Choices are what defines our life and is an integral part of what drives us. Other’s choices have helped define you as a human being and helped form your habits. Your own choices have defined you up until this point in life – where you are reading this journal entryRead More

Not much to report (well there are things but I would rather not make mention of them). I enjoyed watching the final few minutes (half hour) of the Tour De France stage 15 yesterday… Of all championships Lance has won, this was the first I had really sat down andRead More

Everyone knows about getting a song stuck in your head, or has suffered it at one point or another… Sitting around and suddenly the opening verse from The Facts Of Life just will not escape from your head (You take the good, you take the bad, you take them bothRead More

I controlled my dreaming last night / this morning. i don’t mean one or two degrees of it, I mean I totally controlled my dreaming (or so it felt like). It’s hard for me to remember anything at this point besides certain details – Vincent Lecavalier putting salmon (dead salmon)Read More

Thought – it’s your enemy… It’s also your greatest ally because if you don’t think you end up doing things you regret or things that hurt other people… Or yourself for that matter. What am I thinking about that happens to be my enemy? Hmm? Politics…. Anything and everything thatRead More

You know what? It’s been a year (physically and on the calender) since I Had a jarring event in my life — very jarring in fact. Something that shook me and also sort of encouraged me becuase I played with the big boys and I stood my ground (at leastRead More

OK, so I did it. I think I did it anyway. I had been screwing around with a design that incorporated Moveable Type on the site like what Kill the Web has, or much like what Howard Dean is using on Blog for America. What’s the benefits of this anyway?Read More

Sometimes you never want to face up to someone’s argument when you are on the opposite side of the door of an issue when it’s full of bullshit speculation. At least that’s how I am feeling right now. I do not want to put up with someone trying to argueRead More

Finally I get some help after bitching about falling forward. I turn out the lights and I fall forward. I cover up my eyes while I am free standing and I fall forward. I pull off my shirt and I fall forward or backward. My leg may not have "givenRead More

Well, I’ve been out of touch and out of taste with my journal entries lately because of what is becoming very futile with my Moveable Type transition. Complex coding and greater HTML know-how is required in order to successfully use the alternate journal (I don’t know Cascading Style Sheets andRead More

I just got finished watching Adaptation and.. well… you look at the hour this was posted and you can judge me a bunch of different ways because of it. “John’s still having problems sleeping, eh?” “He really shouldn’t have had Pizza Hut last night, it messes up your insides.” “I’mRead More

I didn’t get to sleep last night until… well. this morning. It must have been 5 AM when I finally conked out. Pretty shitty if I do say so myself. I woke up around nine and stayed in bed until 10…. And yet I am still going strong right nowRead More

I want to rant about commitment and things like that right now and people’s fear on it because — well, there’s just some of it around from a few different people and it’s more of the same in my humble opinion. More of the same that I’ve already been exposedRead More

I could continue to rant about my health situation or my current writing assignment but instead I wanted to bring up some old writing for the sake of just filling this entry up with something besides the same-old stuff. One thing about “Staying drunk on writing” as Bradbury didn’t say,Read More

So I was up at an hour that is between dawn and lunch… I couldn’t tell, it was all such a blur to me that my "wake up" shower lasted 20 minutes with me mumbling as I scrubbed and thinking of things and people instead of focusing on my dayRead More

I’ve been thinking of the Doors a lot lately. I downloaded video music clips a few months ago off Kazaa Lite and of course i have been enjoying them (even though the audio is ratty on Light My Fire performed at the Ed Sullivan Show) to no end. Moonlight Drive,Read More

Yesterday wasn’t one of my better days, unfortunately. Yesterday confirmed to me that I am in deep shit with my health and that Monday’s appointment with Doctor Smith (you do NOT know how long I’ve been looking for a picture of him online)has to be pressed for action with myRead More

WE hold these Truths to be self-evident, that all Men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness — That to secure these Rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just PowersRead More

I’m not feeling great again today, and I’m blaming it partly on the antihistamine I took last night to deal with sinus pressure. I want to know WTF is wrong with me… And what would be easier, putting me out of my misery or giving me a cure? Speaking ofRead More

I don’t get it. I honestly don’t fucking get this. How come an opinionated asshole like myself has written dozens of rants on topics from local roads to Dubya and had them published as letters to the editor in the newspaper, has had thousands of rants (be they sports relatedRead More

This is one of those days where I’ve had a bunch of thoughts come to my mind and pass on into oblivion. I did more reading of Stupid White Men today and it made me think to run for political office this time. It wasn’t the fact that Michael MooreRead More

What is it with Bill Frist and other like minded, conservatives who fear Homosexuals? Why are these perverts so obsessed with homosexuality? Frist’s declaration of support for a constitutional amendment against Gay Marriage just seems to be saying is, “Hi! I can’t stop thinking about men having sex with eachRead More

Have you seen this boy?

I was debating writing this here on my own journal or on Kill The Web but I figured I am having such a shitty day that having a topic to write about in here was going to be impossible unless I thought up something like this… A couple of yearsRead More

I signed up with Act For Change web site a few years ago to protest stuff going on with the election – and then with some of Bush’s choices for government. Working Assets is supposed to be a sit that tries to rally citizens to do things for the betterRead More

The Air of Destiny The air of destiny Often starts as a odorless breeze Lacking resemblence of what it will become Time passes, fools come into power Rivers forge new banks with the spring flood And the scent lingers on the air Guiding its minions and revelars on a collisionRead More

I started out yesterday just going through the motions on things – it progressively got better until I went off on Bill but in a constructive manner… Telling him he needs to stop talking / focusing on the negatives so much and find a positive and look forward to aRead More

As of starting this writing, there are a lot of things that are going through my head right now that I wanted to enter in here, but at the same time I need to give some order to the chaos, right? First things first, second things second and all that…Read More

I’m really struggling right now personally. The soul-sickness is just progressively getting worse instead of getting better. I had felt better a few weeks ago after I had identified the problem and I had other people come back into my life in minor ways here and there and things seemedRead More

Well, my first Long Ridge Writers Group was returned to me by Lou Fisher and the response was pretty admirable — for 500 words. Now I get to seriously start looking at my next assignment of 750-1000 words and I sort of shudder right now because I just can’t focusRead More

Yes, I am back. Johnny boy went on hiatus but I didn’t leave you guys flat. Could you imagine me doing that? Never! Had to take apart my computer and desk in general because the new one was set to arrive yesterday (it did — late) and I needed toRead More

I’m trying to write a new short story that is going to be part of something greater in the coming weeks and months. A chronicle of short stories that turns into a short book perchance? I don’t know, we’ll see what happens there. At any rate I’m a good bitRead More

I’ve been debating this on Skyscraperpage.com for a few days now and basically I’m still put off — or all out LOST – trying to understand the logic that Herr Bush is using: Since the Office of Homeland Security came into being shortly after the 9-11 Terrorist Attacks against theRead More

What does life amount to? Absent of all the emotions and all of the material stuff? What does existence amount to, or the human soul? In simple imagery, I think of life as stretch of beach that goes on for no set length, no known distance, endlessly spanning north toRead More

Be Honest With Me Be honest with me How many times – – Does a sparkle energize? – Does a ruby’s glamour cry? – Does an angel comb it’s wings? How many crimes does it Take to scrutinize Old men hiding secrets And their oil companies? Tell me what definesRead More

You ever have one of those days where it seems no one wants anything to do with you and you want to just slam your head against the wall over and over again? Or perhaps one of those days where it seems like everyone is in love around you andRead More

So it’s Wednesday and I’m still thinking about last night. I didn’t talk so much about the date itself as the similarity between the girl in question and someone from the distant past. Though I can’t get over the similarities. She came over to my place and we then wentRead More

Whoa. Taking a casual aquaintence out for a date was something I haven’t done which seems sad and pathetic but when it’s someone off the internet – you must be careful. Tonight I had my first true experience with it and I am not regretting it in the least bit.Read More

So me and Bill Erickson got to talking about things and I had been really concerned with some local news I had been reading concerning the state budget, local school budget cuts and the basic needs (assistant principles, aids for disabled students) being forced to be let go in anRead More

Friends stick it through. You might not agree with them, you might have things materialize that you don’t agree with, you may move away from them (or vice versa) but they stick it through and show up over and over in your life (unless you push them out or abuseRead More

This is the end, beautiful friend This is the end, my only friend The end – Of our elaborate plans The end – Of everything that stands The end – No safety nor surprise The end – I’ll never look into your eyes again Can you picture what will be,Read More

I’ve talked briefly with people in the past about some problems I am having when I am sleeping. Some people have trouble sleeping because of insomnia, others have trouble sleeping because of being uncomfortable, while others have problems sleeping due to heartbreak while others have problems sleeping because of nightmares.Read More

Sometimes it gets to the point where you break over the slightest things. The sameness flowing around you, the lack of variation from the norm… Or maybe even the norm makes you ill to your stomach and makes you want to toss your cookies. I’m at that point right now.Read More

I’m writing this entry through Notepad right now because I’m not able to access my web site and update it — damn Digital Zones, fix the fucking thing already! (UPDATE — 8:41 PM as I write this and they are STILL down! UPDATE 2 — 5:57 Tuesday — FINALLY backRead More

I spent the early afternoon with Andy — went to Alan’s house in Central Clearwater to drop off one of the two Captains Beds that we have. After that we stopped off at Home Depot to pick up some things (fence, utilities) that he needed for a new gate fenceRead More

What Am I…. What am I supposed to do? Just call her name And get off the train – Loneliness Southbound Cartoon Express A fixture through the mess – Her face, and my memory there of And the desires unquenched As the fifth Beatle Who has never crossed Abby RoadRead More

It remains to be seen just what and where life will lead next and I feel totally tapped out right now and exhausted emotionally with how things have been going the past couple of weeks. I woke up today with plans to do things and I never was able toRead More

I spent a couple of hours at Target and Boot Ranch trying to occupy myself and forget about certain things and certain people today, it worked for the most part but it still left a bitter taste in my mouth because I want to stay out and when I gotRead More

Well, my day was mostly uneventful and I will get to that in a minute but I am having some trouble collecting my thoughts here… *John rummages around his brain and tries his best to collect his thoughts* OK, I think I found a writing concept for this journal entryRead More

I don’t get on people for being spoiled very much – though I think of myself as spoiled in a lot of ways… That’s helped along mostly because I am a pain in the ass and I act like a pain in the ass until I get my way… (currentRead More