Tag: brooding
bringing out the worst in me
It’s funny how some thigns come to you and inspire you to write or at least get the thoughts out someplace or another. In my case, it’s here on the Blog where the world can read, dissect, and make fun of whatever is bugging me.
In this case, it’s thoughts of the malignancies from this summer. Nothing new or fresh happened: the closest thing to news would be the fact I got a Christmas card from said malignance after the holiday. I didn’t even open it — because of the anger it brings out in me.
That’s the whole point of this post: It’s not healthy to brood about something that went wrong or something that happened in the past. It’s not healthy to sit on it and bubble over with thoughts that are just negative toward what happened. Negative and brooding.
A half hearted attempt in a card to thaw the ice didn’t exactly play well with me – not after five months of nothing. Nor would showing up in one form or another now and trying to play friendly. Thawing the ice isn’t going to happen when I have gotten to sit on the malignancies seven months.
But that’s not even supposed to be the point of this post. The stubbornness on display? The fact I am still angry after all this time? That’s the point — it’s bringing out the worst in me. Good friendships or other relationships are supposed to help you highlight your best thoughts and actions. The best of your character.
Chalk this up as another thing I’ve learned.
Brooding
I got to thinking about certain people and certain things tonight after my last post… mostly because I had the opportunity to think instead of post from my gut…
It would seem Kurt Cobain had a more serious situation with his girlfriend, Tracy Marander, than I’ve had with those I am thinking about… It is sorta reverse in fact… You see, Kurt needed to get a job in order to live with Tracy — or at least that is what she wanted. Kurt would rather live in his car than do that though.
Maybe I just feel taken advantage of and the fact that I only got to talk to someone when they were in need or down on their luck or in need of an ego fluff. At any rate, I can’t be there to get hurt again and again if I am going to be used without someone putting back what they take out… Sorta like someone living in an apartment for free who won’t chip in the rent fr the food or whatever…
About A Girl
(Cobain)
I need an easy friend
(I do) With an ear to lend
(I do) Think you fit this shoe
(I do) But you have a clue
I’ll take advantage while
You hang me out to dry
But I can’t see you every night (for) free
I do
I’m standing in your line
(I do) Hope you have the time
(I do) Pick a number to
(I do) Keep a date with you
I’ll take advantage while
You hang me out to dry
But I can’t see you every night (for) free
I do
I need an easy friend
(I do) With an ear to lend
(I do) Think you fit this shoe
(I do) But you have a clue
I’ll take advantage while
You hang me out to dry
But I can’t see you every night,
no I can’t see you every night…
For free
I do … (x4)
