Loneliness, Southbound

So what have I done the past four days in my house? Just about everything…. Alone at that.

In fact I went and put on a pot of coffee for my parents about the time their flight got in. You know, Mr. Nice Guy and stuff like that. I would never do some shit like this if I wasn’t craving attention in some way. How was I thanked? I think I got 10 words total out of both my parents when I talked to them. Oh, they could give me the rub that they were tired — or someone else might make that case with me – but they sure as shit had a lot to talk about with my older brother. They weren’t as dismissive or non-inquiring about things.

And what about John?

Lets see, I’m using a WALKER to keep my balance at times around the house, I can’t just leave the house… I’ve been stuck here with someone who believed I couldn’t handle shit in the house alone and yet he was also someone who wouldn’t bother trying to talk to me much — if at all — the entire time.

To say the least, I’ve been lonely. I’m still lonely… I don’t know how the hell I am going to get through the next few weeks in the hospital feeling like this, because it’s not like I’m going to have people stopping by much.

I’m lost. Plain and simple, I am lost.