of what a lover should be.
…
And for the record, you don’t write off people and leave them in the cold (or — even worse — confess to avoiding them) at times when they need your friendship… Or to pull that act 3 or 4 tiems and expect continued benevolence. You can’t expect a friend if you can’t be one… but that’s a cold November story so we’ll just leave it be.
…
Maybe someone needs to get typing lessons for Christmas. I type fast and don’t copy edit and what happens? I look like I don’t know how to spell anything (typo after typo).
….
Anyone who tells me they don’t deserve, is full of shit. Anyone who puts up with someone’s abuse is either too in-love or just too insecure to go back to what they had with nothing. Anyone who falls in love with someone else but gets engaged to the guy they are dating just becasue she wasn’t ready to break up yet… Well, that’s just fooling everyone and setting up for problems. You can want to share a bed with someoen but, dear God, you’re REALLY setting up to get screwed by drawing it out like that!
…
And by the way… Bryan? Not that you read my blog but you really shouldn’t get so upset over Liz. Yes there were a few misteps there but give it time, buddy. Just be a friend or try to be and be content with that. Keep your eyes open as well, you never know what else is goign to come along (and actually be clear about their intentions instead of wishy-washy like a middle-school girl.
Season of Wither
Two quotes are ringing in my head…. One from a movie, one from a song…. Tis the season for these things to hurt.
How do you pick up the pieces of an old life? How do you go on? When in your heart you begin to understand, there is no going back. There are some things that time cannot mend. Some hurts go too deep… and they’ve taken hold.
– Frodo Baggins, Lord Of The Rings: Return of the King”
Bells will be ringing the sad, sad news
Oh, what a Christmas to have the blues
My baby’s gone, I have no friends
To wish me greetings once again
Choirs will be singing Silent Night
Christmas carols, by candle light
Please come home for Christmas
Please come home for Christmas
If not for Christmas, by New Years night
— Please Come Home for Christmas
Thanksgiving
It’s occured to me a lot the last few days that it’s been almost exactly a year since I went under the knife… The difference a year makes is immense in so many ways and yet the more things have improved, the more they stay the same with various faccets of my life.
Today we had somewhere around 20 people over for dinner… well, 20 people would be a few too many but it fluctuated in the teens all afternoon. Uncle’s, my aunt, my cousin and her daughter, my younger brother (while Mike skipped out on things) and other family friends. It was a great get-together for the most part and I had a lot of fun with things.
I brought up what I am thankful for (“That I’m not lying in a hospital bed this year.” ) to a round of applause and through the liquor and the laughter I easily forgot where I was a year ago today or what I suffered through at the time (no, not surgery — watching George W. Bush and his faux visit to Iraq).
But someone had to ruin the day for me.
It wasn’t family – though their reaction did indeed bother me. It wasn’t friends of the family – though I notably started acting strange when some people showed up. No, it was the fact certain people turned up with both their kids in tote that I had problems with. I mean MAJOR problems. It basically ruined the evening for me….
The family pretty much embraced them and that made me further angry — as someone who has opened his arms after being stepped on and then gotten stepped on again, I couldn’t stand to watch this train wreck in action.
Speaking of train wrecks, I was happy to see Kylie was walking. Kylie being my cousin Amber’s daughter. I had gotten very upset during her first birthday party when I saw not only was she not walking but she looked like she wasn’t nearly ready for it. I’m glad I’ve been proved wrong on that one.
So… To summarize — a year later I am in good spiriits. I’m not wasting away in a hospital bed with only a friend at my side and a Subway sandwitch to eat. I’m happy I am spending time with my family and out and about… I’m thankful that I’m not having nightmares of someone’s blog or having Christmas Cards thrown out…
I’m thankful….
Knights of the Old Republic
Well, what happened with Johnny when he lost his Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and Playstation 2?
He started playing with his Christmas presents…
I had received to different computer games to bide my time with at Christmas but I hadn’t installed them until mid January and barely played the first one. The second one was Sim City 4 and that was fun but it gets old fast.
So I went back to the first game I got / installed — Star Wars, Knights of the Old Republic
This game is usually heralded by gamers for it’s challenges and it’s depth, and I have to agree with that. I am not a hardcore gamer, nor will I ever know the depth and versatility of Video Games like, say, Gabe and Tycho over at Penny Arcade… But for me, Knights of the Old Republic was truly a fun game and a challenge… And personally? Thinking of the story line (well, there are several alternate story-lines, mind you, but for the sake of the argument – the one that has the main character a Jedi Knight and not a Sith Lord) could very well serve as a movie… No, not another one tied to the destiny of the original or prequel Star Wars trilogies…. A new movie with a stress on PREQUEL – no ties to the movies you know besides Sith Lords, Jedi Knights and Tatoonie.
I won’t publish any tips or hints here (how can I? I suck :p but I will guide any KOTOR gamers who are stuck to Gamebanshee… They were my savior at certain points in this game and I am looking forward to playing it again sometime in the future — just not yet. Not yet indeed.
Oh, one thing that sorta bummed me out at the end — the hero doesn’t get the girl! It ends up sorta like the end of the original Star Wars movie with a medal ceremony… And yet there is this small buildup of a relationship between one character and another and at the end — nothing happens! No kiss, no hug, no admittance of feelings… Nothing! Nada! Zip! Zero! Zilch! Ugh, how unforfilling! Oh well, it’s only a computer game…..
Grand Theft of my Grand Theft Auto addiction
This is cruelty to animals…
Since I got GTA: Vice City from Andrew on Christmas, I’ve slowly grown an addiction to running around and beating the shit out of people, driving fast cars, blowing people away and all that jazz. It’s fun, it’s challenging, and it’s something to do between workouts.
And now, I can’t.
I got my foot tied up with my gamepad controller cord and yanked my playstation by accident. It tumbled to the floor and now it won’t operate correctly – won’t eject my disc, won’t do much of anything at all.
Does this mean I have to drop a wad on another PS2? Oh dear, I hope not…
One actor, two characters, and the Assasin versus the Desperado
I’ve been meaning to type up a few thoughts I have had since Christmas Eve but I hadn’t gotten around to it because I have been feeling… well, you know… Ugh.
Starz was recently airing over and over again one of the Wachowski brothers writing works – one that I happen to like even though Sly Stallone sorta dragged the movie down. The film? Assasins. With the repeated airing of the film, I got to view over and over again the character in the movie that I loved the most — Miguel Bain, played by Antonio Bandaras.
Seeing this film repeatedly got me thinking about Antonio’s other role that I happen to like — El Mariachi, the guitar-case weilding, gunslinging hero of Desperado and Once Upon A Time In Mexico. With the gunslinging, the two characters of Bain and El Mariachi are similiar, but that is about where it ends.
I love Miguel Bain as the cunning, ruthless, cold hearted, quipping assassin that is driven by his desire to be the #1 assassin on the market. What woudl Bain do if he was pitted against El Mariachi?
Personally, I think he would kick El Mariachi’s ass. Bain (come on, Antonio looked cooler with the perm as to the long black straight hair) might not have a full weapons arsenal in a carrying case with him, but he’s calculating enough and — well? Aware of history? Even if he is only using a sniper rifle or a silenced .22 Ruger, I’d put my money on him before the big, bad, Mexcican (El Mariachi)….
Alas, Bain is dead and El Mariachi is forced to live on through Robert Rodriguez home video (Once Upon A Time iN Mexico was described as such)… I don’t know if that’s a good or bad thing, but I would have loved to have seen more of Bain in cinema…
MIA at the Stonegauge
Saturday was an interesting and annoying experience for me. Two days after the festivities of Christmas and instead of continuing the Christmas cheer, I was doubled over, moaning and whailing… First at home, then at Tampa General Hospital’s Emergency Room.
THat’s right, Johnny got a part on ER :tongue
Seriously, I spent most of Saturday at TGH waiting to go into the ER and then even more time wwaiting to have the doctor tell me exactly what I already knew — that I had some gut problems and that it was causing some pain.
…Not that the fucker perscribed me anything for it. :mad
I’ve been struggling personallly with this physical stuff the last few days – thus no entries. I don’t think any ofmy readers would mind that…
So this is Christmas…
Been up since 5:30 — still have insomnia but some pain killers i was perscribed in the hospital got me zonked out for a few hours…
…I’m happy to report that Christmas hasn’t been terrible here, nor has it been outstanding either (having to watch my younger brother Andy’s girlfriend’s son Austin throw up wasn’t very fun)… But it’s had it’s ups and downs.
The most notable up just occured when I was talking with Mike and presented him with his 3rd and final christmas gift — www.tasteofescape.com. Now, you may have read earlier this month that I had no clue what to get Mike and that he was discouraging me from getting him anything… He seemed genuinely enthused by the gift and offer to host his journal in the future (sharing web space on here). Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to see him impressed with the gift.
Was there anything more groundbreaking or earth-shattering that Johnny recieved for X-mas? Well, besides clothes and a few material things, not really. I guess I was just looking forward to today more than the gift part of the day — the family part and the social stuff. Personally I would have loved to have gotten everyone in the fam. and my friends a few more things, but alas — this year it was impossible to pull that off on account of me being a gimp :tongue
Yule Log — Happy Christmas (the War ain't over though)
Happy Christmas (War Is Over)
By John Ono Lennon
(Happy Christmas Kyoko
Happy Christmas Julian)
So this is Christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
And so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young
A very Merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear
And so this is Christmas
For weak and for strong
For rich and the poor ones
The world is so wrong
And so happy Christmas
For black and for white
For yellow and red ones
Let’s stop all the fight
A very Merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear
And so this is Christmas
And what have we done
Another year over
A new one just begun
And so happy Christmas
We hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young
A very Merry Christmas
And a happy New Year
Let’s hope it’s a good one
Without any fear
War is over, if you want it
War is over now
Happy Christmas
In memorium…
Seems John remains absent, so here I am again. Today, a little more personal.
I just realized (it is 10:30 PM) that today is the 5th anniversary of my aunts murder. I also realized that I completely missed the 21st anniversary of my fathers death on the ninth. Two days from now will be the 7th anniversary of the death of one of my classmates.
I’m not sure what suprises me more. That it has been this long since all of these tragedies affected my life (and there are more), or that there have been so many of them that I cant even keep track of it anymore.
As you might now guess, Christmas isnt much of a celebratory day in my household. At least, on this holiday season, I have yet to see my family mentioned in one of those “be thankful for what you have” stories newspapers like to write.
In short, be thankful for what you have. Remind your loved ones how much you appreciate them this christmas. A few words are far more profound than some cheesy toy picked up at Walmart.
Tis the Season – ho ho ho – help me out here…
So this is Christmas, and what have I done?
I’ve been newly cut open, now living as a bum…
So this is Christmas, and what do I get?
Another day older and leaning towards debt….
It’s Christmastime ladies and gentlemen if you have been living under a rock the past few weeks. Tis the season to spread jolly good vibes towards your fellow man and all that good stuff.
Personally I am a little perplexed this year as to what to get my family for Christmas. Specifically my older brother who I really want to slay with a gift — slay in a good way. I don’t mean overspend for a Christmas gift, I mean give him something sentimental that he will cherish.
See, Mike is someone who flaunts capitalism and debt in how he operates. He is already going to be giving several thousand dollars worth of gifts jointly in my name to people this year. That tweaks me because I really feel like an invalid shit not being able to pay my own way with certain gifts.
At the same time, it’s nice someone else is picking up the tab of course…
But the thing is, I want to show him that I care. I can’t buy something that will make him say “Oh wow, thanks!” unless I find something that he really wouldn’t have thought he would like. I can’t MAKE him something he would admire, in my humble opinion, because Mike has always given me a tough time with things I do as not being good enough or not as good as it COULD be.
I have the thought of buying him a domain name — as he is currently running a blog on http://foreverlad.diaryland.com — and giving him an MT treatment and web space of his very own, but he doesn’t want to be COMMITTED to anything. I got a bit of shit from him recently because of my birthday gift to him, and Ecosphere, and the fact he doesn’t want to be responsible for these living creatures inside the sphere (feels guilty when they thing doesn’t get proper light, etc).
Should I just say “The hell with it?” and get him a card? What are some of your off-the-cuff ideas for Christmas gifts? Input would be nice here…
BUSY BUSY BUSY
So, I have just been a busy little bee, or just avoiding computers. j/k Well I guess I have been taking a break from things. Especially since I sit in front of one all day long at work. A vacation was needed, so I took one.
On Thanksgiving I stuffed myself silly. I love food as I posted previously. Yum. My fiance and I ate at my parents for lunch and his parents for supper. And since we didn’t like doing all this traveling all in one day, we kind of decided to just spend Christmas on our own, and maybe invite the parental units to join us instead.
So that was my weekend. Hope everyone had a good one.
Cure Me or Kill Me
This song is so appropriate right now (ok, the title more than the verse)…
Cure me… or Kill me
By Gilby Clare
When the last car hit the wall
Was the guilt still in or head?
In your magic crystal ball
Is the power that made you mad
You can’t save yourself,
it’s a pleasure cruise
You’re damned for a million years
There’s a viper in your bedroom
Under the sheets is tarantula fuzz
When she bites, she bites for murder
I bleed the Addams Family blood
There’s a spell on me that I can’t reverse
It’s a sympathy cross you burn
Cure me or kill me..
But don’t leave me here for dead again
Cure me or kill me..
But don’t leave me here for dead again
This is your last happy Christmas
Your worst Birthday party
The cyanide in your poison ring
Wouldn’t cure my misery
Don’t bury me when I’m history
I think you’ll find an easy way out
