Apathy and Other Musings

I spent a couple of hours at Target and Boot Ranch trying to occupy myself and forget about certain things and certain people today, it worked for the most part but it still left a bitter taste in my mouth because I want to stay out and when I got back I found everything I had been thinking / planning fell through.

I met someone who lives near me two days ago on here — typical goth chick and all that jazz. We were having some pretty good conversation up until yesterday afternoon when I asked her what she prides herself in and she told me “Apathy”. She also ended up telling me how much she didn’t care and how she was proud of it… And then telling me how she didn’t even care for the conversation we were having…

That was a quick way to kill conversation with me and tell me you aren’t serious at all about relationships with anyone except yourself and whatever you do as your hobby — be apathetic about things. I mean, the girl was looking for someone to talk to and you get going with things and having an intelligent conversation is such a challenge with people you meet online and then you meet someone who actually talks with an IQ over 80 and you come to the conclusion you don’t care??? Great going, nice attitude and it was a real pleasure talking to you until you contradicted yourself by searching for conversation and not caring who or what you were talking to, or anything else for that matter.

Meanwhile I’m continuing to have the romantic thought of a small business or a business where everyone knows you and you know who you deal with… Like a small coffee shop in downtown Tampa where there is a market for places like that. As of right now, being in the suburbs, you don’t get that or don’t feel comfortable with the places you have. I had one place — the Java Jungle — where I used to hang out where I was comfortable with everyone and the atmosphere was great – just the location sucked for them. My dad’s cousin Linda and her husband Morgan have a place like that near San Francisco (small coffee shop) and it’s right around the corner from a Starbucks but they still have a loyal following.

I’d be content with something like that – but then again that takes money and that’s something I do not have any of right now.

Speaking of Downtown, I’m trying to explore ways to get my ass downtown and back… I never get a chance to just wander around down there and see the sights, it’s always zip-to-and-zip-back when I’m with people. Time for me to do stuff on my own if everyone is not going to take part in exploring