Tag: accident
This Shoulda' Killed Me
Upon arriving in Los Angeles, I was greeted by clear blue skies, temperatures in the 90’s and smog so thick that I couldn’t tell where it ended and the mountains began (that changed as I rode FlyAway closer to downtown).
Yeah, I was happily back in the City of Angels and thinking about the steps ahead of me… Get to Union Station and walk down the ramp to the Metro subway terminal, take Metro to the Julian Dixon transit center, walk up Fig 4 blocks to the Bonaventure. Check in.
Easy enough, right?
Oh, some of that went off without a problem. That walk, however, proved more difficult than it should have been. I employed my cane (which I’ve basically stopped using back at home) because of how uneven the ground would be. Between uneven sidewalk (not steep, just uneven) and a backpack stuffed full (along with a long sleeve shirt stuck in the top loop of the bag), that walk was a challenge. Oh, add to it the heat and you have the makings of quite an undertaking for someone like me.
But lets flash forward. After that walk my head was clearly out of place — not discouraged but I didn’t think I was paying well enough attention to where I was going and what was right in front of me. That brought back memories over and over again of my LAST visit to Los Angeles and my last stay at the Bonaventure hotel.
Not paying attention, poor balance due to uneven surfaces, etc, etc. It had all contributed to my literal downfall.
I checked in, unpacked my stuff and was hungry. I wanted to not only get a bite to eat but maybe snap some pictures somewhere. But the only place that came to mind was on the Bonaventure property. The skybridge crossing 5th street to National City Bank Plaza.
Post lunch (which I had at Flower Street mall underneath National City Bank plaza), I take the sky bridge across Fifth and behold the scene of the crime:
Lemme use my own words from what happened to recount the accident:
So I find this exit to a skybridge — whoo hoo! — and start walking down a long corridor with skylights. I ignorantly think I am on the skybridge itself (the Bonaventure has several and ALL are uncovered) when in fact I am walking beneath the pool deck/patio of the building.
So I come to the end of that hall and find a pair of double doors saying thank-you, leaving-the-hotel, blah-blah-blah…. I can see a flight of stairs down and a flight of stairs up a short distance in front of me. I swing those doors open and walk a few steps — never observing the two steps down immediately in front of me.
Anarchy ensues.
I tumble and smash my face into a concrete-ornamental-edging at the side of the wall. I wither and moan in pain. I’m shaking, I’m bleeding, I think I’ve broken my nose.
2400 miles from home, no family in the greater Los Angeles area… The gimp-with-a-limp has worked himself ineptly into a fine mess.
You look at that edging, you look at those steps… It’s all poured concrete, that’s a two foot drop between those steps and the next solid level. I may have called myself a “gimp-with-a-limp” but that was only partially the truth. I was a gimp-with-a-limp who had a major operation just about 3 months previously. Major neurological surgery and then an accident like this where you miss two steps and smash your nose into the edge of a solid concrete curb with full body force?
That fall should have killed me. Not could have, should have.
I commented on that post from last year, saying I’m barely swollen, no black and blues or anything. Just a little tender in the shnozz but that’s that.
I’d like to say, John, that you are one lucky son of a bitch. Someone out there likes you…
I can't get there from here
My biological clock is tickin’ like this! (stomping feet) At this rate, I ain’t neva’ gettin’ married!” — Marisa Tomei (as Mona Lisa Vito) in My Cousin Vinny
A couple of months back, my friend Terra had asked me if guys start having the biological clock thing and start feeling antsy about things. This was inspired by her friend Marc who seemed to be getting that way in wanting to settle down (I forget the exact details of the conversation). I do remember telling her that generally I (as a guy) felt like it was time to grow up and some people also must get it.
I never expected a feeling of dread that I am missing out on more (love, family) until today.
I’m rather chronic with wanting to get involved and I know I bitch and whine elsewhere about my prospects.. Yet I’ve never felt like I would want, need or have a child. That’s probably still the overall realistic truth (I’m single, I am not dating, I am not sleeping around, nor am I the type to just sleep around)…
Yet last night, out of nowhere while my head was weaving it’s magic through the dreamscape — i had a child. I mean, I was the father of a little girl that appeared in the wandering farscapes and such of my subconscious. A little blond haired girl with glasses who thought I was going to be upset with her that she bought herself a toy instead of something else she needed. I re-assured her I wasn’t and put on a happy face. I also ended up — while trying to fix her glasses — breaking her spectacles by accident.
But what has nagged at me is my knowing the girl thought I was her father and I was her father.
I really need to get my mind off this subject and the entire subject of romance right now. Nothing good is going to come from a forced encounter with a stranger that I meet in this state-of-mind…
Avoiding Responsibility
There are a couple of news stories I have come across on the Current Events forum on Skyscraperpage that have really got me irked right now, let me give you snippets of both:
Mother sues Coors over son’s death
RENO, Nevada (AP) — The mother of a 19-year-old killed in a traffic accident is suing Coors Brewing Co., claiming that it promotes underage drinking.
Jodie Pisco, of Reno, contends Coors has failed in its duty to protect the country’s youth from drinking. Her son, Ryan, was killed in 2002 after he drank Coors at a party and drove his girlfriend’s car into a light pole at 90 mph, the lawsuit says.
The lawsuit, filed Wednesday in Washoe County District Court, seeks unspecified damages. It accused Coors of “glorifying a culture of youth, sex and glamour while hiding the dangers of alcohol abuse and addiction.”
Story number two….
Columbine Father told to “Get a Life” by NRA
PITTSBURGH (AP) – A man whose son was killed in the Columbine High School shootings literally walked in his child’s shoes to the National Rifle Association convention, where he hoped Vice President Dick Cheney would address the federal assault weapons ban set to expire in September.
Tom Mauser, whose son Daniel was killed with an assault weapon in the Littleton, Colo., killings five years ago Tuesday, said continuing the ban is common sense.Assault weapons “are the weapons of gangs, drug lords and sick people,” Mauser said before his three-block march to the convention, which runs through Sunday. “It is a weapon of war and we don’t want this war on our streets.”
Mauser challenged Cheney to speak about extending the ban when the vice president delivered the convention’s keynote address Saturday night.
However, there was no indication Saturday afternoon that Cheney would address the matter. He was expected to reaffirm President Bush’s position that the Second Amendment protects individual gun ownership and tout statistics that federal prosecutions of gun-related crimes have risen significantly under Bush’s presidency.
NRA spokesman Andrew Arulanandam called the assault weapon ban “nothing but an incremental effort to ban more firearms.”
…
Mauser entered the convention hall where the NRA was meeting, but was turned away by a security guard as several conventioneers applauded. A couple of conventioneers yelled “Get a life” and “Vote for Bush.”
:mad
I see two articles and I see two Americas. One is a land where soemoen tries to prevent tragedies from hitting other families while another wants to avoid responsibilites One tries to lobby to keep excessively dangerous items out of the mainstream and another triest to immerse themselves in money in order to saturate grief with green.
It angers me to no end.
That mother dodges all parental responsibilities and does not take into account her own failings for her sons death. Didn’t she ever tell him not to drink and drive? To get a ride if you are too intoxicated to drive? or NOT to drink at all? “You’re not old enough yet”? Does this woman think that she is the only one that has lost a child to under-age drinking, much less drinking and driving?
I’m sorry, ma’am, but your lawsuit is full of shit. There is this organization called Mothers Against Drunk Driving that has worked tirelessly to fight drunk driving, promote awareness and — this might scare you off — parental responsibility in keeping minors away from drinking. Instead of wasting hours of time in the courts, why not try to stop the problem before it starts and help others teach their children to be responsible? That would go too far against yoru principles, wouldn’t it? :rolleyes:
Yes, it’s a tragedy what has happened but at the same time it’s a tragedy when someone thinks a lawsuit will help erase their own irresponsibilities will make things all right. Budweiser and other alcoholic companies promote good times when drinking beer and that tends to be the truth… They also have commercials that say KNOW WHEN TO SAY WHEN and DRINK RESPONSIBLY. What will you do when you have this court case thrown out? Sue God for not answering your prayers? :rolleyes
Meanwhile we have Tom Mauser who’s so was murdered in the Columbine rampage. He goes into the lions den and preaches responsibility when talking about an assault weapons ban and what happens? Mauser is ridiculed, belittled and his tragedy overlooked.
I’d like to know where the NRA stands on personal responsibility with weapons and why offensive weapons need to be open to the public just as defensive weapons are? Anyone who tells me an AK-47 is a hunting weapon is full of shit, or that an Uzi is to be used to hunt Elk or some other animal. These are not defensive weapons but are made for carnage and offensive purposes. Someone who is attacking is going to use these not to defend their property but to take yoru own… Stopping these guns from making it out into the open market is a plus… Of course, Dick Cheney and the NRA side with gun makers and will tell you that owners are supposed to be responsible and they shoudln’t be limited into what types of weapons they own…
The problem with that logic is assuming all gun owners are going to be responsible – which they aren’t. There are no licenses in place for gun users and owners, though they do background checks on gun owners to make sure they don’t sell them to criminals, it’s not like once a gun makes it out into public it can’t end up in a criminals hands… And which guns are going to lead to more damage out in public? Assault Weapons killed 13 and injured 25 in columbine… Including Tom Mausers son. For Mauser to be told to get a life over encouraging the continuation of the assault weapons ban is to see how closed minded people are when there minds are made up. “Limiting guns in any way is just working towars a ban and that violates the right to bear arms in teh bill of rights!” Yeah? And when your son or daughter get gunned down, you still will be singing that tune just becuase the NRA is more important than family, isn’t it? :rolleyes
Cheater?
RonFontana: ders or at least Mark Lindsey the lead, called Arizona. not great but made me think of you, just cause of the title, ever hear it?
I had sent my father a message with regards to the wi fi network and he accidentally sent htat message to me… I think about it and keep reading it over and even though it doesn’t flat out say anything at all, it pisses me off to no end.
My parents 33rd wedding anniversary is on Saturday and if that son of a bitch is cheating on my mom, so help me I will make his life a living hell from this point on… :mad
Grand Theft of my Grand Theft Auto addiction
This is cruelty to animals…
Since I got GTA: Vice City from Andrew on Christmas, I’ve slowly grown an addiction to running around and beating the shit out of people, driving fast cars, blowing people away and all that jazz. It’s fun, it’s challenging, and it’s something to do between workouts.
And now, I can’t.
I got my foot tied up with my gamepad controller cord and yanked my playstation by accident. It tumbled to the floor and now it won’t operate correctly – won’t eject my disc, won’t do much of anything at all.
Does this mean I have to drop a wad on another PS2? Oh dear, I hope not…
Lunar-cy
The last few days have been really exciting with the NASA probe American Spirit arriving on Mars, landing on the Martian surface and sending back images… It’s the first successful mission to Mars (landing mission) since 1997 and a great accomplishment for the down-and-out NASA space program, which has seen setbacks and accidents over and over again for the last few years.
And now The Bush administration is using renewed public interest in the space program to help it’s 2004 re-election campaign.
George W. Bush is set to announce plans for Americans (or humans in general?) to return to the moon and establish a lunar colony…. Also, he will propose a manned mission to Mars. In exploration terms and in the excitement of the space program — this is outstanding. In terms of sound economics and sound politics – this is appalling.
Make no mistake, I am a firm believer in the space program and believe we should be trying to expand our reach in our own solar system. I’m all for going back tot he moon. I am in favor of trying to reach mars within the next 10 to 15 years… My problems lie with the backer of these new space missions: Money. Where is it going to come from? How much is it going to cost? How the hell are we going to pay for it?
You see, George W. Bush and those in power have cut taxes, preached more tax cuts, expanded government instead of stream-lined it, have two ongoing military missions costing billions of dollars a month, have an ongoing war with a terrorist network that further saps financial resources. We have failing schools, degrading infrastructure, rising domestic costs and yet… Bush proposes missions to space that will cost half a trillion dollars or more when it’s all said and done?
Please :rolleyes:
The US is in an economic crisis of sorts and we’re prepared to keep spending? That makes no sense. Bush will not be implementing any new taxes, nor will he propose a repeal of his tax cuts from the last 4 years… Instead? The national deficit will continue to grow and the national debt will balloon and — soon enough, if nothing stops it — tear down the very fabric of this great nation….
Economic responsibility is needed now or we’re all going to get it in the end…
Pre-op
For those of you who have never had to spend a day in the hospital, being forced to wait a gods age to talk to a doctor for a few minutes before being shuttled along to another doctor… I hope you never have to go through the Pre-Operation experience which I have so adequately have down.
I spent the majority of my day at Tampa General Hospital, hob knobbing in Harborside Plaza before being shuttled through the Pre-Op area of the main hospital… Where I got to re-read the bad news that I may be a paraplegic after my scheduled operation Wednesday.
Yes, that’s right folks. A guy who used to be able to walk being forced to use a wheelchair for the remainder of his days perchance… You don’t meet many of these people often… Normally when you find out someone has been forced into a wheelchair, you assume there was an accident.
Mine’s genetics…
At any rate, I’ve been down a good part of the day after reading some stuff my Doctor wrote about the gravity of the operation… It made em miss, it made me want, it made me hurt, it made me want to cry (and I know I did at times – just sobbing to myself when no one was looking). I could have used a shoulder to lean on…. but it would seem that between people’s choices and the course of fate, some doors you have to walk through all alone.
…which is, sadly, a very common experience for myself… Or at least that is how I feel about it.
I’ve got my friends, I’ve got my family but at the same time – I am missing something… *sigh*
Legging it out – shrinking it down
To talk about today before last night, I just had another physical therapy session where I surprised myself with leg strength. Oh, I am no where near where I would hope to be, but I’m happy with the results.
For those not in the know, and I haven’t talked about it too much on here, I have been working with a physical therapist twice a week (named Bob, built guy, pretty cool) doing simple exercises to get some strength and possibly some balance back. What would be routine for others is a challenge for me right now. :mad
So going back a few hours, I had an idle conversation with a shrink online. Yes, a shrink (or someone who claimed they used to be one) who was online. She had been in an auto accident and instead of acting like a shrink, I felt like she was trying to new-age me with things. “Close your eyes, open your mind… put on three doors down. You are a freebird” — say what?
It depressed me, a bit, with things she told me. Angered me as well. Though she could understand my pain-and the difficulties I am facing right now, she didn’t understand my life, nor did she make sense in some of that crap she was telling me — “have faith in your mind first” (I have faith in my mind, but this isn’t the sense she meant it).
It got frustrating. Especially after I started talking to her again this morning (well, she started talking to me) and she asked me if I am ever humorous after she said something that i guess I was supposed to take as a joke… :rolleyes
Anyway, I finished up a story last night. I’m cooling off with it right now and I will go back and edit it a few times over the next few days/weeks. I’m also more than willing to send this thing to would-be guinea pigs… :tongue
Humility
This entry has a dual purpose because there’s an anecdote from the hospital that I’ve failed to report in here and there was something that happened today (that I already bitched to someone about) that just really made me feel like less than I do already.
Lets go back to the Hospital and my immediate recovery in there. I told this story to someone already but I just like it because it’s so strange and at the same time so demeaning.
I got out of post-op and started on my way back to normalcy feeling pretty good despite a little pain from the operation. I was generally in good spirits. Was waiting to hear from a few people on my pager and wanted to take my time before I found out who was going to contact me and stuff. The hospital chaplain came into my room and gave me a blessing, even though I am a very very rotten Catholic. Actually made me feel good, if still awkward with religion.
It may have been a day later when I had two older people — middle age — come into my room and start talking to me. I told them flat out that I couldn’t understand and they were very understanding about it and did what they could to accommodate me. They were Catholic reps and wanted to give me communion and stuff like that. I explained to them my discomfort with religion and instead of trying to lecture me, I got a very understanding response from both of them and told that God loves me anyway. I was offered some literature (religious pamphlets, I assume — if not the bible) and accepted, though I never got those papers from these two. It was another pleasant experience that left me a little more at ease with religion and all that, if still awkward.
Unfortunately that didn’t remain the case. Someone had to screw things up and it happened the day of my discharge where I was made to feel like an it — not a person, just a thing. Some heathen, a poor and tortured soul with no heart or mind.
Some woman came into the room — big teeth, hair down to her chin, and started speaking to me. My mom was in the room at the time and we both tried to explain that I couldn’t hear well so I didn’t know what the woman was saying. Instead of her making any attempt to communicate with me — she just nodded and smiled and started speaking… Saying over and over again (as I found out later) that God Loves me. She didn’t look at me as she spoke these words, and she wasn’t looking to the heavens when she was either. She looked at my hat. She acted like I wasn’t there. She basically made me feel like nothing in her blessings. She single handedly – through her good intentions — endorsed the caricature of religion that I have over the years grown to have.
A week of work, shattered for the Lord. Thank you, ma’am. My mom gasped and laughed at the ridiculous after it happened. All I could do was join her — it was just too outrageous.
What does this accomplish if someone goes out and tries to do something for someone but makes them humiliated in the process? What does it accomplish for either side? You think it leaves you in good standing or makes you feel good in your heart to know you did something while not knowing how terrible you made the other party involved feel? That’s something that has bothered me before when I have gotten less than stellar reactions to gifts or niceties from me – I didn’t want to do something that made someone feel bad (though I may very well have accomplished it without trying to).
Why am I ranting about this?
Well, I had another lesson in humility to night — feeling humiliated — as my darling older brother continued to make me feel less than I already do during my recuperation. I won’t go into details because I’m just not in the mood but I don’t need a mocking head nod from the asshole, nor do I need criticism for making attempts at things to achieve some normalcy in my life, or scornful remarks for trying to go down the stairs and having an accident in the attempt (leg “giving out” under me before I got off the top step). I want to get better, I’d like to get better with help, but god damnit — I don’t need this shit in order to do that. I know this is tough for my family and I have apologized a few times to my parents because of it… Mike, on the other hand, is going past the “Older brother” stage and making me feel like I’m just some inept, incompetent little shit that hinders everything in the household and makes life a living hell for those who live here.
I don’t know folks — I’ll fight on but it doesn’t get any easier when people make you feel less than you are. I already have enough shit that I am up against, I could use support and understanding. I could use an attempt by others to make a connection so I don’t feel like just another member of one’s quota. I could use some understanding and less abrasiveness and arrogance and scornfulness in order to get through this. It’s tough for everybody, but remember it’s toughest for me first (as selfish as that sounds) — I don’t just have to live with these difficulties, I have to live with the knowledge I am passing on all this pain to my loved ones and firends…. It’s not a burden I would want anyone to carry.
Home Alone (should I stay or should I go?)
My great aunt Cassie died yesterday and my mom is very broken up about it. Her and my father are planning on leaving for Massachusetts for four days to attend the funeral 00 that’s if they don’t drive up there – and either that leaves me home (mostly) alone or gives me the chance to get out of town for a few days.
Not really the circumstances I want and not really what I want right now.
My legs aren’t doing well at all and being home alone now is not my ideal. Niether is going on a trip 1500 miles to mingle with people I don’t know and be stuck with my parents more than I am as it stands. I am planning on staying home but Miguel is harping that I should go with them because he won’t be around in case something bad happens.
Yeah, like being 1500 miles from home is going to keep me from having something bad happen to me? I’d be alone in that case as well as alone by staying here… and by staying here, at least I’d be entertained and be able to get in touch with those close by if something bad happened. There? I’d be alienated and have to deal with the ‘Rents too much.
I’m opting for staying here. Worst that can happen is getting in an accident and struggling to a phone and calling 911.
Sure it will be lonely but it’s a sight better than being annoyed all the time.
More Dated Material
So it’s Wednesday and I’m still thinking about last night. I didn’t talk so much about the date itself as the similarity between the girl in question and someone from the distant past.
Though I can’t get over the similarities.
She came over to my place and we then went out to Insomnia — or were planning to go there — when we found out that Insomnia (local coffee house, pretty nice atmosphere) is now closed. FUBAR. We sat around inside her Camaro for 10 minutes talking and then decided to go to Applebee’s because she hadn’t eaten yet. No problem — off we go and then I find out two very important things:
1) she’s a vegitarian
2) Home Depot reminds her of her younger brother almost losing his finger in an accident
Applebees menu is a lot of meat on it with salad on the side. Shit. Should have gone to Carrabas or some other italian restaurant instead. Didn’t matter though. She ordered a chicken salad and most of the time it wasn’t focusing on eating between us anyway, it was talking. Though I admit I did most of the talking (on the account of my hearing).
I like rambling like that. I mean, we were talking for 20 minutes before we even ordered our food (of course, our waitress didn’t help things out too much either by taking her damn sweet time getting back to us). It was a lot of talking and it’s just what I wanted to be hoenst. I’m interested in the girl from the little bit that I learned about her when we talked online and I’m moreso now that I know more about her.
Of course I’m reporting too much of my personal life in here. Some people might say “What do you mean? That’s what makes it interesting.” while the few and the proud know first hand just what has happened to me in the past by reporting too much in here.
So anyway, had a friend over here again today and we shot the shit up – just talking, ended up surfing the web for a bit for jokes. Always a blast.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m starving, time to grab some grub.
Californiacationed
I’m back…
After getting caught up at home (read – unwound, read the paper, got bored to shit, etc) I’m here giving you the update on what went down during my four day trek through Jim Morrison’s City of Light (or City of Night, take your pick).
First and foremost, the flight to LA was good – we had pretty good conditions and we also had a basically empty plane that made a stop over in Albuquerque, New Mexico before going on to LA. There was, however, a rather gross incident on this flight I would rather forget – a kid sitting across the aisle either spilled a drink or wet his pants, he proceeded to stand up on his seat and disrobe all the way to his bare ass. Now, nudity is pretty cool in some lights, but I do not want to look at a child’s penis, nor do I think they should be allowed to get naked on the plane in plain view of everyone else…
What he didn’t do, and I’m glad he didn’t, was run up and down the aisle screaming “Nekkid time! Nekkid time!”
Anyway, on the second leg of the flight — I enjoyed a soft drink instead of the bottled water which I had been drinking for most of the flight. I also had my father repeatedly flip me the bird. Gee, thanks Dad.
When we got to LA, everything was great up until we got near St. Vincent Medical Center – traffic was snarled and we were frustrated as hell by it, not only that but we went to the local grocery store to pick up some things for our stay and we found out that there had been a MAJOR accident involving buried utilities. Some of the street lights on the way had been out, the stores themselves were shut, there was police tape from here to San Bernardino and we basically had to go back empty handed.
Anything else of worth on that trip? No really, the settings of my ABI were changed and they’re a bit fuckered at this point. I’ll get used to it of course but it will take a while. I also wrote a new poem that I’ll probably put on the site soon enough, but I want to go about doing some web work and see if I can get the new design for this page (yes kiddies, new design — maybe) together.
