Dated Material

Whoa.

Taking a casual aquaintence out for a date was something I haven’t done which seems sad and pathetic but when it’s someone off the internet – you must be careful. Tonight I had my first true experience with it and I am not regretting it in the least bit.

In fact, I’m trying my Freud to see what it means. It was conversation , it was hanging out, it was a link to the past and what could have — no SHOULD have – been if I had some nerve several years ago and did what I should have done and asked out a more than casual aquaintence because of my feelings for her.

It’s not that things clicked especially well — I was my usual self and I was just meeting this girl for the first time in reality. It was the nostalgia I had when I got to watching this girl and seeing her reactions and mannerisms and…

This isn’t the past. This isn’t who I was comparing this girl to. It was a totally seperate being with totally seperate plans for life and totally seperate goals. Someone that I am just getting to know. Not someone I knew. Someone I want to know more about – maybe need to know more about.

Anyway, she wants to hang out again sometimes soon — which is cool by me. Danny-boy wants to hang out when he is down here. Maybe a group outing would be a way to go about things? We’ll see.

Yes, this makes it easier for me to understand some people’s actions – but doesn’t forgive them one iota for their cowardice or Selfish at the same time. I imagine at one point you’re going to think “I guess he doesn’t want to talk to me…” That’s not quite the truth — you haven’t even tried to be a friend to me or make amends as a friend. That might work with the Erie lot (just put it off, it’ll go away) but it doesn’t work in the real world. Why should I talk to you if you’re going to act like you did nothing wrong in how you broke the news to me, or act in general like you don’t want to talk to me? Two negatives don’t make a positive.