The Mystery of Bo Fontana

Everyone gets junk letters in the mail. They can be the local mass-advertising, they can be political campaigns, they might just be credit cards and pre-approved drivel… Maybe magazine subscriptions, renewal notices and the occasional national group trying to recruit members.

And for somewhere close to 10 years, through the ridiculousness and annoyance of it, I’ve learned an interesting fact that has been established by the US Mail and nothing else: I have a wayward brother and his name is Bo.

“Bo Fontana” has gotten college applications in the mail, he’s gotten credit cards offered to him. From time to time, he gets insurance offers sent his way, the US Military is after him, and today? The AARP.

I don’t know how the hell this has transpired, nor who signed up where which started the craze… But I’d like to officially say right now that there is no Bo Fontana! Not in my home, at least… Nor anyone in my immediate or extended family.

Now if I could tip off the powers that be to that fact…