Loneliness

I’m quite sad right now..without a reason really. I’m quite lonely and I have this yearning inside of me that just wishes I had someone here to curl up with and watch a movie or to sit and talk with while we listen to music. The feeling is indescribable to me…like fingernails on a chalk board it really gets me to the point where I want to grit my teeth or throw my head into my pillow until I pass out from exaustion.

It has taken my energy away and made me feel a wave of depression sweep through. I am supposed to be reading my history but I cannot focus to do so. I cannot focus enough to do much of anything, especially writing a journal entry. Generally when I get in this mood I write until my little hand cannot take any more writing or I type until my wrists hurt. There are just so many thoughts that I throw down on paper or onto the screen that I could go through for you right now.

Quite frankly, when I fall into this slump I feel like talking to John the most..he can usually bring me out of it. He’s the one guy I’ve almost always been able to depend on for anything. I can’t wait until he gets back to talk to him..after being away from him for a while I start to feel like part of me is missing..somehow he seems to bring it out in me.

I think he knows that…I think he feels the same too. So maybe I’m not feeling a sort of loneliness..maybe it’s more of a heartache.

Well…that’s all for tonight. I think I’m going to just lay on my bed and let my mind wander for the next couple hours.