Category: Personal

The life and times of John Fontana — personal blog posts about things John is dealing with / going through / thinking of / experiencing.

"You have to answer for Santino"

One of my favorite movie lines in cinema is issued by Michael Corleone (Al Pacino) in the original Godfather movie. Shortly after his nephew’s baptism Michael and his crew have his brother-in-law, Carlo Rizzi, in the family house, and Michael confronts him over the murder/execution of his older brother – Santino “Sonny” Corleone.

Mike’s a smart guy, shrewd and to the point —

“You have to answer for Santino, Carlo”

“Today I settle all family business, so don’t tell me you’re innocent Carlo…. you’re out of the Family business, that’s your punishment. You’re finished. I’m putting you on a plane to Vegas and I want you to stay there, understand? Only don’t tell me you’re innocent, because it insults my intelligence, and makes me very angry.”

Not only is Michael Corleone cleaning up family business, but he is to avenging for his brothers murder.

Now what the hell is on my mind that brings up Michael Corleone and one of his first actions as Don of the Corleone family?

I guess it’s because of answering for things you’ve done. Wrong turns you’ve made and treating people like shit who you want to be friends with. Things don’t blow over years later unless someone steps up and apologizes or forgives… And some people aren’t going to forgive and forget when they’re constantly the one asked to let things slide and go a little farther to meet someone on there terms.

I’ve made a brief entry about a friend of mine who came back into my life a few weeks back. It was a total shock to me and there was an underlying bitterness from me – admittedly – when the girl disappeared and never answered snail mail to me and such… What was one of the first things that she did when we started talking again?

She apologized for everything before I even made mention having a problem. I’m a big hearted guy, and someone stepping up goes a long way with me.

When you finally have to answer for something you’ve done, you either have a shit time or you get everything worked out and both sides can move on. Life is not the one-track social deal of take and take. It’s better to fess up to things early instead of avoiding and dragging on, or things will just feaster I’d been trying to drill that into someone’s head and they took it as an insult the last time I did it and generally bitched me out. Of course there was more since that event to add to this resume of bullshit but I won’t repost it here.

You still have to answer for Santino… Some people don’t let attitudes and malignancies blow over after a 2 week vacation, or a couple of months. Especially if they’ve been lied to and abused before.

John Fontana April 21, 2004 al pacino, bitter, bus, business, friends, michael corleone Personal Comments Off

When in doubt…

When pissed off or upset….

When aggrivated and / or bitter

When expecting something that never comes —

Take it out on exercise equipment.

John Fontana April 20, 2004 bitter Personal Comments Off

He's as blind as he can be, See's just what he wants to see

Nowhere man, can you see the truth at all?

John Fontana April 20, 2004 Personal Comments Off

Avoiding Responsibility

There are a couple of news stories I have come across on the Current Events forum on Skyscraperpage that have really got me irked right now, let me give you snippets of both:

Mother sues Coors over son’s death

RENO, Nevada (AP) — The mother of a 19-year-old killed in a traffic accident is suing Coors Brewing Co., claiming that it promotes underage drinking.

Jodie Pisco, of Reno, contends Coors has failed in its duty to protect the country’s youth from drinking. Her son, Ryan, was killed in 2002 after he drank Coors at a party and drove his girlfriend’s car into a light pole at 90 mph, the lawsuit says.

The lawsuit, filed Wednesday in Washoe County District Court, seeks unspecified damages. It accused Coors of “glorifying a culture of youth, sex and glamour while hiding the dangers of alcohol abuse and addiction.”

Story number two….

Columbine Father told to “Get a Life” by NRA
PITTSBURGH (AP) – A man whose son was killed in the Columbine High School shootings literally walked in his child’s shoes to the National Rifle Association convention, where he hoped Vice President Dick Cheney would address the federal assault weapons ban set to expire in September.
Tom Mauser, whose son Daniel was killed with an assault weapon in the Littleton, Colo., killings five years ago Tuesday, said continuing the ban is common sense.

Assault weapons “are the weapons of gangs, drug lords and sick people,” Mauser said before his three-block march to the convention, which runs through Sunday. “It is a weapon of war and we don’t want this war on our streets.”

Mauser challenged Cheney to speak about extending the ban when the vice president delivered the convention’s keynote address Saturday night.

However, there was no indication Saturday afternoon that Cheney would address the matter. He was expected to reaffirm President Bush’s position that the Second Amendment protects individual gun ownership and tout statistics that federal prosecutions of gun-related crimes have risen significantly under Bush’s presidency.

NRA spokesman Andrew Arulanandam called the assault weapon ban “nothing but an incremental effort to ban more firearms.”

…

Mauser entered the convention hall where the NRA was meeting, but was turned away by a security guard as several conventioneers applauded. A couple of conventioneers yelled “Get a life” and “Vote for Bush.”

:mad

I see two articles and I see two Americas. One is a land where soemoen tries to prevent tragedies from hitting other families while another wants to avoid responsibilites One tries to lobby to keep excessively dangerous items out of the mainstream and another triest to immerse themselves in money in order to saturate grief with green.

It angers me to no end.

That mother dodges all parental responsibilities and does not take into account her own failings for her sons death. Didn’t she ever tell him not to drink and drive? To get a ride if you are too intoxicated to drive? or NOT to drink at all? “You’re not old enough yet”? Does this woman think that she is the only one that has lost a child to under-age drinking, much less drinking and driving?

I’m sorry, ma’am, but your lawsuit is full of shit. There is this organization called Mothers Against Drunk Driving that has worked tirelessly to fight drunk driving, promote awareness and — this might scare you off — parental responsibility in keeping minors away from drinking. Instead of wasting hours of time in the courts, why not try to stop the problem before it starts and help others teach their children to be responsible? That would go too far against yoru principles, wouldn’t it? :rolleyes:

Yes, it’s a tragedy what has happened but at the same time it’s a tragedy when someone thinks a lawsuit will help erase their own irresponsibilities will make things all right. Budweiser and other alcoholic companies promote good times when drinking beer and that tends to be the truth… They also have commercials that say KNOW WHEN TO SAY WHEN and DRINK RESPONSIBLY. What will you do when you have this court case thrown out? Sue God for not answering your prayers? :rolleyes

Meanwhile we have Tom Mauser who’s so was murdered in the Columbine rampage. He goes into the lions den and preaches responsibility when talking about an assault weapons ban and what happens? Mauser is ridiculed, belittled and his tragedy overlooked.

I’d like to know where the NRA stands on personal responsibility with weapons and why offensive weapons need to be open to the public just as defensive weapons are? Anyone who tells me an AK-47 is a hunting weapon is full of shit, or that an Uzi is to be used to hunt Elk or some other animal. These are not defensive weapons but are made for carnage and offensive purposes. Someone who is attacking is going to use these not to defend their property but to take yoru own… Stopping these guns from making it out into the open market is a plus… Of course, Dick Cheney and the NRA side with gun makers and will tell you that owners are supposed to be responsible and they shoudln’t be limited into what types of weapons they own…

The problem with that logic is assuming all gun owners are going to be responsible – which they aren’t. There are no licenses in place for gun users and owners, though they do background checks on gun owners to make sure they don’t sell them to criminals, it’s not like once a gun makes it out into public it can’t end up in a criminals hands… And which guns are going to lead to more damage out in public? Assault Weapons killed 13 and injured 25 in columbine… Including Tom Mausers son. For Mauser to be told to get a life over encouraging the continuation of the assault weapons ban is to see how closed minded people are when there minds are made up. “Limiting guns in any way is just working towars a ban and that violates the right to bear arms in teh bill of rights!” Yeah? And when your son or daughter get gunned down, you still will be singing that tune just becuase the NRA is more important than family, isn’t it? :rolleyes

John Fontana April 18, 2004 2002, accident, bus, cnn, cnn.com, Dick Cheney, high school, lawsuit, meeting, news, ownership, presidency, responsibility, school, shoes, Traffic, tragedy Personal Comments Off

A day of Ups and Downs

I’ve been torn this evening on my mood for the day as it has changed over and over again from positive to negative to positive again. I’ve been walking around without the walker today – and when I say that I don’t mean walking and leaning on shit but walking walking a weird walk that was almost toddler like but I was doing it. That had me stoked to no end….

But then the other shoe fell as I got a message from my friend Michelle. Michelle has been a friend for a year now and it came as news to me, and as quite a shock when I found out that she will be moving to Brooksville in July as her family just bought land up there. I’m friend with her dad too and the fact we talk online mostly means I won’t have that relationship bothered much but to lose Michelle hurts.

Of course, this was made up for to me in the smallest of ways as the Lightning beat the Islanders and moved on to the 2nd round of the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs… But that really doesn’t help me feel better that a good friend is going away.

John Fontana April 16, 2004 elation, negative, news, nhl, odd, relationship, walker, walking, weird Personal One Comment »

Cheater?

RonFontana: ders or at least Mark Lindsey the lead, called Arizona. not great but made me think of you, just cause of the title, ever hear it?

I had sent my father a message with regards to the wi fi network and he accidentally sent htat message to me… I think about it and keep reading it over and even though it doesn’t flat out say anything at all, it pisses me off to no end.

My parents 33rd wedding anniversary is on Saturday and if that son of a bitch is cheating on my mom, so help me I will make his life a living hell from this point on… :mad

John Fontana April 15, 2004 accident Personal Comments Off

Walk like a Man

Now John is stumbling around the house a bit — sans a walker.

For the first time in a very long time I am trying to make some headway around the house without a metal walker clutched in my hands… It’s difficult because I am still leaning against things and still walking with stiff legs for some reason or another but its a hell of a lot better than being certain that I would be trapped as a gimp for a long long time.

Further evidence that I am progressing — going shopping and not using a rinky dink electric cart to buzz around the store on Tuesday. That was fab.

John Fontana April 14, 2004 electric, shopping, walker, walking Medical, Personal Comments Off

Segged Out

3:50 this afternoon — give or take a few minutes… I finally saw it in person… I finally got to marvel at the technological wonder known as the Segway Human Transporter.

I went to a guys house here in Palm Harbor and got to see and try the Segway. Not as long as I would have liked to have tried it, but I tried it ever still and I took to it pretty well for someone who has been reading about it for 2 years and hasn’t ever interacted with one.

I won’t call the Segway the vehicle of dreams, nor will I say that the Segway is as bad as certain governments have made it out to be for pedestrians on the sidewalk. The i167 version of the Segway – the one I tried – is a little bulky but at the same time, it isn’t a menace for pedestrians. It isn’t a toy either, though some may make it out to be. For JR – the one who gave me the demo – and myself, it’s an assistant device that’s a damn site better than a wheelchair or motorized-shopping cart that we would be otherwise forced to use.

To dream about something for years and finally have it happen, well it’s a good feeling deep down but it leaves you slightly disappointed for no apparent reason. At least that is the case with me. Maybe that would happen when I met people who I have talked to online for a while, or exactly how I felt after the Bucs won the Super Bowl.

Now I just need an extended glide on one of these things and I’ll make the call if I should get one or not.

John Fontana April 11, 2004 assistive devices, demo, demonstration, segway Personal Comments Off

All Networked Up

I am as happy as a pig in shit right now. For a couple of reasons but first and foremost — because I just solved a bane of my existence.

I paid $160 bucks or close to it for 2 pieces of a WiFi Network — A Router and a Network Adapter — from Linksys. Not bad seeing I could have paid much much more but still a ton of cash at the time.

So I set up the router and then I go down to my father’s computer — mind you this is a few months ago — and I hook up the Network adapter and…

Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Bupkus. Didley Squat. Etc. (thank you Juliane Moore, your Slang Dictionary reading character Electra inspires my alternative words for nothing)

The thing wouldn’t connect to the Internet / the Wi Fi Network. The signal strength could be anywhere from 60-100 percent and nothing was going on. It frustrated the hell out of me to try, try, try, try and have every possible re-configuration amount to shit. Nothing worked. In fact, sometimes when it seemed like it was working – the computer would lock up and you would have to reboot.

I disconnected the router, disconnected the network adapter and wrapped them up and filed them away for a month or two… Which leads me to yesterday and today.

Yesterday my father is talking about going to Verizon DSL service. Now, my father isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer to go along with his other things that piss me off. He talks about Verizon offering a deal to connect ALL of your computers to DSL Internet access for “one low monthly fee” — his exact words, I swear….

I go to Verizon’s site and no where do they offer to hook each individual computer up to DSL Internet Access for one low fee. They offer Fee access the first month, 29.95 for the next two months and 34.99 each following month.

Per – Computer – Connection.

I tell my father this and he doesn’t believe me – he believes the radio ad he heard in his car. I get pissed off and prove him wrong, and show him that not only does Verizon want to get you to use their Internet access but to wire your computers all to the Internet, you have to invest in their own home networking offer as well as the DSL connection.

Ronnie got pissy at this and I got pissed off as well.

So today with my ample spare time I vow to solve this bullshit of the anti-networking WiFi network. I hook up the router again and configure it. I then hook up the network adapter to his computer. Nothing. I am running upstairs and downstairs for 2 hours trying to get this thing to work. Nada…

And then? What happens? I decide to change one frigging’ setting — installing one extra thing that Linksys’ software didn’t automatically install.

POOF — I connect to the Internet on my fathers computer, using my own broadband connection upstairs..

So my Sunday has been eventful. My weekend has been eventful for that matter. I’ll post further about this soon enough but for right now — i will just :woot and end this story

John Fontana April 11, 2004 electronics, existence, internet, links, PSTA, software, verizon, weekend Personal Comments Off

The Rite of Spring

The biggest reason I am glad I am deaf is pointed out by Matt at Defective Yeti

Absolutely no love lost for the fact I can’t be awoken because of mother nature :biggrin

John Fontana April 11, 2004 deaf, love, spring Personal Comments Off

Demo-nation

Anyone who’s read this Blog for a while or has gone through some of my previous posts will know full well that I am interested in the Segway HT. I have yet to see one up close, I am yet to ride one…

Well, that changes tomorrow.

With me gimping around I am really more interested than I had been in the Segway and I started looking into getting a demonstration from somewhere — be it Brookstone in International Plaza mall in Tampa, or talking someone into taking a trip to Orlando and going to Celebration and NEVRLand where the sell these things…

Of course, no one was biting…

So I pouted and just started talking on Segwaychat.com and asking a few questions that I had asked before when I was really talkative on that site…

This morning, to my surprise I got emailed by a Segway owner not more than 4 miles from my house. I was freaked and thrilled when I found out someone has one of those things in Palm Harbor (it seems there are a few with them in North Pinellas) and was more than willing to give a demonstration on how to use a Segway to me. So, tomorrow afternoon I’m taking my first glide ever. I’m stoked, I’m thrilled and I am hoping my body doesn’t screw up the works and make gliding a challenge.

John Fontana April 10, 2004 demonstration, segway HT Personal Comments Off

Just write already!!!

Here I am — someone who can blog through his ass and back again and a wanna’ be story teller and what has happened? My shit attitude on top of some creative shortcomings has limited me when it comes to actually doing any writing.

I’ve struggled with a few paragraphs of an existing story… A story I need to finish which is dragging on. Me and Tim did some brainstorming what could happen to close out the story and we came up with a conclusion That I think I can work with…

Or can i?

The most difficult thing in storytelling after figuring out what you want to do is getting there… And once you get there, how you are going to draw your story to an end… It’s especially tough when you write about real life or something that could have happened in reality. Reality doesn’t end with “The End”, it goes on and on and a story can be drawn out into more stories or additional info about a tale.

I was stupid enough to paint myself into that corner when I started writing this fable which I am semi-proud of.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to get my ass in gear and try to finish this thing up.

John Fontana April 9, 2004 rain, Writing Creative Writing Comments Off

Wit's End

I keep stating to friends that I am at wit’s end right now. I am waking up in the morning with no idea why I should get out of bed. I read the paper and maybe have a bite to eat when I DO get out of bed and then there is nothing else for me — the day is me gimping around or on the computer, both of which I get sick of.

I said a few months ago on here that i thought I saw a light at the end of the tunnel with regards to rehabbing and getting better from previous operations – but it’s a deceptive light. I’ve gotten to the point where I’m still dependent on the walker and it’s making me fear going out and doing or attempting to do — or just flat out holding me back. Psychologically, that is…

Things gotta improve – they just gotta… I don’t know how much more of the down I can take without a blast of the UP, so to speak.

John Fontana April 6, 2004 fear, friends, walker Personal Comments Off

Try, Try again

Trying once again with Worth1000.com — I’ll probably come out middle of the pack on this one if not low… I think I did a good job photoshopping this image but there are TONS of outstanding entries.

John Fontana April 2, 2004 photoshop, shopping, worth1000 Personal Comments Off

Yes I suck, but I try…

Graphic Manipulation is a bitch…

Just look at my piss poor Worth 1000 entry…..

**sigh** buttons and graphics are one thing but making things look realistic while they are complete fake isn’t.

John Fontana March 30, 2004 photoshop, worth1000 Personal Comments Off

Losers with nothing better to do….

How pathetic?

A little troll with the IP address 168.213.1.133 posts about 1000 times under an entry in this blog to tell me I’m “Gay” and that my “mama is gay”.

To whoever has this intelligence deficit — thanks for your comments and showing how pathetic both you and your high school are…. I mean, you posted 30 times in about 5 minutes? Boy you must be bored. You also must be pretty insecure or pathetic (how about both) if you have to post stupid shit to try to slander another high school…

Just wondering, did you even attempt to read the post you were replying to? Or were you just responding to the title because you couldn’t understand the big words I used? :rolleyes

John Fontana March 29, 2004 comments, high school, school Personal Comments Off

The Death of a DVD Player

I’ve alluded before on Der Stonegauge that I was an early adopter of the DVD format. In 1998 I had the money to blow so I went out and got a player before the format even took a firm hold on society. Over the years, my Panasonic DVD-A105 has shown hundreds of hours of DVD video in high quality without a ton of bells and whistles like some of the new models that come out. It isn’t a progressive scan DVD player, it doesn’t have digital zoom, or a hard drive or whatever… it’s just a solid machine that has gone the distance time and again.

I bought Star Wars original trilogy (pirates :p) on DVD when the problems really started with my player. I attempted to play each movie and I had “digital breakdowns”, so to speak. I had been noticing the machine acting funny lately besides that (even though I clean it regularly) and just giving a few more problems than normal…

Well, Star Wars seemingly did a number on the machine. I tried playing Gladiator last night and what happened was… well, I couldn’t get past certain chapters due to digital breakdown on a clean DVD along with several messages telling me I had no disc in the machine while I did.

I bought condensed air to clean my machine, I ran my DVD laser cleaner, I tried running those DVDs again and the same problems came up. The machine would lock up while having the tough time reading the discs and end up ejecting the DVD from the machine or just plain turning off.

Sadly, I knew that my 5+ year old Panasonic is on it’s last legs…

I started looking at new players today seriously with regards to replacing my machine… And as I was sitting down to write this entry, my brother dumped a new Toshiba. Personally I would have preferred to find my own system but… Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, ya know?

John Fontana March 27, 2004 dvd, electronics, gift, Panasonic, review, reviews, Star wars Personal, Testimonials Comments Off

Curiously strong…. breath strips??

Nice, Altoid’s now offers breath-strips much like my fave Listerine Cool Mint breath strips…

John Fontana March 23, 2004 trip Personal, Testimonials Comments Off

Whattaya say?

I came across someone I had been searching for over the last seven years on Classmates.com just now… Someone i used to have a mad crush on and someone I was too scared to admit I was interested in.

But that was 10th grade and High School… A long long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. Or seven miles and almost 10 years.

At any rate, it got me to thinking about what you would say to someone you haven’t seen in such a long time? What would you talk about with them? Would you just come clean about things that happened last time you talked? Or old problems that might have been left unsolved between you?

Or would you start fresh like the three examples below?

“Hi, how’s it going?”
“Nice shoes, wanna fuck?”
“Excuse me, you look so familiar and I was wondering if you could tell me if this dress makes my ass look big?”

I came across this girl’s aunt online in 1999 and I had the opportunity to get in touch with her but passed on it. Why? Fear in part, and also because I didn’t want to rear my head back into her life while she certainly has a life of her own that I am not even a thought in. Time passes and things fade away — but memories and feelings aren’t so easily pushed into oblivion. I’m not planning on paying Classmates in order to get in touch with the girl for the same reasons… My interest is piqued though, for the moment.

Edit to Entry: Better question than the WHATTAYA SAY — How would you react if someone from High School suddenly dropped in on your life? SOmeone you ahven’t spoken to since then…?

John Fontana March 22, 2004 fear, high school, Poetry, school, shoes Personal Comments Off

Happy Birthday to You…

White House staff organize surprise party for President to mark one-year anniversary of Iraq War | GWBush04.com

Washington â€” White House staffers arranged a well-deserved surprise party for President Bush today, in honor of the one-year anniversary of the Iraq War. Invited guests arrived at the White House in secret, and shocked the President with cheers of â€œHappy Anniversaryâ€ in the normally quiet and reserved Roosevelt Room.

Wonder if they did an honorary reading of “The Hungry Little Caterpillar” to make George a happy boy?

John Fontana March 21, 2004 George W. Bush, Iraq, satire Personal Comments Off

Note to Internet Chatters

You CANNOT hold a conversation by having “Hi”, “N/M J/C” and “Hello?!!” as your entire vocabulary online. If you can’t hold a conversation or won’t try to talk to someone, you are better off either in a chat room or just offline, period.

John Fontana March 20, 2004 chat, conversation, internet Personal Comments Off

The Theory

You ever realize how much more likely it is for a person to come online and treat others like total shit and act like assholes? You get it on message boards, you get it on web sites, you get it in journals, you get it in chat room, you get it from web cams and the like — I’ve seen it all…

Gabe and Tycho posted another strip up that displays just what I am talking about.. Simple and straight forwards and scarily accurate.

I’ve heard from my female friends old and new about guys and how they wills tart off conversations with women on here — and it just surprises the hell out of me but like the cartoon says, the anonymity gives a great reason to try it — you can get away with it and might even get lucky with some kinky conversation.

And I’ve experienced it first hand with a few who are more, shall we say, sexually open who follow the “Greater Internet Fuckwad Theory” to a T.

The Internet Fuckwad – it’s what America is doing online.

John Fontana March 20, 2004 cartoon, chat, conversation, friends, HP, internet, trip, web cam, web site, web sites Personal Comments Off

At least I was honest

Tuesday, my mom breaks the news to me that my brother Andrew’s dog had a litter of 3 puppies the night before.

I was sort of taken aback by this news — I didn’t know the sexes of Andy’s dogs to begin with, I didn’t know one of the dogs had become pregnant and I had no idea in hell that one of these dogs had given birth.

“So, his dogs have been screwing, huh?” was my immediate response… It earned me a blank stared and a gasped-like chuckle that lasted for several minutes…

When you don’t know the full story, folks, stick with the facts you do know… :smile

John Fontana March 19, 2004 dog, news Personal Comments Off

To continue the Gluttony trend of stories…

McDonald’s Salad Has More Fat Than Cheeseburger

LONDON (Reuters) – Global hamburger giant McDonald’s latest line in healthy looking salads may contain more fat than its hamburgers, according to the company’s Web Site.

McDonald’s, plagued by health critics and flattening sales, has launched the biggest change to its menu in 30 years with its plans to get into the multi-million pound prepared salad market.

“You can choose your salad, topping and dressing. You can mix and match to suit your diet and lifestyle,” said a McDonald’s spokeswoman.

However, consumers hoping to lose weight by switching from burgers to salads may be disappointed, according to the Interactive Nutrition Counter on the McDonald’s Web site.

For example, on the new menu to be launched at the end of this month, a “Caesar salad with Chicken Premiere” contains 18.4 grams of fat compared with 11.5 grams of fat in a standard cheeseburger.

The British Nutrition Foundation (BNF) told Reuters it welcomed the salad menu but warned that salad dressings bought in fast-food outlets or supermarkets could be very high in fat and calories.

BNF said the recommended daily fat intake for men is 95 grams per day and for women 70 grams per day.

Good thing I avoid McDonalds — that shit just ain’t healthy… For ANYONE

John Fontana March 10, 2004 mcdonalds, news, sale, sales, supermarket, supermarkets, web site, yahoo Personal Comments Off

Oh so patiently

Mr. Postman, look and see — a couple of packages, packages for me….

I got word Monday morning that my little bundle of joy is going to be returned to me this week. Yes after more than a month I will get my Playstation 2 back. *a warm and contented sigh is issued by John*.

Meanwhile, I also blew a wad of cash on 3 DVD’s — 3 special DVD’s because they are non Special Edition DVD’s. Yes they are PIRATED DVD’s but they are special none-the-less because HAN SHOOTS FIRST! What the hell am I talking about? The original Star Wars Trilogy on DVD which I bought off Ebay. Yes, the Special Edition/ official release of films will be on DVD this fall but I didn’t care for the Special Editions to begin with.

Han shoots first and no girlie screams when Luke and the Emperor fall to their respected dooms. *a warm and contented sigh is issued by John*

:smile

John Fontana March 10, 2004 CGI, dvd, ebay, film, films, playstation 2, respect, Star wars Entertainment Industry Thingies, Personal Comments Off

This just leads to one major question

Obesity, it is being reported everywhere, is fast approaching smoking as the #1 killer among Americans.

I’ve already gone off on this topic and my views on it, but seriously folks, with this “epidemic” going way out of control…

Where the fuck is Jane Fonda and her god damned workout tapes?!?

America needs you Jane! Get off your flabby ass and save us!!! :smile j/k

John Fontana March 10, 2004 news Personal Comments Off

"Screen" Gems

I was hanging around the house yesterday morning when I got a call — which is a rare event because I NEVER get a call. Especially a TDD call. So after the initial freak out and such I finally got my bearings and found out it was Mark from SkyscraperPage. I alluded to some things on here months ago but I never really described them — well, until now.

Mark and me have been friends on the SkyscraperPage forum for a while – we knew each other but we didn’t really KNOW each other until I got real depressed after my operation in August. (one link but a bunch of stories on the subject in the past). I had been real down over a few things going on at the time and had talked about that stuff on SSP. I started finding relief by writing in here and Mark, a fellow writer, had been started chiming in on the forum after I made mention of the writing. We got to talking and I found out he was a screenwriter and a bit more. He was interested in my story after some private communications and we’ve been talking a bit about me and some story ideas since then.

Well, Mark had also told me he’d be in the Bay area in March of 2004 and at the time of the call — Mark was here :smile. We set up a little encounter this afternoon and I just rambled for him some points about myself and what I have gone through. Anecdotes and what not from my life and about who I am. We were doing this over coffee at a new place I discovered not too too far from my house. Looks really cool and I am hoping to be able to hang out with a few of my friends there in the future.

Anyway, back to the story. I told him of a few things – like giving him some details I could remember from the Beatles Lyrics incident, some anecdotes from childhood and growing up, moving down to Clearwater and such. It was fun to ramble like that but sorta awkward too. You couldn’t imagine a story about dear old John appearing in film, could you?

Didn’t think so :wink.

When I am out west next time (not sure when) I need to meet up with him again to keep going over things and just build. He’s got a ton of notes to work with and research if he wants. H also has a ton of work to do as is :tongue. Patience, John, Patience….

John Fontana March 9, 2004 childhood, Clearwater, coffee, communication, communications, film, friends, hang out, lyrics, the Beatles, Writing Personal Comments Off

King Gimp

Oh, the life of a walker-bound sports fan…

Last night me, Michelle, her brother Geoff and one of Geoff’s friends attend the Lightning vs. Devils game at Times Palace. The game itself was a bore for the most part but the company was real good.

What sucked was getting to and from the arena.

I haven’t walked through a cityscape with this walker and my first experience with that was last night – it’s tough folks. It’s even tougher getting into an arena without knowing the access points for cripples and gimps… No offense intended towards the disabled.

And leaving the building? Don’t get me started…

John Fontana March 6, 2004 friends, Sports, The Life, walker Medical, Personal, Sports, Testimonials Comments Off

Can it be…?

Stranger things have happened but after a couple of years of silence I think I just heard from someone I knew on here….

John Fontana March 5, 2004 strange Personal One Comment »

Return receipt — It’s alive! ALIVE!!!

Found! My Precious is FOUND!!!

Yes, kiddies, Johnny is a happy camper right now not so much because the Lightning eeked out a win last night in Chicago, not because it’s a bright and glorious day outside.

Nope. None of those things matter.

What does Matter is that I got a return receipt from Sony with regards to my Playstation 2! It (finally) arrived at one of their Service Centers on Monday. Now, if the machine gets repaired and returned to me is another story, but I am happy as a clam to know that the machine isn’t lost in the mail like I had worried.

John Fontana March 4, 2004 playstation 2, repairs Personal Comments Off

My Understanding of Truth… Ok, HIS Understanding of Truth

My Understanding Of Truth
By John M. Chambers*

“I will show you fear in a handful of dust.” – T.S. “BUTCH” ELIOT

“My first thought was, he lied in every word.” – ROBERT “SUNDANCE” BROWNING

The gunslinger is the truth.
Roland is the truth.
The Prisoner is the truth.
The Lady of Shadows is the truth.
The Prisoner and the Lady are married. That is the truth.
The Waystation is the truth.
The Speaking Demon is the truth.
We went under the mountains and that is the truth.
There were monsters under the mountain. That is the truth.
One of them had an Amoco gas pump between his legs and was pretending it was his penis. That is the truth.
Roland let me die. That is the truth.
I still love him.
That is the truth.

When is a door not a door? When it’s a jar, and that is the truth.
Blaine is the truth.
Blaine is the truth.
What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck, and that is the truth.
Blaine is the truth.
You have to watch Blaine all the time, Blaine is a pain, and that is the truth.
I’m pretty sure that Blaine is dangerous, and that is the truth.
What is black and white and red all over? A blushing zebra, and that is the truth.
Blaine is the truth.
I want to go back and that is the truth.
I have to go back and that is the truth.
I’ll go crazy if I don’t go back and that is the truth.
I can’t go home again unless I find a stone a rose a door and that is the truth.
Choo-choo, and that is the truth.
Choo-choo. Choo-choo.
Choo-choo. Choo-choo. Choo-choo.
Choo-choo. Choo-choo. Choo-choo. Choo-choo.
I am afraid. That is the truth.
Choo-choo.

*from Stephen King’s “The Wastelands”, part of the Dark Tower saga

Choo Choo and all that jazz… Ya gotta love this 😀

John Fontana March 4, 2004 Blaine the Mono, gunslinger, Jake Chambers, John Chambers, Robert "Sundance" Browning, Roland Deschain, stephen king, T.S. "Butch" Eliot, The Dark Tower, The Gunslinger, The Lady of Shadows, The Prisoner, The Wastelands, TS Eliot Personal, Reading 3 Comments »

Knights of the Old Republic

Well, what happened with Johnny when he lost his Grand Theft Auto: Vice City and Playstation 2?

He started playing with his Christmas presents…

I had received to different computer games to bide my time with at Christmas but I hadn’t installed them until mid January and barely played the first one. The second one was Sim City 4 and that was fun but it gets old fast.

So I went back to the first game I got / installed — Star Wars, Knights of the Old Republic

This game is usually heralded by gamers for it’s challenges and it’s depth, and I have to agree with that. I am not a hardcore gamer, nor will I ever know the depth and versatility of Video Games like, say, Gabe and Tycho over at Penny Arcade… But for me, Knights of the Old Republic was truly a fun game and a challenge… And personally? Thinking of the story line (well, there are several alternate story-lines, mind you, but for the sake of the argument – the one that has the main character a Jedi Knight and not a Sith Lord) could very well serve as a movie… No, not another one tied to the destiny of the original or prequel Star Wars trilogies…. A new movie with a stress on PREQUEL – no ties to the movies you know besides Sith Lords, Jedi Knights and Tatoonie.

I won’t publish any tips or hints here (how can I? I suck :p but I will guide any KOTOR gamers who are stuck to Gamebanshee… They were my savior at certain points in this game and I am looking forward to playing it again sometime in the future — just not yet. Not yet indeed.

Oh, one thing that sorta bummed me out at the end — the hero doesn’t get the girl! It ends up sorta like the end of the original Star Wars movie with a medal ceremony… And yet there is this small buildup of a relationship between one character and another and at the end — nothing happens! No kiss, no hug, no admittance of feelings… Nothing! Nada! Zip! Zero! Zilch! Ugh, how unforfilling! Oh well, it’s only a computer game…..

John Fontana March 3, 2004 christmas, computer games, elation, grand theft auto, penny arcade, playstation 2, relationship, Star wars, vice city, video game, video games Personal, Testimonials 2 Comments »

All right, I admit it, I am coming out about it….

I think… uh… I might be straight, everyone.

I know this comes as a shock to you all but it’s more shocking to me than any of you. I don’t know how I will live with myself – being drawn to the opposite sex and all that….

I think I might be straight flyer from the Gator Gay-Straight Alliance.

(thanks to Lies.com for this hilarious and entertaining flyer — this is not a bigoted post, just humor. No offense is intended and… well, shit… If you’re offended, lighten up)

John Fontana March 3, 2004 humor Personal Comments Off

Get a better Page(r) on things…

Let’s see how much of an entry I can write through my pager, shall we?

Oh, I’m not posting this through my pager but I am writing it on my pager, and then sending it to my email account and THEN copying it, pasting it, and posting it on Der Stonegauge.

As if I’d have nothing better to do with my time? :tongue

So here we are on Wednesday, I have an eye appointment in a little bit, seems my eye is infected and that is screwing up the works. But first and foremost? LUNCH…. Well, seeing it’s 2PM maybe this should be called something else? You know, sorta like “Snack time” like you had in Elementary School.

I’m heading to my first Lightning game of the season on Friday with Michelle. I would have gone sooner but I’m a gimp and climbing the risers would be tough. Michelle’s been bored out of her mind lately and her boyfriend is working so — good company and great hockey is what will be going on Friday.

“Not a date, definately not a date.” Vincent Vega, Pulp Fiction

John Fontana March 3, 2004 elementary school, pulp fiction, school, Writing Personal Comments Off

Troubled Waters

Something’s been bothering me for a while and I have put off talking about it in here for the sake of being a lazy shit – I’ve planned to write about it for a while but I just haven’t gotten around to doing it. It’s something that affects my family – or at least a member of my family – directly while the rest of my family is affected by it indirectly.

(Side positive note – at least it’s not a problem I am facing that is coming down on the rest of my family…. For a change :tongue )

No, this problem is affecting Andy directly. My younger brother who lives on his own with his girlfriend and her two kids. And even with this problem, it’s not Andy himself who is inflicted with the problem – he’s just the one who has to carry part of the blunt weight of this problem on his shoulders.

You see, Andy’s girlfriend’s son, Austin, has a bit of a problem right now… Something inside isn’t right and I don’t mean some type of disease like I have – but emotionally and possibly mentally not right. He has always pissed me off a bit for not understanding me and the fact I can’t understand him, he’s always come off a little hyper as well and I figured like “that”, you know?

But, and I am not fully aware of what is going on so believe me when I say this can be very inaccurate… Austin is having “rages” of sorts. He’s four years old and, instead of temper tantrums, he is going into fits of kicking, screaming, biting, clawing and such and then when it’s over he has no memory of what happened. Someone suggested the kid might be bi-polar at four-years-old?

And I experienced some of his oddities last time he was over here that sorta pissed me off at the time. He woke me up as I was taking a nap — staring at me and just making me notice him… He also went into hiding in my brother’s empty bedroom… Hiding behind the door. I noticed he was there and I started asking him why he was there. No response. No, he just started shutting the door and I wanted to know what was up. The kids (Austin and his sister, Elizabeth) aren’t supposed to be upstairs when they aren’t with someone… I asked, he pushed the door closed. I pushed back and he pushed harder. Now, the only problem with this is I am the gimpy one right now — still rehabbing and such…

I ended up getting pissed off and just shouting, “Fine kid! Fine!” I was already upset with how I had been “treated” that night and wanted no part of finding out what was going on with Austin….

But now I feel real bad if he is really… unstable? Not just for Austin himself (being one that knows the troubles of growing up afflicted) but for Andy and his GF. It’s a load of weight for him to carry on his shoulders at 23 and I certainly wou8ldn’t want to be in that situation…

I pray that he can get through it and come out on top.

John Fontana February 28, 2004 odd, PSTA Personal Comments Off

The Roundup

Haven’t said very much about me lately and where I stand on a lot of issues — well, not politics and such but me me me…

Selfish? Maybe — this is my web site however so…

Lets see — I did say I felt like a Nowhere Man yesterday and that is indeed the truth to things — maybe that’s feeling sorry for myself as I try to rehab but it feels like the truth. I got nothing going on, no idea where I am going to, etc…

Meanwhile, what’s going on with my writing? I’ll tell you exactly what is going on — nothing. Sadly at that. I can’t get the get-go to write, and I can’t finalize stories. I still have two assignments to do for the Long Ridge Writers Group and I can’t quite do them :sad

I am supposed to start outpatient therapy next week which is certainly a plus – it’ll get me out of the house 3 times a week and help me attain my goal of getting my ass back into shape… The only problem is, when I get back to being a mobile being, I still have both physical and mental obstacles to overcome… And social, can’t forget social…

John Fontana February 27, 2004 assignment, long ridge writers group, mobile, Politics, web site, Writing Medical, Personal Comments Off

Wedding Announcement Cover Boy

Ain’t it cool? I have one of my poems going on the cover of my friend Raquel’s wedding announcement list… because it’s about a beach wedding…

Roc, as we call her, is going to mail me a copy just so I can see how it came out on the announcement list.

John Fontana February 24, 2004 poem Poetry One Comment »

…ebbs cross my memory's face

Everything comes crashing down for me tonight because of the most mundane and stupid stuff, but it still happens becasue of memories and awareness.

A hockey game, an article in Sports Illustrated and I have a mini panic attack (well, not exactly – just got upset). Thinking of places and people and things past… And the blunt traum a of my heart having to let go.

Thing slike this used to occur to me a lot of the time, clouding my thoughts no matter what I did. Fortunately it doesn’t happen that much or at all. BUt still – things got bad enough tonight for me to write about it here in order to get it out of my head….

John Fontana February 19, 2004 Sports, sports illustrated Personal Comments Off

LOST!! My Precious is LOST!!!

No not my ring, I know where that is….

No, not that precious either -it was never lost…

No, it’s my Playstation 2. It’s lost. As in missing. As in out of place. As i don’t know WHERE the hell it is right now.

I sent it to Sony on January 30th along with a C note to pay repair costs. I forgot to add some information they requested and that helped lead the way for it getting lost. Next, I can’t track the package thanks to the USPS not automatically giving package tracking to the box…. Strike two.

Thirdly? The check — the C note — hasn’t cleared with my bank yet, meaning they haven’t had the check return, no one has tried cashing it.

Strike three, yer out!

There is still hope, that being time. I don’t know how long it takes Sony to go through items in it’s tech service centers…

But for the time being, I am upset. Woah is me. Lost, my precious is lost!

And I was having so much FUN too with Grand Theft Auto: Vice City… :sad

John Fontana February 18, 2004 grand theft auto, meaning, playstation 2, USPS, vice city Personal Comments Off

Winter? Over?

I’m full of shit, I admit it… .

day after I post those lyrics — sixty degrees in Tampa… Same for tomorrow.

Fun :tongue That’s a warm temperature to most people – but for someone not living with ultra-cold all winter, it is chilly enough to suggest winter is still here.

John Fontana February 18, 2004 lyrics, temperature Personal Comments Off

The Whereabouts of a certain writer..

Where’s John been?

Last entry before my little ode to bitter-singles day was on the 8th of this month. That’s a virtual eon with how I’ve been conducting things on the site since last March….

Well, to be honest, I figured “Who actually reads this” and didn’t figure I needed to tell anything… Hell, I had nothing to tell besides passing thoughts that I let wander away… that and maybe a post or two that went on Boltsmag. Nothing important. Nothing relevant.

John Fontana February 14, 2004 bitter Personal Comments Off

A Year Ago

A year ago, I was in love.

Yes John was in love.

And it was the beginning of the end of that love and the first signs of a shit year that I was due to have.

Put off, led on, put off, strung along, that is how I would term things and how they’ve been with a former friend and former desire. Someone who I felt so comfortable with and yet even when the relationship seemed so mutual – it wasn’t. No, there was this underlying, unspoken dread that never came out honestly. The shifting, the bullshitting, the tap-dancing around issues… You would have thought that George W. Bush or one of his administration officials were in charge of running things between us…

You would think that at least I could have retained a friend through all this but that isn’t the case either. No, someone stopped being a friend when they were too tense to deal with me in a time of need. My bitter beginning of my resurrection post is an ode to that.

But where am i now? In the realm of bitterness, I can’t help but think about the past and think about the good times over the bad. I can’t help but think of the dreams and the past wants. Then I remember some of the things said and done and I just have it handed to me, the fact that the past is dead and done with. It’s been tossed to the garbage and only given passing thoughts by parties who were involved within these events, thoughts, memories, desires, etc.

I’ve kept my silence about things for a few months – though bitterness has been with me throughout over things and how they came to pass and such. That’s the one thing that won’t be acknowledged or thought highly of by anyone but it’s one moral standing that I’ve kept throughout the good times and bad – I’ve tried to take the high road with things even when I find out the ridiculous is the truth. I’ve given extra chances and wanted for those chances to work out but alas, the old proverb “Hurt me once – shame on you, hurt me twice – shame on me” held true.

Here’s to the lonely hearts out there, and those who regret their actions in the past…. Here’s to those who cherish what they have, and those who cherish what they chase. Here’s to those who face up to things, and here’s to those who realize they’ve got more than they deserve….

Happy Valentines Day

John Fontana February 14, 2004 bitter, bus, elation, George W. Bush, love, regret, relationship, ridiculous, valentines, valentines day Personal, Web Sites of Mine Comments Off

Pathetic…

FOXNews.com – Foxlife – TV Viewer Sues Over Janet Bra-Ha-Ha

Bank worker Terri Carlin (search) wants compensation for herself and millions of viewers “injured” by the lewd behavior of Jackson and fellow performer Justin Timberlake (search) during Sunday’s Super Bowl coverage.

On Wednesday Carlin filed a proposed class-action lawsuit in federal court in Knoxville, Tenn., against Jackson, Timberlake, broadcasters MTV and CBS and their parent company, Viacom.

Give me a break… This woman is just as pathetic – an opportunist – as a lawyer who chases after Ambulances in search of clients, or a hot woman who mariries a rich guy just before his death to inherit cash (hi Anna Nicole!)….

John Fontana February 7, 2004 CBS, lawsuit, MT, news, opportunist Personal Comments Off

Ah-chooooooo

Where there’s spring, there’s pollen….

Where there’s pollen, there’s allergies….

Where there’s allergies, there’s John…

John Fontana February 6, 2004 poll, spring Personal Comments Off

It could be, it might be… it is?!

THe scent of pollen is in the air, things are starting to take a greener shade and of course there is a warm snap here….

It looks and smells like spring in Florida… It’s only the first week of February and spring seems to be here…

Pitchers and catchers report soon, of course, which underlines this fact… Valentines Day is also fast approaching which usually is spring-ish here (spring love and all that BS)…

Ah yes, the long and dry season will give away to a drier season here in the SUnshine state until it gets too friggin hot to enjoy the Florida sun…

(that’ll be April :tongue )

John Fontana February 5, 2004 florida, love, poll, spring, valentines, valentines day Personal Comments Off

Good day sunshine

It’s been a long time since I had myself a good day…. Just a positive day with the outlook actually better than it had been.

Of course, last time I had a stellar day was the day I came home from the hospital two months ago to the day. Of course, the good day I am talking about was yesterday so it isn’t 2 months ago to the day but… Oh, technicalities :tongue.

Yesterday wasn’t good because of something happening, it was just a good vibe in general over my life again. The “distant light” that I alluded to back in January is about 15 feet in front of me now — as the Goal I set for myself might be a little hint on that. I’m not sure on my feet but I can stand on my own, I’ve been practicing walking, I’ve been getting out on my own.

I’m thinking about trying to do things again that involve me getting out of the house — wondering how long it will be before i am fully capable of it. Going to work? Visiting my friend Bill in Orlando? Taking in a Lightning game (I am chafing at the bit over that one)?

Spring is clearly in the air here in Florida and I just have that positive vibe starting to surround me again in some ways and not in others. It’s good to feel positive for a change and not just dull wonder….

John Fontana February 4, 2004 florida, spring, walking Personal Comments Off

Setting a goal

I’ve got 28 days before my next appointment (well, practically 27 now but that’s besides the point).

I’m trying to set a goal for myself for that one. I want to walk, unassisted, into the doctor’s office. That’s a tall order for me as I am sitting here right now — but it is something I can accomplish. I’m sure of it.

Time will tell.

John Fontana February 2, 2004 Medical Comments Off

GROUNDHOG DAY!!

Like it or not, this thing will just keep repeating and repeating and repeating until you get it right…

(if you weren’t aware, “get it right” was meant to mean mosey along in your web browsing……)

John Fontana February 2, 2004 Movies, Personal Comments Off

Just a classic poem for a classic thought

Where She Went…

Were she went, I’ll never know
What a shame, My shame alone
Do you now how she feels?
Like a warm leather glove,
On a cold winters day

John Fontana January 29, 2004 love, poem Poetry Comments Off

Thinking of taking a (hockey) Dive….

I used to write, a long long time ago, for a hockey publication.. A local one… One that had a good little mix of local readers and local fans talking it up and hanging out on the site…

This of course was a crappy Rivals.com site but it worked. It had a dedicated owner, a dedicated set of fans and a couple of kids (including me) who wanted to do what they could to get noticed and get published and what not….

I’d like to try setting something like that up again…. But an MT version of it… (meaning a journal report on the Lightning if it’s possible).

It IS possible, the thing is I am not a great writer — well, it’s not exactly writing as so much reporting and I am a worse reporter than I am a writer… Why? I can’t get to locations to report… Not only hat but when I DO report, I get the information wrong…

I’d love to have a site, though, dedicated to one of the local sports teams and with a team of fans to help report on the team…. The Lightning is the best team to achieve that with, as the Buccaneers want to keep everything in house and the Devil Rays happen to resent their fans with a vengence….

A Tampa Bay Lightning fan site while the Lightning are getting ready for their next playoff push might be fantastic to launch… Though it also might be suicide seeing the NHL is on a collision course with the Apocalypse.

John Fontana January 27, 2004 cane, devil rays, love, meaning, MT, nhl, Sports, Tampa Bay, Writing Creative Writing, Sports 2 Comments »

Typing is an adventure, reading should be too!