Something's Got to Give and Take

It’s late when I write this… Or early if you think of things that way… I guess it’s a “Half-empty”, “Half-full” kinda observation but whatever… That isn’t really the point I am trying to drive home in this post.

What is my point? I haven’t the foggiest. I’m just awake and bored and I have a few moments because I am not trying to write my story that I have been working on (the “Peters Problem” story is now 73 manuscript pages long and I am choking up because I don’t know if I shoudl continue or if the story is worth continuing or what).. That’s my first crux of the moment…. Maybe I am just wrong for writing it at all because it gets lame? Or I feel like it’s lame at least and I just need some input (which I am awaiting from certain people).

Maybe the doubts arose from watching Something’s Got To Give last night? Great movie but I felt like art was imitating life when I saw it. There were so many things that I could identify with from both the main characters…. well, except menopause, wrinkled asses, dating women half your age and of course — being 55+…. But other things, other issues… It was a real shot of deja-vu watching it… Uncanny…

That, or I am drawing too many thoughts from films. That was my initial reaction when I tried to put doubts into my mind. “You read too much into these things John. Stop taking them so seriously!”

But between the story and the movie — i just have doubts and have confusion. I hear the phrase over and over again that everything happens for a reason and I am trying to think of reasons why my life is how it is, why things go as they do. Am I supposed to fail in life? Is that my reasoning?

Yeah, that’s negative… That’s how I’m thinking right now though. Balls-to-the-wall honesty.

And I am also rambling here if you couldn’t guess… Not a clear, coherent entry and… Ah, hell, I just need something interesting and positive right now.