An example of how Online Dating Sucks
(NOTE: I know this is one of the most popular posts on Stonegauge but it should be said that it’s also a couple of years old, odds are the links or profiles I link to are no longer working — or maybe they are? Whatever the case, don’t be surprised fif they are not)
I’ve signed up on PlentyOfFish again with hopes of just meeting someone to talk to… Not necessarily a date but someone to talk to. Unlike other dating platforms out there, you are able to talk directly with someone without having to pay a monthly fee on POF which makes it a reason to use it…
The problem is the more I am on there, the less hope I have for civilization.
Come across someone who’s picture looks cute and then head over to her profile (take any of these as examples) and lo and behold what do you find but women lacking any depth or character in how they present themselves. “I like to have fun and go out.” Right, go out and do what? “Have fun!” By doing…? Come on, this isn’t rocket science.
Of course, when you do come across someone who seems interesting and has a bit of depth to themselves, most times they come off above you or have just enough information for you to assess that you and said girl (or guy) would not be an ideal match in any way, shape or form.
Online dating sucks. Meeting people in reality and trying to find out what works and not in person is a lot better… Just doesn’t have a chance of happening much deep in the heart of Suburban Hell.
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The Hefty Bag approach to dating: Has anyone yet compared the success rate of dating the old fashioned way, ten years ago, back before Internet personals were invented — and the new, improved Internet way?
Are there any statistics that show a greater satisfaction with relationships, more stable and lasting marriages?
Or has Internet dating actually eroded our ability to meet and relate?
Here are some themes I hope to explore in Brain Dancing:
1. An endless stream of new prospects has made dates less precious, more expendable. It’s created what I call the “Hefty Bag” approach to dating. Dates are rapidly trashed (or recycled.) As if Internet dates somehow aren’t “real” people — so real feelings don’t matter.
2. The anonymity of personal ads has created an explosion in “casual encounters,” “hookups” just for sex, “booty calls”, swinger ads and “NSA” affairs. Were people really into so much no strings attached sex ten years ago — before the Internet made it so anonymous and easy?
3. Online dating has made infidelity a profitable business — 28% of the 40 million American adults who use Internet personals are actually married.
4. Despite the proliferation in Internet dating services — few people seem to create sustainable relationships this way. Out of my wide circle of personal friends, I know only 4 couples who have met and married through personal ads. (And of those, one resulted in a divorce one year later.). Virtually all of my single friends use Internet personals — but very few of these people seem to make it past the first date with anyone.
5. Internet personal ads are often blatantly dishonest. Every man I know who has tried Internet dating services complains that the majority of the photographs that women place are at least ten years old and that women about their age. (One guy I spoke with on the phone when I was screening prospective dates said, sarcastically, “Photoshop is a girl’s best friend.” Women complain that the men they meet are often married and looking for some side play–or recently separated, on the rebound and just looking for quick, casual sex — even though their ad states they’re single and “looking for a serious relationship”.
6. The upside? Internet ads bring wonderful new friends into our lives who we might have never met otherwise — or put us in touch with people we already met before (“in the real world”) but somehow didn’t connect with. Internet ads also help people find “that needle in a haystack” — the one person in the world who can share a very narrow, political interest, religion, dietary preference, race, geographic region, kink or hobby.
I personally think the problem is Plenty Offish. Their out-of-date graphic design and ridiculous me-too attitude to sitebuilding is starting to form their customer base. I’d rather recommend my own site, http://www.amorliber.com . As free online dating goes, it is far more likely to be the winner in the long run.